Friday, May 30, 2008


That is all




Please tell me a number so I can know and be knowledgable and have insight etc

Plus, I will not feed you if you dont tell me

and I wont be there either!

so there


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

extra bit

Just to let you know that mum woke up wobbly and stiff ( bit like some boys I know) this morning but pain free....

so I chucked her on the plane to Byron and thats where she is

What a life I tell you...never a dull moment

Excepy maybe the office...with 1400 bills to pay before month end and playing scrabble instead!


excepy is a word now!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Had mum booked on the 7pm plane...

...unfortunatly she woke up in agonising pain this morning and stayed that way all day till about 2 hours ago.

no pain killers would work and she ended up hallucinating from them in between vomiting from the pain in her back.

Finally she took an anti inflammatory and it farkin worked!

We are thinking that she did something to aggeravate her back last night by lifting too heavy things and this was the result!

The thigs that ran through my head today were not pleasant.

Hopefully the pain will not be back tomorrow.

Hopefully she did injure her back lifting...

Hopefully ....

Oh god, what is this going to be like?

B17 arrived yesterday, got to get her on enzymes for a week then start taking it. If it only helps with the pain I will be GRATEFUL if today was anything to go by.

I hate cancer

It sucks!

But the hallucinations were funny....I was flashing a little tiny tv at her and then I grew a moustache!


Monday, May 26, 2008


Its Monday???


I have been busy scrubbing a filthy old man...

Saturday and Sunday spent I, with scrubber gear, in the ex abode of a dirty old bastard who we locked out for non payment of rentals.....he is probably in the gutter and all his stuff is going to the tip and I, silly scrubber, volunteered my services to clean up said dirt box for cash monies of which I will not be getting enough.

10 hours to clean a stove people...3 tins of noxious poison and a paintscraper, 12 boxes of steel wool soap pads and 35 wettexes later, the stove is schmick and I am a wreck. I have also scrubbed ceilings and walls of 6 years of tobacco smoke and grease, cleaned, with the aid of 2 bottles of NOT swear at me Diana, bi carb wasnt going to cut it...on the shower recess and ...well, thats enough graphic detail, you get the picture. 2 days and still not done...grrrr.

Oh well...who needs rest anyway. Too much time to think otherwise.

My mother is a little mess at the moment and I am shipping her up to my sister for a few days so she can be distracted. I am not feeling very up to this right this minute. A few days without tears and depression and fear onslaught will be nice for me too. Not that I mind, just is heavy going trying to do everything half arsed.


Am looking forward to lunch with the witches and hoping it happens...cant guarantee my house will be clean though...perhaps we should all go to Harry's...I hear he has a really clean oven!


Friday, May 23, 2008


At my house??

Next Sunday??

Let me know!

Bring your own slave....

UMMMM....the 1st people, the 1st of June

Thursday, May 22, 2008


Hospital appointments are always a yuk crash back to reality

6 - 12 months before things get awful they say

some fluid around the site of surgery

suspicious things in the lung that they arent even worrying about as the other will get her first

poor little mother

she doesnt want to die

not that soon anyway

I wonder if she will ever get to the foot stomping not having this crap stage?

I hope this B17 does something good for her

I really do

but I know its up to her to decide to live and fear is all crippling and hope is just a word sometimes

And faith, to some, is just a concept

I am not a spiritual advisor

just a kid am I


I am here

for her

whatever will be

I can live with that


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Bloody Hell

Is the world on stand by??

Whats with the 36 hour days and the complete lack of action?

Not even a tenant is complaining in my neck of the woods....weird indeed

Mother is off getting scanned and needlestuck today after having gone to MASS with the CSV!!

This is interesting too.

I am glued to my chair in this office and have been for farking 2 weeks of nonhappeningthings now.

Going nuts slowly but surely.

Having impending doom type feelings re results of CTs etc and trying hard to deal with this without falling asleep in my cold coffee.

Its bloody cold and I dont have enough clothes on.

Must go....

scrabble beckons

Friday, May 16, 2008

Oh my god!

Ha ha

Nothing exciting has happened

I just knew you'd see that on someones feed and come rushing to have a looksee

Have you noticed that I have blogged EVERYDAY recently??

Thats because Im bored off my tits and need stimuliiiiiiiii

shame Im not getting it!

Bad people


dont you know I need something to do


and Jen cheated on her IQ test

she used a word generator and a calculator I am sure



Thursday, May 15, 2008


Ex husband has apologised for being a shithead, even though it was really me who was a shithead.

I will let him wear it....

I am trying to stretch 5 things to do into enough things to do to fill an entire day at the orifice in Lost The Plot, where I now work and reside. Living in the Backpassage was a bit too much....

I have played all my scrabble games, eaten a giant packet of Twisties and 2 of Fruit Tingles, (yes short pants will soon be back I know) and have chatted with the guy who wants to ask me out but is too scared because he has seen my scary boyfriend......he has nice tatts darlin' I wouldnt.

I have had 17 cups of cold coffee and done the banking and printed out things and I am extremely BORED in this far too quiet office.

Mother of mine has taken herself off to the quack and the hairdressers, a change indeed from the woman who needed to be driven everywhere just a few short weeks ago. She has been feeling a bit off the last week or so and is scared shitless at every pain, but this is not unreasonable, I am too. Next week is CT scan, blood test and Oncologist appointment time and its yuk. Just yuk. I have recieved and sent off the fax of the TGA form from the doctor to get the B17 today so that should be here in a week or so. Dont get me wrong, I am not thinking this is a miracle cure at this stage of her disease, but it has been known to slow things down considerably in the spread and also to have extremely positive results with lessening the pain that cancer sufferers go through, Its worth a try I think for sure. And the detoxing she has to do in the meantime certainly wont bloody hurt either.

Anyway, time will tell, will it not.

My son is 18 next week!

Thats EIGHTEEN people!!

How did that happen?

I was shooting the scary dragons (sorry Jewel) in his built in wardrobe with his Power Ranger gun so he could go to sleep just a minute ago.......frik I am old....and suffering.

BUT I do have an IQ of 136 so I cant be all bad considering I have Alzheimers and all.....

Faerie has beaten me though, but she is younger and less prone to forgetting her own name than I am.....

oh shutup Michelle and go and do some work.....


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

chest pain and leaky me

Did you know that sometimes your chest gets really tight

so tight you cant frikken breathe

and you think you have pnuemonia or lung cancer or something horrible

and ex husbands make you mad

so you sit at your table and leak tears everywhere for a while

and presto!

chest pain is gone

stoopid person who forgets she has something to cry about


  • do people who are PAID to mow your bloody lawn come and spend 30 mins whippersnipping the mountainside then get shitty when you make them rake up the grass they leave everywhere including the waterway where the rain needs to go if it isnt going to flood the joint??
  • do landlords come and clean out your drains that are full of sand because they are slackarses and then DUMP THE FRIKKEN SAND all over your front lawn that has taken 2 months to get into reasonable condition?? Do they think they OWN the joint? Well, they can pay the rent
  • am I sitting here in my magenta dressing gown that is very warm and provided by loving daughter for mothers day when I have 60,000 things to do and only one day off?
  • am I playing 93 games of scrabble but only 3 people are ever on at the same time?
  • do I have a rating of 1400ish when I have won the last 25 games bar 3? (not that I care of course, it is only a game!)
  • does my ex husband have to be such a shithead? Suddenly its all too much trouble. F%@ing men!


Monday, May 12, 2008

not arsenic

Just to clarify, as far as I can determine, apple seeds do not contain arsenic. Its a common mistake though. They do contain cyanide in small doses which is actually the bit that kills the cancer cells. It comes in the form of a molecule that also contains 2 other things that actually prevent the healthy cells from absorbing the cyanide but the cancer cells 'suck it up' and die.

But dont take my word for some research for yourself.

Its quite fascinating and shocking too!

Saturday, May 10, 2008


I dont know if you read it or not as no one has commented


If you eat 3 apples a day, seeds and ALL, you will get as much vitamin B17 as you should in a normal diet

the vitamin is in the seeds of all fruits except citrus but especially in apricot kernels, delicious apples, crushed linseed too apparently and other stuff

...and if you havent read it then do so



Thursday, May 08, 2008


i have been doing much research on vitamin B17 and its use in the treatment of cancer.

I found this article and I think you should all read it.

I have managed to find a doctor who will help and I am putting my mother on it asap.

I will also be taking it myself, in a preventative dose because I believe it.

I am being guided strongly in this and it is VERY IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE!

So please take 5 minutes and read something HERE that could help save your life.

Choose the link to Article: Cancer, Merely a Vitamin Deficiency Disease?

Monday, May 05, 2008

Where my head is at....?

Well, buggered if I know

I am still overly tired which is beginning to concern me, Im not an old woman and should have more oomph than this

Its probably emotional but the old body is aching and paining a lot and Im OVER it for sure

The trouble with having a close to me person with cancer is that you cannot pretend cancer does not exist and it seems to me that every pain and strange thing must now be a malignant thing and all that crap. I am full of fear and must get my head around that....somehow.

I have a son who is concerning me greatly at the moment, I dont know how I have managed to rear a boy with such disrespect, ignorance and angst and I want to smack him continuously and very hard. If I had the bloody energy I would.

Darlin is here at the moment and I dont have the energy to be there for him either.

At least my girls are good.

Anybody know of a job going for an almost 18 year old who knows everything and thinks he can make his way in the world by willpower alone?

It must pay 4,000,000 bucks a year too....

On the bright side I have informed the mater I will not be working on wednesday and am coming in to see Robert Young because I feel I have to....and I want to....and I suprise curveballs incoming from the bloody universe please!

I have a little list of things I want
  • a vacuum cleaner that really sucks instead of just going through the motions and making much noise for little gain
  • a button on the computer that automatically turns the accidental CAPS typing into lower case
  • A Scrabulous that goes FAST
  • to have never picked up that first cigarette
  • a neck lift and a boob job
  • a large serving of oomph delivered immediately!
Thats is all.....

Whinge bitch moan



Friday, May 02, 2008



bloody caps button

Im okay

Its month end week and we have had a system upgrade at the orifice so everything is arse up


on the tail end of it now thank fark

I went to bed at 6.30 the other night and slept till 5.30 am


so, when do I get a life??

good question.....