Gawd
Thank god that's over
Day from hell indeedy
Month end
Banking that wouldn't balance
Urgent submissions that needed submissing (:) urgently simultaneously with crooked banking and month ends and other such crap
Blood tests that needed doing during month ends
Mothers who are VERY constipated and feeling like shit (no pun intended) needing to do urgent submissing and month ends because they are too stubborn to let their daughters do the final bank EFT .......so they sit there groaning away looking like death and making daughters feel guilty
Crap everywhere in monthendingsubmissingorifices
Chemo to do tomorrow ....... poor mum is not looking forward to it and is making noises about not 'doing this shit if it feels like this all the time'....she will though, at least twice, until they know if it is working or not.
Poor mama.
You see what I mean?????
GAWD
Must get to gratitude
Ummmmm
I am grateful that today is over and that Tahni will be in the office tomorrow and will stuff all those statements into envelopes instead of me :)
I am grateful that Shelli has been to school 2 days in a row and is not dragging her arse around looking like someone stole her dog
I am grateful for my bed that is warm and waiting with no bastard in it so I can snore if I want to!
That will do
ahhhhhh
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Whinesday again
This is my son Josh, doing his thang in Germany, he is into Parkour
( which is a sporty type thing involving throwing oneself all around the place )
I have been very busy today( which is a sporty type thing involving throwing oneself all around the place )
I am now tired again but not quite a zombie
Mum is sick today...very nauseous (how the hell to spell?) (aha spellcheck is my god) and feeling unwell....any tips you chemo veterans out there? Please. She also feels like her throat is closing up and her mouth has been bleeding. Grrrrrrr
Month end tomorrow on top of all that....triple grrrrrrr
I cooked a meal with vegetables tonight...just to ward off the scurvy you know
That is all really
Life is thrilling
Why is it that when you are busy and running in and out the door every bastard under the sun wants to come in and shoot the shit with you for half an hour?
And why is it that frikken yobbos from hell who are obviously bikers and druggies and jailbirds think that I will rent them a house because they tell me they are great people?
And why is it that sometimes I believe them and then they prove to me that I was right in the first place??
I had to miss my 6 week check up on Monday to get the damn house finished. So now I will hopefully get there next/this Monday instead.....I cheated though and had a bath yesterday!
So there!
I haven't had a single piece of falling out guts and stuff either. Hrmph
Hmmmmmmm
Goodnight people....see you in dreamland
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday blahblah
After not sleeping till 1 am last night, due to being over tired I guess, I am now officially a zombie.
I have lurched my way through the day, eaten Garlic Prawn Pizza and am now having a cup of tea
The house is almost silent
The girls are in their rooms doing girl things
The dog is somewhere doing dog things
Mum is still feeling okay. A bit naseaus (?) but nothing drastic. I think her fear of the chemo has been conquered :) and so she is a lot more relaxed. And not in much pain either strangely enough. Something has shifted in her somehow.
I will catch up tomorrow, not that life will be much different
My bed is calling me
Monday, April 27, 2009
ouch
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Little update
Too bloody tired to post much today...been painting window sills and other such stuff and am absolutely argh
Just to let you know that mums chemo went okay. They actually gave her the two lots yesterday, not the one we were expecting.
Whatever the steroid anti nausea drug is that they give her is.....I want some!
She has been very well thank you and bouncing around off the walls almost!
She's been to the dawn service, then to my house for a coffee and to drag me out off my bum, and been down the house with us today DOING stuff instead of feeling like a bump on a log....not too much stuff but anything is an improvement for her right now. I have tried to keep her quiet as I'm not too sure she won't crash after the 3 days of steroids are up.
But she is feeling more positive, today at least, about doing it, and had has not felt sick at all.
Two more days and Daniels house must be finished for the tenants to go into...almost there....GAWD I am so unfit.
Just to let you know that mums chemo went okay. They actually gave her the two lots yesterday, not the one we were expecting.
Whatever the steroid anti nausea drug is that they give her is.....I want some!
She has been very well thank you and bouncing around off the walls almost!
She's been to the dawn service, then to my house for a coffee and to drag me out off my bum, and been down the house with us today DOING stuff instead of feeling like a bump on a log....not too much stuff but anything is an improvement for her right now. I have tried to keep her quiet as I'm not too sure she won't crash after the 3 days of steroids are up.
But she is feeling more positive, today at least, about doing it, and had has not felt sick at all.
Two more days and Daniels house must be finished for the tenants to go into...almost there....GAWD I am so unfit.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Meme's and Awards ....argh
I have received this from the lovely Catherine, who writes beautiful things.
I'm passing it on to
Strawberry girl
Natalie
Sarah Lulu
Daria
Helen
The Honest Scrap Award From Strawberry Girl.
The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award.
Oh god, 10 things...ok...ummmm
Passing this one onto 5 people, yes I know I am cheating but hey, I don't have all day here :)
Audrey
Renee
Catherine
Gina
Wendy
AND I have been tagged by Natalie with this Meme
Meme Of the Moment.
Surviving the day.
My bra.....for obvious reasons after one turns 40.
Are you kidding???? Buggered if I know.....
Birds, all sorts of noisy birds, someone hammering, the dog scratching his aaa...bum.
Hi Natsy! I WILL get there one day, I willllllllll...
My bed.
Blogs and some Kellerman gory stuff, whatever I can get my hands on.
Chocolate
I now get to tag some others:
Daria, Audrey, Helen, Gina and ummmmm Bagman and Butler!
I'm not linking these...I have run out of time!
Oh yes, IT IS TAHNI'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!
She is 24! I am OLD :(
Happy Birthday my beautiful girl!!!
Have a great day everyone :)
I'm passing it on to
Strawberry girl
Natalie
Sarah Lulu
Daria
Helen
The Honest Scrap Award From Strawberry Girl.
The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award.
Oh god, 10 things...ok...ummmm
- I am 43 years old, going on 12 or 112 on any given day
- I have 4 children...Tahni, Joshua, Kayla and Shelli ...who are all very different and who make my life interesting, to say the least. I do love them all dearly though.
- I have a secret crush on Bagman.....this is due to my left over co-dependancy issues and we are agreeing to stay apart to avoid pain and heartache :)
- I smoke.....but not for too much longer.
- I am not a good house keeper...even when i have time I have much more important things to do. As long as its reasonably tidy and the bathroom is clean (oh okay and the kitchen) I DON"T CARE!
- Blue is my favourite colour...all blues.....and turquoises
- I hate Property Management...but you already know that don't you.
- I haven't had a drink or drug for 8 years in September......yes, I am an addict, and no, I don't count prescription drugs that currently save my sanity as long as I'm not abusing them
- I am very glad I sorted myself out around my mother BEFORE she got sick
- I am not a violent person but would sometimes love to slam someone!
Passing this one onto 5 people, yes I know I am cheating but hey, I don't have all day here :)
Audrey
Renee
Catherine
Gina
Wendy
AND I have been tagged by Natalie with this Meme
Meme Of the Moment.
1. What is your current obsession?
Surviving the day.
2.Which item of clothing do you wear often?
My bra.....for obvious reasons after one turns 40.
3.What's for dinner?
Are you kidding???? Buggered if I know.....
4.What are you listening to?
Birds, all sorts of noisy birds, someone hammering, the dog scratching his aaa...bum.
5.Say something to the one that tagged you.
Hi Natsy! I WILL get there one day, I willllllllll...
6.Favorite vacation spot?
My bed.
7. What I'm reading right now?
Blogs and some Kellerman gory stuff, whatever I can get my hands on.
8. Four words to describe myself.
Tired, exhausted, angry and grateful, I am working on grateful, faking it till I am making it, did I say tired?
9.Guilty pleasure.
Chocolate
10. ( reworked) What do you think you will feel about your life when all is said and done?
I have no idea, thank god that's over, probably, I did my best usually/sometimes/hopefully.
I have no idea, thank god that's over, probably, I did my best usually/sometimes/hopefully.
11. What do you look forward to?
I look forward to having time just for me.I now get to tag some others:
Daria, Audrey, Helen, Gina and ummmmm Bagman and Butler!
I'm not linking these...I have run out of time!
Oh yes, IT IS TAHNI'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!
She is 24! I am OLD :(
Happy Birthday my beautiful girl!!!
Have a great day everyone :)
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I don't have an interesting title in me.....
The dog ate the lap top cord :(
This means I now have the PC spread out on my table pretending to be a laptop until the funny little computer man buys me a new cord at the computer fair on Sunday....
Is it illegal to de tooth your dog???
I would still feed him...mush and stuff.....grrrr
I don't blame the dog...people who know dogs are going through chewing frenzies should not leave things they don't want chewed where the dog can get them....all this means is I need to put the whole house on a high bench top right???
Except that he is just tall enough to pull things off the edges of the benches too....hence loaf of bread earlier in the week, or was that last week???? Arghhhhhhhhhh
I am very tired
Still...... yes I will take some iron tablets Renee
Mum cried today because the blood test lady was nice to her while sticking sharp things in her only twice
She is stressed out and terrified of chemo, of dying, of everything really.
I wish I knew a way to make it easier for her.
It is hard.
On a bright note, I have received a beautiful bound book of 'my' Curlicursive story from John in England, how cool is that!
He is a lovely man and has also written a story for my Shelli and is writing one for my Kayla too.
Sometimes you meet people you will probably never lay eyes on and they make a difference to your life. I have met several of you on here and I appreciate each of you.
I also, through this blog, have received some wonderfully supportive emails.
It is nice, beyond nice, to know people care out there and that the world is not such a cold unfeeling place as we sometimes perceive it to be.
It is full of 'nice' stuff too.
It's all about balance I suppose.
This means I now have the PC spread out on my table pretending to be a laptop until the funny little computer man buys me a new cord at the computer fair on Sunday....
Is it illegal to de tooth your dog???
I would still feed him...mush and stuff.....grrrr
I don't blame the dog...people who know dogs are going through chewing frenzies should not leave things they don't want chewed where the dog can get them....all this means is I need to put the whole house on a high bench top right???
Except that he is just tall enough to pull things off the edges of the benches too....hence loaf of bread earlier in the week, or was that last week???? Arghhhhhhhhhh
I am very tired
Still...... yes I will take some iron tablets Renee
Mum cried today because the blood test lady was nice to her while sticking sharp things in her only twice
She is stressed out and terrified of chemo, of dying, of everything really.
I wish I knew a way to make it easier for her.
It is hard.
On a bright note, I have received a beautiful bound book of 'my' Curlicursive story from John in England, how cool is that!
He is a lovely man and has also written a story for my Shelli and is writing one for my Kayla too.
Sometimes you meet people you will probably never lay eyes on and they make a difference to your life. I have met several of you on here and I appreciate each of you.
I also, through this blog, have received some wonderfully supportive emails.
It is nice, beyond nice, to know people care out there and that the world is not such a cold unfeeling place as we sometimes perceive it to be.
It is full of 'nice' stuff too.
It's all about balance I suppose.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Another day....
Well, it is Wednesday
I have had 4 hours sleep, serves me right for reading half the night
It is eerily quiet here today
I will not complain
I don't know why I am always so tired, it's not as if I am doing anything particularily physical, just brain strain I guess.
Stress.
My days are mostly repetitive and quite boring
Sometimes my life feels like Groundhog Day
That's okay, I'm not actually whinging, for once, just observing.
I need some variety one of these days is all :)
I would like to be able to do some things for the people I care about
I would like to have lunch and stuff with Lisa and assorted others
I would like to visit Nat before her baby turns 6
I would like to paint John a picture
and send some cool stuff to people who would like it
I would like to go shopping for something not to wear to the office, with some money that I earned for myself doing something I like. I don't get paid for this 'job'...it is a labour of love as there is no money
I would like to clean my windows and change my house around a bit
I would like the energy and the time to be 'me' whoever she be....
Oh well, one of these dyas I will have all of that won't I
But I probably won't have my mum
Bittersweet
sigh
I have had 4 hours sleep, serves me right for reading half the night
It is eerily quiet here today
I will not complain
I don't know why I am always so tired, it's not as if I am doing anything particularily physical, just brain strain I guess.
Stress.
My days are mostly repetitive and quite boring
Sometimes my life feels like Groundhog Day
That's okay, I'm not actually whinging, for once, just observing.
I need some variety one of these days is all :)
I would like to be able to do some things for the people I care about
I would like to have lunch and stuff with Lisa and assorted others
I would like to visit Nat before her baby turns 6
I would like to paint John a picture
and send some cool stuff to people who would like it
I would like to go shopping for something not to wear to the office, with some money that I earned for myself doing something I like. I don't get paid for this 'job'...it is a labour of love as there is no money
I would like to clean my windows and change my house around a bit
I would like the energy and the time to be 'me' whoever she be....
Oh well, one of these dyas I will have all of that won't I
But I probably won't have my mum
Bittersweet
sigh
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
add-en-dumb
I could probably be a bit more specific :)
Chemo education appointment was for 2.00 pm
We got in to see a DVD for 25 mins at 3.30 pm'
Then we waited for half an hour for an extremely harried chemo nurse to come throw some information at us and at 4.15 we were done.
Apparently 2 nurses were out sick and chaos had ensued all day at the chemo palace. Also all the Monday chemo people have to have their blood tests at the hospital and the pathology lab went down for the morning so people booked in for 9 am were getting treatment at 1 pm.......argh it was.
AND the lovely DVD was full of nice positive people talking all about how chemo was giving them a chance to live. Isn't that nice for a Stage 4 patient who is going to die to watch, hmmmm.
And then today was chaos
The modem in the office died overnight so no internet
Excellent for business
Twas eventually found to be a dead power cord so was not too much of a drama but it took 2 hours of interaction with Telstra to find out nothing and one visit from the funny little computer man up the road (and $20) to fix in 5 minutes.......grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Intersperse that with all the rest of the crap that happens in the orifice and my day pretty much sucked.
Oh well, I have come home to a schmick clean house thanks to the K child and a dog who has eaten nothing but dog food for a couple of days so I'm happy
Sort of.....
groan
Chemo education appointment was for 2.00 pm
We got in to see a DVD for 25 mins at 3.30 pm'
Then we waited for half an hour for an extremely harried chemo nurse to come throw some information at us and at 4.15 we were done.
Apparently 2 nurses were out sick and chaos had ensued all day at the chemo palace. Also all the Monday chemo people have to have their blood tests at the hospital and the pathology lab went down for the morning so people booked in for 9 am were getting treatment at 1 pm.......argh it was.
AND the lovely DVD was full of nice positive people talking all about how chemo was giving them a chance to live. Isn't that nice for a Stage 4 patient who is going to die to watch, hmmmm.
And then today was chaos
The modem in the office died overnight so no internet
Excellent for business
Twas eventually found to be a dead power cord so was not too much of a drama but it took 2 hours of interaction with Telstra to find out nothing and one visit from the funny little computer man up the road (and $20) to fix in 5 minutes.......grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Intersperse that with all the rest of the crap that happens in the orifice and my day pretty much sucked.
Oh well, I have come home to a schmick clean house thanks to the K child and a dog who has eaten nothing but dog food for a couple of days so I'm happy
Sort of.....
groan
One small thing
Monday, April 20, 2009
whoopee
6.33 am
Grrrrrrr been up since 4.30....yawn
Spent yesterday up a ladder tidying up messy painting at Daniel's house
Paid for that with aches and pains last night
Today mum and I go in for 'chemo training' whatever the hell that is.....
Friday she starts chemo
She is not the most positive person just now
Oh well, can't say I blame her
It's pouring down rain here
Soggy, bit cold, here comes winter....yuk
Must go do the day
ho friggen hum de dum
Grrrrrrr been up since 4.30....yawn
Spent yesterday up a ladder tidying up messy painting at Daniel's house
Paid for that with aches and pains last night
Today mum and I go in for 'chemo training' whatever the hell that is.....
Friday she starts chemo
She is not the most positive person just now
Oh well, can't say I blame her
It's pouring down rain here
Soggy, bit cold, here comes winter....yuk
Must go do the day
ho friggen hum de dum
Saturday, April 18, 2009
YAAAWWWWNNNNN
I am boring
Been awake since 2am
Am drooping fast
The dog ate my curtains again, this time it is irrepairable
The K child left him in the house when she went out
I am going to kill the dog
I will be in jail tomorrow because of killing the dog
I hope the judge is female
She will understand
Am trying to stay awake till a decent hour
To avoid waking at 2 am again
Argh
Been awake since 2am
Am drooping fast
The dog ate my curtains again, this time it is irrepairable
The K child left him in the house when she went out
I am going to kill the dog
I will be in jail tomorrow because of killing the dog
I hope the judge is female
She will understand
Am trying to stay awake till a decent hour
To avoid waking at 2 am again
Argh
Friday, April 17, 2009
Frikday at the orifice
Thinking of starting my own version of Friday Shootout!
It will be known as Friday And Every Other Day Tenant Shot In The Arse Day!
FAEODTSITAD for short.....snort
Please come to Lemon tree Passage and join me...all you need is a big gun with soft bullets and I will give you free range and take photos!
Excellent!
Or for all my junky tenants...Friday Shootupthedaybeforerentday!
Or ummmmmm oh shut up Michelle!
Someone could get killed!
Yes well, so that is how my day has been
I am now going to eat a lot and go to bed
I have a book that's waiting to be read
My life is so thrilling
BTW....I spoke some more to mum about Palliative Care and its PAIN AND SYMPTOM MANAGEMENT qualities and she has agreed that it may well be wise.
Thank god for that.
She is feeling better today after sleeping all day yesterday....
Goodnight, even if it is only 6 pm!
Oh yes, today the dog ate a loaf of bread and a full toilet roll. He is such a clever boy!
It will be known as Friday And Every Other Day Tenant Shot In The Arse Day!
FAEODTSITAD for short.....snort
Please come to Lemon tree Passage and join me...all you need is a big gun with soft bullets and I will give you free range and take photos!
Excellent!
Or for all my junky tenants...Friday Shootupthedaybeforerentday!
Or ummmmmm oh shut up Michelle!
Someone could get killed!
Yes well, so that is how my day has been
I am now going to eat a lot and go to bed
I have a book that's waiting to be read
My life is so thrilling
BTW....I spoke some more to mum about Palliative Care and its PAIN AND SYMPTOM MANAGEMENT qualities and she has agreed that it may well be wise.
Thank god for that.
She is feeling better today after sleeping all day yesterday....
Goodnight, even if it is only 6 pm!
Oh yes, today the dog ate a loaf of bread and a full toilet roll. He is such a clever boy!
Zombie Chickens Rule!
Woohoo!
I wanted one of these and the lovely Audrey has given me one!
Thank you Audrey........I shall covet no longer.
I don't know about deserving it but I am certainly going to keep it!
The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken-excellence, grace, and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, these amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least five other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by not choosing wisely or not choosing at all.
I shall pass it on to
Bagman and Butler......I would certainly fight through screaming zombie chickens for him!
Do zombies scream????
My lovely Lisa....even though she doesn't 'do' awards she is getting this one!
Diane.....because I like her 'stuff' and she cares.
Reggie Girl...for the same reason.
John.....because inside his stories you will always find a message of hope and love.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Daily Drivel
Well, I am coursed up for another year, what a boring waste of time that was......they read you information out of a book for several hours, give you a test sheet and then GIVE YOU THE PAGE NUMBERS THE ANSWERS ARE ON!
I passed of course...heheehe....bloody frik
I don't think the dog ate anything yesterday.....except a couple of empty toilet rolls and a plastic bag with an onion in it. Weird animal...must be teething...or else the valium gave him the munchies :)
Please send a few calming thoughts Helen's way today as she is having a rough time with her little screaming princess.
Mum and Kayla are safely home. Mum is shattered. Pain is not her friend this week.
Shelli has girlfriends staying over which has not happened for far too long so yay!
My internet at home is on go slow, due to many downloads 'magically' happening this month, so if I haven't been to see you lately it is because it takes 4 years to open your pages....back to normal tomorrow.
Today is the first day I have felt a bit like myself since the bloody surgery. My swelling seems to be going down which is good...I can see that, in time, I will have my 'normal' stomach back. Although, if I don't get some exercise soon there will be no hope for my arse! I have been consuming chocolate at a mad pace for 4 weeks......argh. Enough!
My scar is itchy but it is really weird to scratch it because it is numb. How can it be itchy if it is numb??? Weird.
My house looks like several hobo's have taken up residence...it is very sad :(
Too bad.
The maid will come one day I'm sure.......
Have a nice day people and thank you for all of your comments, they have lifted me up as usual!
I especially like Vevay's way of charging the camera!
I am a cactus mum!
I love blogger
PS Butler and Bagman has/have stalked me on Facebook!
I wonder if he can play Wordscraper???
Hmmmm
I passed of course...heheehe....bloody frik
I don't think the dog ate anything yesterday.....except a couple of empty toilet rolls and a plastic bag with an onion in it. Weird animal...must be teething...or else the valium gave him the munchies :)
Please send a few calming thoughts Helen's way today as she is having a rough time with her little screaming princess.
Mum and Kayla are safely home. Mum is shattered. Pain is not her friend this week.
Shelli has girlfriends staying over which has not happened for far too long so yay!
My internet at home is on go slow, due to many downloads 'magically' happening this month, so if I haven't been to see you lately it is because it takes 4 years to open your pages....back to normal tomorrow.
Today is the first day I have felt a bit like myself since the bloody surgery. My swelling seems to be going down which is good...I can see that, in time, I will have my 'normal' stomach back. Although, if I don't get some exercise soon there will be no hope for my arse! I have been consuming chocolate at a mad pace for 4 weeks......argh. Enough!
My scar is itchy but it is really weird to scratch it because it is numb. How can it be itchy if it is numb??? Weird.
My house looks like several hobo's have taken up residence...it is very sad :(
Too bad.
The maid will come one day I'm sure.......
Have a nice day people and thank you for all of your comments, they have lifted me up as usual!
I especially like Vevay's way of charging the camera!
I am a cactus mum!
I love blogger
PS Butler and Bagman has/have stalked me on Facebook!
I wonder if he can play Wordscraper???
Hmmmm
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
grumblebum part 2
Didn't get out of the office till 6.15 tonight ..........grrrr
So busy was I, and people wouldn't go away and I kept making mistakes
And the dog ate the camera charger while I was busy and not looking
(that's 3 shoes, a paintbrush, my handle off my hand mirror, a camera charger, a diposable razor, 2 socks and a bottle of valium for him this week.......the pound is looking gooder and gooder I tell you :)
But I got it all done.....I hope
Am having a very quiet giggle at myself, on the inside, for being such a cranky poo
Good news! Mums bone scan was clear.
No cancer there at least......
I bought up palliative care to her today and she nearly ate my head off.
It would make sense to get in touch with them and have someone to discuss pain managment and such with but I guess it is a bit too much reality for her to deal with......she doesn't realise that palliative care is not just for end stage cancer patients I think....and to even think about it is too hard so......we will continue with no support won't we. I will have to talk further with her about this at some point. She needs someone who isn't the hospital doctor to talk to about her 'stuff'. Symptom managment I think they call it. But it needs a referral, that SHE has to ask for......hmmm.
Oh well.....that is today done with
By the way, my father is a very intelligent, gentle and lovely man....he is also a pain in the arse, a depressive and an alcoholic :0)
I am a chip off the old block!
Argh
So busy was I, and people wouldn't go away and I kept making mistakes
And the dog ate the camera charger while I was busy and not looking
(that's 3 shoes, a paintbrush, my handle off my hand mirror, a camera charger, a diposable razor, 2 socks and a bottle of valium for him this week.......the pound is looking gooder and gooder I tell you :)
But I got it all done.....I hope
Am having a very quiet giggle at myself, on the inside, for being such a cranky poo
Good news! Mums bone scan was clear.
No cancer there at least......
I bought up palliative care to her today and she nearly ate my head off.
It would make sense to get in touch with them and have someone to discuss pain managment and such with but I guess it is a bit too much reality for her to deal with......she doesn't realise that palliative care is not just for end stage cancer patients I think....and to even think about it is too hard so......we will continue with no support won't we. I will have to talk further with her about this at some point. She needs someone who isn't the hospital doctor to talk to about her 'stuff'. Symptom managment I think they call it. But it needs a referral, that SHE has to ask for......hmmm.
Oh well.....that is today done with
By the way, my father is a very intelligent, gentle and lovely man....he is also a pain in the arse, a depressive and an alcoholic :0)
I am a chip off the old block!
Argh
Grumblebum
I will not bore you with my mood today, then again maybe I will....
My day started with a wannabe migraine that I have headed off at the pass.....I don't know why this works but I tell it to p off and it does....still, my head ached for a while there
My dog got into my handbag and ate my bottle of valium......well, he ate the bottle, I don't think he ate the valium....I am watching him closely though. Apparently they can handle a few but I don't know how many were in there to begin with ....... GRRRR
I had people lined up at the office door when I arrived this morning and so it went on.....quiet for now though
My father, who lives in Perth, on the other side of the country, sends me an email every few weeks asking how my mum is. He doesn't have the guts to ring her and says he "cannot forget the past" as his excuse.....they were married when she was 16 and he was 20, because she was pregnant with me and a whole long drama ensued......they split when I was 3 people...that would be 40 years ago!! I am getting p ed off with him now. I haven't had an actual phone call from him for years as he is......oh stuff it, I'm not telling the whole story...suffice it to say, my dad is a gutless, usually drunken whimp and I am cranky with him.
In answer to his latest email enquiring how mum is and asking if I am okayI sent him this reply
"Mum has another primary cancer in her lung. It is the one causing the grief. She is okay considering. In a bit of pain always now. They start chemo on the 24th in the hope that it will help with pain and prolong her time. She has a tumour on her adrenal gland and enlarged lymph nodes throughout her stomach area. She also has fluid around her heart, but thats ok for now and she had a bone scan the other week that we still don't know the results of yet. So, yes, she's pretty fucked actually.
I am tired, still recovering from my surgery, it has taken the wind out of my sails a bit.I had a UTI and a chest infection but seem to be over that now.
Shelli has been pretty down. Shit is happening.
Define okay
We are surviving. Life is relentless."
Maybe he will get my point, maybe not.
Men are stupid. Not all of them, just the ones I am unfortunate to be dealing with lately.
(Not including any blog men in that BTW....I like you guys and don't know you personally enough to label you stupid at all......:)
So, I am a bit grotty today
I have a course to do tomorrow so I can continue on being the idiot in this office....for this honour we must pay many $$...........how ironic.
Darlin has gone home. He thinks coming for 2 days a week and rubbing my sore back and vacuuming my floor is all I need from him....PAH
Not going there either....
I will go now before I say something really mean :0)
Bloody.......
My day started with a wannabe migraine that I have headed off at the pass.....I don't know why this works but I tell it to p off and it does....still, my head ached for a while there
My dog got into my handbag and ate my bottle of valium......well, he ate the bottle, I don't think he ate the valium....I am watching him closely though. Apparently they can handle a few but I don't know how many were in there to begin with ....... GRRRR
I had people lined up at the office door when I arrived this morning and so it went on.....quiet for now though
My father, who lives in Perth, on the other side of the country, sends me an email every few weeks asking how my mum is. He doesn't have the guts to ring her and says he "cannot forget the past" as his excuse.....they were married when she was 16 and he was 20, because she was pregnant with me and a whole long drama ensued......they split when I was 3 people...that would be 40 years ago!! I am getting p ed off with him now. I haven't had an actual phone call from him for years as he is......oh stuff it, I'm not telling the whole story...suffice it to say, my dad is a gutless, usually drunken whimp and I am cranky with him.
In answer to his latest email enquiring how mum is and asking if I am okayI sent him this reply
"Mum has another primary cancer in her lung. It is the one causing the grief. She is okay considering. In a bit of pain always now. They start chemo on the 24th in the hope that it will help with pain and prolong her time. She has a tumour on her adrenal gland and enlarged lymph nodes throughout her stomach area. She also has fluid around her heart, but thats ok for now and she had a bone scan the other week that we still don't know the results of yet. So, yes, she's pretty fucked actually.
I am tired, still recovering from my surgery, it has taken the wind out of my sails a bit.I had a UTI and a chest infection but seem to be over that now.
Shelli has been pretty down. Shit is happening.
Define okay
We are surviving. Life is relentless."
Maybe he will get my point, maybe not.
Men are stupid. Not all of them, just the ones I am unfortunate to be dealing with lately.
(Not including any blog men in that BTW....I like you guys and don't know you personally enough to label you stupid at all......:)
So, I am a bit grotty today
I have a course to do tomorrow so I can continue on being the idiot in this office....for this honour we must pay many $$...........how ironic.
Darlin has gone home. He thinks coming for 2 days a week and rubbing my sore back and vacuuming my floor is all I need from him....PAH
Not going there either....
I will go now before I say something really mean :0)
Bloody.......
Monday, April 13, 2009
Mondayitis at easter
Have been having a very boring weekend
Consisting of clipping my dog so he now looks like a NOT FAT poodle instead of a cocker spaniel...and is prancing around thus....I could have made a whole new dog out of the hair that I cut off him :)
I have also sold another house....that is 4 now.....the last of the cheapies just about
I have not had lunch with Lisa grrrrrrrr
I have slept a lot and am getting mighty sick of this tired body crap I tell you!
I have eaten some chocolate too.....
Just me and darlin home today, Shelli was all night movie marathoning last night and is staying tonight with her girlfriend, she is feeling a bit better after a couple of up and down days....yay
Tahni has gone back to the 'convent'. Interesting things may be developing there in that she is having second thoughts methinks.....hmmmm.
I would like to see that golden girl fulfilling her potential one of these days and being happy instead of cranky. She did not want to go......and will be back next week for chemo.
She needs to be out saving the world not playing kitchen maid. That is all I am saying about that for now.
It is raining here, lightly, and it is quite nice and very quiet
I hope everyone had a lovely break.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
growth
Someone pulled my wings off
When I was but a girl
The scars still burn
sometimes
Once I glued my wings back on
They don't work properly now
But I try to flap them
anyway
Last night I pulled my fake wings off
threw them in the bin
I have new ones growing now
slowly
And the scars only burn
while the new growth breaks through
When I was but a girl
The scars still burn
sometimes
Once I glued my wings back on
They don't work properly now
But I try to flap them
anyway
Last night I pulled my fake wings off
threw them in the bin
I have new ones growing now
slowly
And the scars only burn
while the new growth breaks through
Not a very good poem I know, but it means well :)
A request....
I need some suggestions
I want to get me a collection of nice uplifting beautiful music
Please give me some input
My mind is a blank
And my house is too quiet
I miss music and I am sick of what I have
I like anything
Except country and strange techno doof doof
Real music please
Music that makes you FEEL
Thanks :)
I want to get me a collection of nice uplifting beautiful music
Please give me some input
My mind is a blank
And my house is too quiet
I miss music and I am sick of what I have
I like anything
Except country and strange techno doof doof
Real music please
Music that makes you FEEL
Thanks :)
Friday, April 10, 2009
Happy Easter and shiny dudes
For some reason my fingers keep typing Eater instead of Easter
This may be anticipation :)
My friend John, at Smoke Rings & Matterings, has written a wonderful Easter tale
I think you should go and check it out
He has a way with words does John
and is a nice guy too
You could say he is a bit of a shiny dude himself
Have a good one people
This may be anticipation :)
My friend John, at Smoke Rings & Matterings, has written a wonderful Easter tale
I think you should go and check it out
He has a way with words does John
and is a nice guy too
You could say he is a bit of a shiny dude himself
Have a good one people
Thursday, April 09, 2009
P.S
I would never really kick my dogs head off!
Just in case you thought I was serious.....
Psych appointment with Shelli was okay. He has increased her antidepressant as he thinks she has probably plateau-ed (how to spell?) on it and its too early into treatment for that.
So, hopefully she will feel the benefit soon. She already seems a little lighter just knowing something is being done to change things.
I am sitting in this bloody office surrounded by crap that has been waiting for weeks for me to get to it. All of my 'bad' tenants are being true to form......argh, I would like to kick their heads off too :)
Just to clarify...my SCAR looks really good actually, you can hardly see it, it is the strange flabby crap above it that is disconcerting :(
I am very tired
Thank goodness for Easter Holidays
Have a lovely one won't you!!
Just in case you thought I was serious.....
Psych appointment with Shelli was okay. He has increased her antidepressant as he thinks she has probably plateau-ed (how to spell?) on it and its too early into treatment for that.
So, hopefully she will feel the benefit soon. She already seems a little lighter just knowing something is being done to change things.
I am sitting in this bloody office surrounded by crap that has been waiting for weeks for me to get to it. All of my 'bad' tenants are being true to form......argh, I would like to kick their heads off too :)
Just to clarify...my SCAR looks really good actually, you can hardly see it, it is the strange flabby crap above it that is disconcerting :(
I am very tired
Thank goodness for Easter Holidays
Have a lovely one won't you!!
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Grrrrrr
First things first...anyone in need of a good pee yourself laugh go see Lisa RIGHT NOW
Soooooo funny!
On to my drivel
I hate today
Counselling with Shelli....all good, we are going to get a new one, set in motion
Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to review meds
Fine fine fine
Was in the office all morning
Into town, first long drive since op, was ok
Went to MAUL, as Lisa calls it, to pick up layby with 15 year old manipulation QUEEN
Spent too much money on things that weren't in the layby
Came home to FRIGGING RIPPED CURTAINS ALL OVER THE FLOOR BY FRIGGING MONGREL PURE BRED BASTARD DOG WHO GOES BALLISTIC WHEN LEFT ALONE
Did not kick dogs head off.....due to extreme self control and post op scar tissue and the pressing need for me to keep my guts in my gut and not...oh well, you know, not in there
Have not spoken to dog since and will not ever again
See curtains in pic below......imagine now in several shreds with rail pulled out and on the floor
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Now I am in a filthy mood and am very tired and my mother and daughter got to Byron alright so that's great and wonderful and I am eating dinner because I am STARVING to death and GOING TO BED!
friksnortplurgh
Will my stomach ever look normal again??? Am I destined to have an overhang and strange puffy bits forever?? Tell me it goes away please.....TELL MEEEEEEEEE
Soooooo funny!
On to my drivel
I hate today
Counselling with Shelli....all good, we are going to get a new one, set in motion
Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to review meds
Fine fine fine
Was in the office all morning
Into town, first long drive since op, was ok
Went to MAUL, as Lisa calls it, to pick up layby with 15 year old manipulation QUEEN
Spent too much money on things that weren't in the layby
Came home to FRIGGING RIPPED CURTAINS ALL OVER THE FLOOR BY FRIGGING MONGREL PURE BRED BASTARD DOG WHO GOES BALLISTIC WHEN LEFT ALONE
Did not kick dogs head off.....due to extreme self control and post op scar tissue and the pressing need for me to keep my guts in my gut and not...oh well, you know, not in there
Have not spoken to dog since and will not ever again
See curtains in pic below......imagine now in several shreds with rail pulled out and on the floor
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Now I am in a filthy mood and am very tired and my mother and daughter got to Byron alright so that's great and wonderful and I am eating dinner because I am STARVING to death and GOING TO BED!
friksnortplurgh
Will my stomach ever look normal again??? Am I destined to have an overhang and strange puffy bits forever?? Tell me it goes away please.....TELL MEEEEEEEEE
Proof
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Yawn
Gawd
I can see why they say take 6 weeks to recover from your surgery, 3 is not enough but will have to do....
Frik
Mum is going to Byron tomorrow, a last minute plan that includes Kayla because it is her turn
Despite this leaving me here I am pleased
Who knows if she will get the chance again
Tahni is with me till Sunday then she is off too, she will return when it's time for chemo to start
Until we know how mum will react to the chemo, this is the plan
Byron, for those of you who don't know, is the beautiful Byron Bay here in New South Wales......my sister lives there and they will fly up tomorrow afternoon for a week-ish
The office will be shut over the Easter weekend so I will be off for 4 days too....woo hoo...I will need it!
Tomorrow I go take Shelli for counselling and spend my art vouchers and go to the quack to see what other nasties she has in store for me :)
All is quiet in the office this afternoon, the birds are singing and the weather is warm but not hot
Autumn is here people
Soon it will be cold
Yuk
I need some new clothes
Nothing much going on here
Just the way I like it
yay
I can see why they say take 6 weeks to recover from your surgery, 3 is not enough but will have to do....
Frik
Mum is going to Byron tomorrow, a last minute plan that includes Kayla because it is her turn
Despite this leaving me here I am pleased
Who knows if she will get the chance again
Tahni is with me till Sunday then she is off too, she will return when it's time for chemo to start
Until we know how mum will react to the chemo, this is the plan
Byron, for those of you who don't know, is the beautiful Byron Bay here in New South Wales......my sister lives there and they will fly up tomorrow afternoon for a week-ish
The office will be shut over the Easter weekend so I will be off for 4 days too....woo hoo...I will need it!
Tomorrow I go take Shelli for counselling and spend my art vouchers and go to the quack to see what other nasties she has in store for me :)
All is quiet in the office this afternoon, the birds are singing and the weather is warm but not hot
Autumn is here people
Soon it will be cold
Yuk
I need some new clothes
Nothing much going on here
Just the way I like it
yay
Monday, April 06, 2009
Groan snoff mumble bitch
Must have been a busy day if I am posting at 10 pm.....
Well, it was
Bloody office
But things got done
I think mum was about ready to have a nervous breakdown, so lucky I am better now.....grrr
At least I got a free dinner out of it :)
I drove a car today!
Only mums automatic and not very far but I did it and the sky did not fall in nor my insides fall out
I don't think I'm up to my manual yet though
I am pooped
I have just gotten rid of the bags under my eyes, pah!
Not for long though, I can tell you
Time for bed
Goodnight peoples
Smooches x 2000000000000
Well, it was
Bloody office
But things got done
I think mum was about ready to have a nervous breakdown, so lucky I am better now.....grrr
At least I got a free dinner out of it :)
I drove a car today!
Only mums automatic and not very far but I did it and the sky did not fall in nor my insides fall out
I don't think I'm up to my manual yet though
I am pooped
I have just gotten rid of the bags under my eyes, pah!
Not for long though, I can tell you
Time for bed
Goodnight peoples
Smooches x 2000000000000
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Busy doing nothing
Saturday, April 04, 2009
pssst
I think I am feeling a bit/lot better
I don't trust it yet though :)
Yesterday afternoon I had an enormous horrible panic attack, just what I needed, for no reason. As you can imagine I was undecided in the midst of it as to whether it actually was anxiety or if I was actually dying of something......valium sorted me so obviously I was not dying :0)
Today I did some painting, sort of
Darlin is here and has house elfed away and now I have a clean floor and a mowed yard and lots of voucher $$$ to spend on art supplies!!
Woo hoo
That is all for now
xxx
I don't trust it yet though :)
Yesterday afternoon I had an enormous horrible panic attack, just what I needed, for no reason. As you can imagine I was undecided in the midst of it as to whether it actually was anxiety or if I was actually dying of something......valium sorted me so obviously I was not dying :0)
Today I did some painting, sort of
Darlin is here and has house elfed away and now I have a clean floor and a mowed yard and lots of voucher $$$ to spend on art supplies!!
Woo hoo
That is all for now
xxx
Friday, April 03, 2009
ahem
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Hallafriggenluyah!
Hrmph
Ended up back at the doctor today to get results of test yesterday.
Yes, I have a UTI PLUS some other yuckies floating around down there which I will know more about later.
PLUS I have a chest infection too........grrrrr.
No wonder I've been feeling like crap!
So, I am on TWO antibiotics with a possible third coming into play in the next few days.
Mind you, I had to TELL her to check my chest as my telling her I couldn't breathe properly yesterday seemed to fall on deaf ears.
I am sick of whinging about bodily functions now so that is that.
Except to say that I do feel a bit better today :)
I have slept all day so I am boring.
I am hungry so I will go eat lasagne now...and salad too...and maybe chocolate too.....
Then I will sleep again.
I am running out of books to read....
GASP!
Ended up back at the doctor today to get results of test yesterday.
Yes, I have a UTI PLUS some other yuckies floating around down there which I will know more about later.
PLUS I have a chest infection too........grrrrr.
No wonder I've been feeling like crap!
So, I am on TWO antibiotics with a possible third coming into play in the next few days.
Mind you, I had to TELL her to check my chest as my telling her I couldn't breathe properly yesterday seemed to fall on deaf ears.
I am sick of whinging about bodily functions now so that is that.
Except to say that I do feel a bit better today :)
I have slept all day so I am boring.
I am hungry so I will go eat lasagne now...and salad too...and maybe chocolate too.....
Then I will sleep again.
I am running out of books to read....
GASP!
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
a little more
Hello friends
This is my son Joshua, who is in Germany.
I am blessed did you know?
I have received several emails and a parcel from 'strangers' today and yesterday that have lifted my spirits indeed.
It is amazing you know, that here in my house in my little suburb in Australia I can be truly touched by the generosity of people who, though I have never 'met' them, probably know me better in some ways than many whom I do know physically.
Thank you to those of you who have reached out today.
You made a difference!
I have been to the doctor and I do have an infected something in my pelvic area. Something she touched hurt like hell and I feel like shit.
She has tested for a UTI and I am started on an appropriate antibiotic. If it's not that then I will have to go have an ultra sound in a couple of days. I KNEW IT.......grrrrrrrrrrr
Actually, this local doctor is an idiot (seriously, every time I see her she gives me something that makes me sick, today she gave me a script for penicillin which I am allergic to, which I told her the other day, lucky the chemist is smart) and my usual GP is away so if I don't feel any better by tomorrow I will take me to the hospital I think. Better safe than sorry. I need to be well, I have things to bloody do!
Anyway, Tahni, who was due to go to Sydney tonight to do an exam tomorrow, is now staying home so I can stay home, poor kid. I don't want her driving in this rain anyway so it's a good thing really.
That's about it on the home front today. Shelli is home from school (again) and seems a bit brighter. We have an appointment next week with her counselor, who thinks she is probably reacting to all this stress and should be able to get through it. I think that, lovely though her counselor is, she doesn't seem to be doing it for Shelli and it might be time to try someone else. We will see, if I think she is in danger I will take her back to Nexus, though I don't think that is the answer either. But it is safe there. Sort of.
Anyway, that is all. It's still raining here, looks like it will be here for a while.
At least it's not snowing :0)
The day after yesterday
Feeling a bit better today
Have put my wading through the shit goggles back on
Thank you for caring people :)
I also think I may be a bit unwell, am going to the quack again this afternoon to try a different antibiotic and get tested for a UTI...something is amiss....my belly (under my navel) is tender and swollen and I don't feel 100% so poo to that......stupid nurse at the hospital didn't take all the water out when removing my catheter (yes ouch) and maybe that has created a problem???
Can't know.
Am home today anyway, and going back to bed.
YAY
Wild winds and rain here yesterday and last night and it's still wet and miserable today, though the sun is trying to peek through.
Have put my wading through the shit goggles back on
Thank you for caring people :)
I also think I may be a bit unwell, am going to the quack again this afternoon to try a different antibiotic and get tested for a UTI...something is amiss....my belly (under my navel) is tender and swollen and I don't feel 100% so poo to that......stupid nurse at the hospital didn't take all the water out when removing my catheter (yes ouch) and maybe that has created a problem???
Can't know.
Am home today anyway, and going back to bed.
YAY
Wild winds and rain here yesterday and last night and it's still wet and miserable today, though the sun is trying to peek through.
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