Friday, April 30, 2010 IS SO a word!

My my my....

So far I have been blasted out of bed three times, once by coco pops...yeah go figure

I am looking forward to coffee with befri in a place where there are no alarms or phones or cocopop munching maniacs......

My damn cursor is having a spazz attack ths morning and I have 7 million phone calls to continue to procrastinate about sooooooooo......

Have a good one people

Later I shall dig holes for 7 or so posts.....well, I will watch anyway!


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stuff..... I be

Still busy, but in a good way

I have been moving and renovating and painting (walls) and getting my kids settled back in town and other such important things.

I have been loving and being well loved and settling into this new bit of my journey through this life here at earth school.......I think I will like this bit actually, it is starting to feel like I might belong here.

My state of mind has been all over the place for the past few months and quite foggy at times too. My emotions have been numb and also in overdrive and my heart took a step back for a while just to check out the situation and make sure I really wanted to be in it.....and I do, no doubt about that at all. I learned that a part of the grief 'process' is called 'emotional chaos' which I found quite amusing and very apt as I am existing in this state of being about 70% of the time. This is all okay, it is part of the so called process and I am okay with just letting it be and living it till it has passed on to the next bit.

My mother is in the boot of my car at the moment, awaiting a decision being made about what to do with her ashes.

She doesn't mind being there :)

I have moments where I miss her intensely and other hours where I don't think of her at all. I feel okay about that too. My kids are going through their own grieving processes, as are Daniel and my other siblings.

I think the most disconcerting thing is that I am no longer 'needed' in the same desperate way as I have been the past few years. I am adjusting to that. To the knowledge that the world keeps on turning and I don't actually have to be driving it is weird and I don't really know quite what to do with myself.

So, busy is a blessing for now.

I have faith that when the time is right, the next thing will show up. It always does.

Life goes on, inevitably.
My Befri is home from hospital and got better in spite of me not showing up very much......the world also continues to turn, with or without me. Hrmph.......

Council has finally approved the deck and so now the fun begins on a new level on home front. Builders and no back steps and concrete slabs and other such stuff..........sigh

What an adventure life is......I need to remember that!

Sunday, April 25, 2010



I am back online but pretty damn busy.

However, my state of mind tells me that I need to get back to some of the things that keep me grounded and half way sane so, seeings as blogging is one of those things, I guess I will try to find time to do it.....

Besides, I miss you guys.

Watch this space, I will be back soon!


Monday, April 05, 2010


Just in case anyone notices I am gone I am letting you know I will have no internet for anywhere up to a couple of weeks.....moving tomorrow and even my fingers hurt

That is