argh again

Well, another week nearly done

yay

Had to go into the Tenancy Tribunal by myself for the first time yesterday, was very thrilling.

Got the nasty blonde reconcilliation lady who always favors the tenant and treats the agent like a piece of poo...bitchfacemole we will call her.

So, poor shaking tenant who cries (on tap) and has managed to get her rent up to date finally didnt get kicked out and an order to pay rent on time was obtained and an afternoon was wasted again.

Oh well....her lease is up in April and I will take pleasure in kicking her out for no reason if she doesnt pull up her socks in the meantime.

I have turned into an unsympathetic bitchfromhellproperty person :)

Isnt that nice.

Poo

My house smells like dog

Grrr

My daughters are filthy beasts

I went to bed at 7pm last night and slept till 5am!

I need to mow my lawn so the dog will poo on it instead of my verandah! Poor diddums musnt like the grass tickling his bum......GRRRRRR

I think I will buy myself a whippersnipper so I can do it without having to rely on darlin being here as he has the lawn mowing tools permanently installed at his house these days...

My period is coming...for one of the LAST TIMES YAY

I am thinking hysterectomy is a nice word indeedy

In my family on the female side there is a history of misbehaving uteruses (uterii)

so I was only looking forward to years of revolting bleeding and horrible stuff anyway

Better out than in I think

Plus I have had abnormal cervical cells in the past so I think they can have that too

Yes indeed

and if I didnt need my ovaries I would tell em to whip them out too!

Hrmph

Knowing my luck it will happen on my birthday :(

I am boring

It is early

Toodles people

xxx

nips and tucks??

Argh

I am informed by my doctor of the gyneacological variety that the uterus must come out

It just keeps growing and is now the size of a four month pregnancy, and will continue to do so until I become 25 months pregnant with nothing or it falls out my arse, so to speak.

This is why I am constantly peeing, having back pain and not pooing correctly.

I should say, the fibroids attached to my uterus actually.

On the outside, not the inside, where if they were there they could be lasered out, but the outside, which means hysterectomy of not the vaginal kind because it is most likely just too big.

Hmmm

So, sometime in the next 90 days I will be doing this thing

All going according to plan

And then I will be unable to lift or drive for a couple of weeks

Which will require me to need some slaves...yipee

I do get to keep my ovaries

I wont get to have half a month every month bleeding like a stuck pig anymore!

Hmmmm......GOOD!

I wont be able to produce any late in life offspring dammit...heeeeeee

Im sure there are more things I need to know

but that will do for a start

Feeling itchy....

Am pondering the necessity of 'truth'.

Am wondering why we must always question (ahhh ...ironic I know).

Some things just are.

Fullstop.

And no amount of thinking or arguing about them can make them any more explicable or comfortable or justifiable.

Some things just are, and we are'nt meant to know why, or we would.

I find that there are things that I just 'know', like them or not, and that, for me, is 'truth'.

Just a word.

And it just is.

In my experience, these are the things I need to accept, without question, because 'question' just does my head in.

A large lesson I have learnt in this life is that I have no control, over anything really.

Except my own actions.

Note I do not include reactions in this.

What I do defines how comfortable I am in my self.

Each day I have choices about my own comfortability.

And each day there are certain things I choose NOT to engage in because they fuck with my head.

Constantly questioning the 'whys' is one of these things.

Lying to myself is another.

For obvious reasons I would have thought.

Some things just 'are'

and the quicker I get to acceptance, the more peace I have.

That is MY truth...for want of a better word :)

xxxx

swans and other important things

Everyone should go there, it is a MUST SEE website! Co-founded and operated by my favourite daughter, Eugene.

Swans and stuff

Oh for friks sake, yes, hijacked again, but what the hell.....

My dog STINKS.....

grrrrrrrr

Tooooo bloooooody good

Hrumph

Today I had to take K to buy some school shoes

This is generally a nightmare of epic proportions as she hates all shoes and only ever likes a certain type of canvas tennis shoe made in Thailand.....

however all other years have seen us traipsing through every shoe shop on the continent and still coming away empty handed

Not today

Oh no

Walked into the shop, AND it was payless and less than $50, and walked out in 5 mins WITH a pair of school shoes that she LIKED....

I am in shock

Aside from that I have been semi productive in that I have bleached all the used to be white things white again

And sewn up school skirts that needed doing

And thats about it

Energy levels are very low and I still want to sleep for a week

Had a chat to sister while putting her on the plane home yesterday about her needing to get down as much as possible now, for her sake......this was a hitting home unpleasant thing

Tahni is coming home on Wednesday for a couple of days so that is cool too

Back to the orifice for a busy week of crap tomorrow

Mum did have several phone calls in response to ad in the Herald

Have been speaking to lost son in Germany...I sent him chocolate the other week and it cost me $33 postage! To send $10 worth of chocolate and 2 tubes of zit cream....hee hee.....but he is missing chocolate and is too stingey to buy any for himself

So mummy is cool....

Shelli is still intact and not cutting, feeling ok. We will see how she goes back at school hmmm.

She has a boyfriend so that is distracting for her I suppose. Hmmmmm

She also now has her nose pierced on both sides because I am a sucker

Ex husband has bought a house now.....not wasting anytime is he. It does not have a spare room for my girls. They are not impressed much.

I am on auto pilot and that suits me just fine for now

And the beat goes on......la de da di dah

xxxxx

i am back

Did anyone notice I was gone?

It doesnt feel like I was

Not for long enough thats for sure

But it was a nice week

Very lazy

and soooooo frikken hot driving back yesterday with no air con...I thought I was going to melt

So, now I am here again

And nothing has changed

They all had a nice week together.

Mum has a swollen up left foot and is feeling more breathless

Little brother bought a house yesterday!

Almost 22 and a house owner/payerfor.....I am driven to compare childhoods here and ponder on the fact that we did come from the same parent.....hmmmm

Its nice and cool this morning but I am hoping for some sun today, I have 47 loads of washing to do!

Thats about it folks, I am boring

blah

xx

AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

FRIK

The day from hell it was

Nuff said about that!

I am packed, car is packed, I am brown because I cheated, I am going to mums for curry

And in the morning

I AM GONE

phew

Hooo bloooodyyyyy rooooooooo

frik

Seems I have some new pets

A few of them

We will call them mozzies shall we

they like to wake me up all night and so I wake puppyson up all night who then would like to go out and do wees and poos and things please

Pet mozzies are no fun and they bite

I will be killing them all tonight and also shutting the screen door too

I have been up since 4frikken AM and I dont have any bloody babies!

On a good pet note, since doing the carpets with Nil Odour in the machine on Sunday I have had NOT ONE SINGLE wee inside, or poo....how good is that. Puppyson is also having to get used to being outside on his own for several hours a day...he does not like this but I tell him it is a real world here dog!

I also tip a jug of water on his head from the balcony if he gets too loud with his protests.

He doesnt like that either.......:)

I will be hiring a Citronella spraying bark collar device if he keeps it up but he is getting better so this may not be necessary......he definately wouldnt like that

Enough of animals

2 days till I go away!

I am not even organised one little bit

Lucky darlin has got the camping things out and they are ready to go

I will pack some stuff tonight I spose and must stock cupboards with kid and pet fodder so sister doesnt know how slack I am...

In light of yesterdays visit to the hospital I am aware that this may be my only time out for some time to come so I will be doing lots of nothing....

I am a bit numb on that one I think, or else just accepting, or maybe a bit of both. Lets face it, its been coming for the last year hasn't it. I would like a bit more information and something resembling a time frame but I cant see me getting one. I keep getting 6 months.....frik

You know, besides the obvious stuff, the hardest thing is going to be helping my little brother deal with it all. He is only 22 for gods sake. He is supposed to have his mum around for a lot longer than this.

That man has not come back to us about buying the business. I think they (the other agents around here) are all just playing vulture and waiting for the rentals to be floating around in thin air to be picked up. Well, that wont bloody happen if I can help it. Mum will give it to me. And then I will do what? argh

Not worrying about that just yet. If I had time to get my RE License I would but I am only one person here....I would need to hire someone with a license to make it legal and would that make it worth it for me? Possibly. Hmmmm

But that is projecting too far and is only a possibility.

Rather that than let mums years of hard slog go to the carrion eaters!

Grrrrr

Anyway, its now 6am and I should be getting up!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Short update

Mums tumor level markers went from 20 in Sept to 50 now

They were 44 just before she had surgery

So we are back to that square now

Having a CAT scan and a review in 6 weeks from now

They will discuss chemo then if they feel its necessary or useful

She got a shock

I didn't......

AAARRRGGGHHH

Kayla hacked my blog!!

grrrrrrrrrr

God i am such a crab and my daughter kayla is so much better than me god bless her

blahblahblah

Hmmmm

Am feeling slighlty better this morning after a huge blast of darlin' energy last night ( and a foot massage and a back tickle:0)....I can only handle his 'touch', healing wise, for a few minutes and then my head spins and I want to vomit

Sounds awful doesnt it.....he is very strong in that regard though and for some reason, these days I cant handle ANYONE giving me a healing, so to last a couple of minutes was a good thing. I think?

Usually I just say no but something wanted me to so I did

Its a vibration thing, I know, and not anyones negativity or 'fault'.

Just me not needing to be 'touched' that way...

Oh poo, Lisa will know what I mean...

Suffice it to say that during ascension strange things happen that render 'old' modalities useless and sometimes harmful to some, okay? My truth only.

Anyway, am still going to quack to get anti biotics today, and to get a Kayla script, and a mum script, and then a shelli counselling......ah these are the days of my life etc etc poooooooo

I am a treadmill hornbag by the way...under the inch(es) of flab there are the beginnings of buns and thighs of steel I tell you......poooo

Am tired and need to pee

But there are worse things to be for sure

Facing the day with a smile

Its good for the turkey neck

xxx

boo hoo

I think I have a UTI

Does this entail bloated sore to touch belly, very frequent peeing, slightly green pee, feverish, headachy.......sob

I havent had one for years so dont really remember but I am thinking this is what it is

Will go to quack tomorrow anyway so will check it out then

Its been a long day that has gone really fast, I know that didnt make sense but there you go

I wonder if my Joshua reads my blog??

If you do kiddo, I miss you :0)

Busy week this week

The biggest one is mums oncology appointment on Wednesday

She is whinging and bitching because she is scared

me too....

oh well

On with it yes?

well well wellllll

Looky looky

Ive been painting

Just some littlies to play with

Wonders will never cease




And I have cleaned the carpets

With some help from Dobby House Elf

and Dobby has mown the lawn

And the dog is clean and schmick and naughty

And we started the quilt

AND I put my clothes away

Some day off......

This is my little alter





And this is my goddess type thingy who's tits blew off in the firing so I stuck em back on


So

Now I am stuffed

Dobby is stuffed

We had garlic prawns for dinner

so we stink

and its time for bed

And that my dears, is that

oh yes, AND I changed the dead light bulbs that have been driving me nuts for months

phew

xxxxxx

FrFkSk!!

I like playing Wordscraper

It keeps me amused and sane

Why the frik would someone go on the computer to play a WORD game and think he will pick up a chicky to watch him have sex with himself on webcam???

Do people do this crap??

People are weird for sure

Hrmph

My house is a little cleaner looking now after a vigorous attack with Victor the Vacc and Mouldy the Mop

Wilfred Washing Machine has been given a seeing to as well.

Unfortunatley Michelle the Maid isnt playing and wont put any of her clothes away

Ho farkin hum

But I am a hit on facebook for sure

people want to have virtual sex with me

and other ones just like my work

Too blooody goooooddddd




Wishing Helen a nice evening

:)

Looking forward

I am looking forward to the day when I write a meaningful post again

It may be a while coming however

As the conversations I have with me in my head these days dont quite ever make it out through my fingers

I am also looking forward to being inspired again one day

I have prepared a canvas

It is sitting there staring at me and has been for weeks

Everytime I go to do something with it, I stop, unable to formulate an idea that is floating somewhere beyond my reach for now

I would normally say to someone else, "just start", but I cant, not yet, not just for the sake of it

Hmmmm

I know I am in here somewhere

Im just not quite sure who "I" is right now

That same me yes, but wait there's more.....

For now its like I am just floating along, doing the days as they come, with no particular enthusiasm or meaning, just doing......

And that, in spite of how that may sound to you, is quite okay with me, weird yes, but okay too

I do feel that I am actually just where I am supposed to be and that the floating is necessary

I will know when its time to swim

and its not yet

I do not question why, that would just drive me insane

Its okay for now

And that is all really

So, I distract myself with silly things, just to keep me awake some days

I think in short bursts

I 'do' the stuff that needs to be 'done'

Its all an illusion you know

This life

The trick is to see through it and begin to grasp the importance of nothing

and just enjoy the 'whatever' as it comes

For now
Remember this??? I almost forgot.....


xxxx

Random stuff just because...

The dreaded T - word

Darlin's xmas pressie....noice

Blue stuff I like

Bastard puppy son pretending to be oh so cute
(note the kitty litter spread all around)

Does my sisters arse look big in this????

...because real life is boring sometimes.

WTF

Its only Wednesday

How can that be

Feels like it should be Saturday at least

I am bored again

Going to be a stinker today people

Stay inside

xxx

bloody

Imagine walking up my driveway for 15 minutes people

Those of you who have seen it will know what I mean

Well, I just did it on the T-word and you know what

It burned 16 calories???

Frik that said I

So I had an iceblock to get them back

My legs hurt

In a good kind of way

Hmmmm

Im bored

and tired

frikken tenant bitch from hell

Am going to peruse the Ascension Guide

and go to bed

Sounds like a plan

Just dropped Shelli and friend down at the swimming hole thing

It is dark and they are mad but what the hell

You are only 15 once

Lucky that

xxx

groan....not really :)

Gawd

Walking is really good exercise you know?

10 minutes going up an incline at 3 km's an hour has me pooped

How embarrassing

This machine will be our friend

We will love it and feed it and ....

oh dear

I AM NOT OBSESSIVE

Pah

So, I will have skinny leags and love handles??

Better fix that

But how?

Ok I will shut up

So, what do you want to talk about??

well well well

It seems that centrelink are my friend

They have given me Carer Payment

I suppose me caring for 3 people 38 hours a day saves the government quite a bit really

I also got a bonus backpay for some strange reason but I will not argue about it oh no

Mind you, they are only paying for my care of 2 people but what the heck, fair is fair, I didnt expect it for K, she is ok on the anti depressant thank frik

so

We can eat now AND have the internet

I am grateful

My treadmill finally came

Its a beauty

I used it for 15 minutes and am half dead

So fit!

That will change

It does hills and everything

I dont do hills very well

hmmm

My arse is getting smaller already from fear of the treadmill

and spray tans only cost $30....apparently they dont do any shades of orange either, damn

so pleased I am

Its rather hot

and will be hotter tomorrow

and hotter still on Wednesday

wont that be pleasant

You guys are not blogging enough I must say

Up the anti people

or is that ante????

Muggle where is that sprinkler? I want to bury my dog under it...

xxxx

does my bum look big in this??

YES IT BLOODY DOES

BECAUSE IT BLOODY IS

ahem

the swimwear shop I mentioned in my earlier post does not exist

I know this because I spent all day looking for it today

I have bought some swimmers

I will lose 5 kilos in 2 weeks

and someone tell me a magic cellulite makergoawayer please

NOW

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh well

I am old and have produced 4 kids

and am lazy

and eat too much crap

I have decided that a spray tan before I go will be a good idea

At least a tan helps disguise a wobbly gigantic pitted arse a bit

I hope

:0(

Lucky I own lots of sarongs

BTW

DJ's have nice swimmers but even on sale they are rather expensive

I will now lose weight because I cant afford to eat!

Hah

oh to be a stalker

Well, Saturday work is done

I am a busy beaverish type person

Or was

Now I am a trackydakked type dag

Gotta love tenants who move in somewhere to escape beating boyfriends only to ask to move out so you sign up a new tenant and then tenant decides they dont want to move out 2 days before they are due to be gone and then SEND THEIR THUGS BOYFRIENDS DOWN to THREATEN YOU.....told you my job was dangerous!

Lucky I had my 5 foot tall mother who has cancer there to tell him to piss off....tough lady my mum

Shelli and I are alone at home. She, btw, is doing quite well this week. Seems to have settled right down. Phew for now. She also thinks she has secrets but I know better

This is because I am psychic and was also 15 many centuries ago.

Hmmmmm

I am bored....whinge whinge

See what happens when you arent exhausted...grrrrr

I tried on all my swimmers and they all tell me my arse is far too fat and my thighs are not pretty....GRRRR

I am going to go find a swimmmers shop who specialise in making fat arses look good!

I may have to go to another country of course, one where fat arses are the in thing, but hey, whatever...

I have purchased a treadmill did I tell you?

A superdooper thing that I will be paying off for the next 10 years but its worth it I figure

My girls need daily walking, depression needs daily walking, as do giant fat arses, and so walk we shall....it comes on Monday and by next Monday I will tell you how slim my FA is now okay.

Yes indeed I will

I will be taking all my pants up very soon
\Ahem

Am also going to investigate one of those WII things that people are raving about. Not so much for me, I know my laziness has no limit, but the girls want to lose weight, and need to really, so whatever it takes yes?

Time for action here

Enough of fatness

You know my little hideously expensive fluffball kitten? Well, it is the nicest little cat we have ever had. She is so cute and friendly. Im sure she thinks she is a puppy....

I am reaching for things to say here....

Ummmmm

Oh yes, not to stress muggle, beloved was not here.....promise

Neither was Fat Bastard mary, just in case you went there.....

Oh fine

Im going

Good bye

Pah!

hee hee

Started off the new year with a bang

Realised consequently that I forgot sex is better than valium

But enough of that.....

Month end was hell today but gotten through

I am tired but not woeful

Have just eaten pork chop with much salad and am now going to balance it out with a Magnum

Because life's like that

Then I am going to bed

Because I can

Finding gratitude that the day after tomorrow is Sunday

It also costs nothing to be polite. I must remind some of my tenants that I am just doing a JOB not trying to ruin their life

and start checking my car for explosive devices

:0)

Knobheaded self

Revise....I will revise my doom and gloom post

Probably because today is the first day I have felt human in weeks

Never mind that its back to orifice tomorrow

It IS a New Year!!

This year I will

• try to keep it very simple
• find gratitude more often
• enjoy the time I get with my mother and be grateful I am able to be here
• NOT kill any tenants
• Train my wayward puppyson
• Be firm with my daughter but love her warts and all

That will do.

I will also be having an open house barbeque type gathering when I come back from Hat Head, where I AM going regardless of whether the arse falls out of the world!

And you will hopefully all come, those of you who are within driving distance

Even WW should be finished CCing by then yes?

Negativity will get me nowwhere....I must get more rest or I will go mad

I will try!

Love you guys

xxxxxx