and the point is??

• I have dye in my hair, it stinks and thats because its full of chemicals and I am old!
• I have lines on my face and that is because I have 4 children and I am OLD
• I have put on far too much weight and my pants are very short and I must wear a skirt to mummy's orifice (?) and that is because I am OLD
• and quite possibly LAZY
• The fact is, I am not young anymore, but I am not old either, I am in the place where it only gets worse from here
• aaaarrrrggghhhh

NOT TRUE

• It only gets worse if I look at it that way

• I can do something about everything that bothers me about myself!

....with the possible exception of stopping the grey hair from breeding that is....thank goodness for Loreal!

• I am actually enjoying my life, warts and all, at this point in time.

• Everything I am experiencing, I have created.

• If I want it to be different then I can change it!

Magick!

Now, if I could only stop eating too much chocolate and smoking I would probably have the energy to move so my pants got longer.

Am seriously considering a quit date here...

What should go first?

The ciggy's or the chocolate?


gulp

LATER ON

I have just had to squeeze myself into a pair of lycra gut busting tights/stockings/pantyhose
that 6 months ago would have been too big

Not happy Jan!

Did you know I have an aunty called Jan?

She is a very strange woman.

Must run in the family....

Must go and force unbendable (due to lycra) body into small car and try not to slide off the seat whilst hoofing it all the way to woopwoop to do much work for toilet paper!

yawn........

Well, the day is at an end.

Excellent

I am bushed...

I have managed to completely screw up everything I tried to do at mums office today...well, not completely but you get my drift...if I wasn't working for nothing I would be sacked for sure.....

Actually, I have recieved a box of chocolate nuts left over from christmas and a roll of toilet paper so I'm not working for nothing really!

Anyway the amount of paper and envelopes I wasted today probably amounts to the wage of someone somewhere doing something!

Its quite amazing the amount of abuse some people give real estate agents...no wonder she's a bit stroppy (hah!) at times.......

This week, for my circle subject, I am to be walking in my truth, recognising what is and isn't truth, and if it isn't then labelling the fear behind it....

Oh oh

Did I tell you I was buggered?

Well, i am, so I'm going to bed

Got tommorrow to myself though.....

so far!

night...

Better watch out.....

something completely different!

A group of kindergardeners were trying very hard to become
accustomed to the first grade.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher
insisted on NO baby talk!

"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

"I took a ride on a choo choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.

You must remember to use 'Big People' words."

She then asked little Alec what he had done.

"I read a book," he replied.!

" That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with
great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

oh dear...

So, should we hate ourselves because of the way we look?

A mary has left a comment about herself and her perception of her body that hit me in the face.

Her body, by the way, is not herself.

We all seem to be suffering from a social opinion here, when it comes to our bodies, dont we.

I have to ask, and dont shoot me okay, I'm having an opinion here that is based on my own truth

...is it your truth or your opinion that you think you are fat and that fat is gross. Is it really yours or is it based on the opinion of a whole lot of blood sucking money leeches who run the fashion industry?
Where is this truth based?
How many 'skinny' women do you actually know, who are above age 18, and have had several children?
The truly skinny women that I have known were not happy with their bodies either, they wanted to be bigger.
If you know some then are they just naturally this stunning or do they work on it?
And where do they find the time?
How many women do you know who are happy with their bodies, having based their self image on the twiggy's and kate mosses of this world?
How many fashion shows include the 'average woman'?
So, what is this opinion based on?
CONJECTURE and some elses opinion!
If we look inside to our own truth, we will find that so much of our supposed self image is based on some imaginary and fictional 'ideal' that does not suit the real world that we occupy everyday.
Fat is not gross.
Its unhealthy.
If we are loving ourselves then we will be gentle and rather than punish us we will nurture us with kindness and good food and other such healthy and weight reducing things. Because we are worth it, not because we are disgusting.
My point in all this is just this.
Why are we unhappy with ourselves?
Is it about us, or them?
If we are doing it for us then good, if not, then why?
That is all...........

in my opinion......

Hello my little world,

I am still here

I am still tired

hmmmm

I have been practising, or trying to, not having an opinion this week.

Hmmm again

The place that I have ended up with this is here

"an opinion is something I have when I do not know the truth"

Interesting huh.

After much deliberation and realising that I have 'opinions' on EVERYTHING, I finally realised, after sprouting off at group this afternoon, that I am actually allowed to have an opinion, I just have to realise and acknowledge that it is only that, an opinion.

If I know something in my heart, then it is my TRUTH, not my opinion, if I don't know, and if it is about another then how can I really KNOW, then it is an opinion and should not be built on.

So, I have my TRUTH, which is about me and no one else OR my OPINION which is purely conjecture at any point, unless it is about me, and then it may become my truth.

That is why it is SO important that I be HONEST with myself.

Are you following me?

So, my opinion doesn't matter, to me or to anyone else, as in all honesty, I am just guessing. If someone else has an opinion of me, then they are just guessing too, and its none of my business what they think.

If they need to know the TRUTH, then they can ask me and I will give them mine, as long as its about me, because the truth about someone else is only known to them and they will only share as much as they are able to at that point in time.

Making sense??

I cannot do someone elses thinking for them and they cannot do mine.

I cannot 'do' someone elses life for them, and they cannot do mine.

I cannot help another unless they have asked me too.

If I tell another only what I think they need to hear then I am thinking for them and may be witholding a vital piece of missing information from them.

They cannot help me unless I allow it and step up to the plate to 'play the game'.

And it is a game, this life we live, and we are the pieces who move ourselves around.

Its totally up to us where we land.

Think about it.........

without having an opinion!

Now...

does my bum look big in this?

interesting stuff

Some of you might find this interesting

http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/latest.htm


Have a good day~!

update...

Ah well......

I did lose my resentment pretty quick while watching my little girl have huge needles in her gum and getting her tooth ripped out by the roots.

Somehow, seeing your child like that makes all the pain in the arse stuff irrelevent doesn't it.

She is now minus a tooth....no residual pain thank goodness

Awaiting seperators and then a brace for her top teeth.....

All because of one little extra tooth!

Maybe she is really a shark??

Tommorrow is another day.......

AND the uniform dried without electric help....lucky for she who would have had to wear it wet!

phew!

grrrrr...

Thursday. Yes, its Thursday. The day I was supposed to be having at home, to myself, in peace and getting some work done.

So.....after being coerced into driving smallest child to school due to rain and general sogginess I have since recieved a call from the dentist changing her appointment to 12 today thereby necessitating me to make copious phone calls to said school to arrange early picking up of said child and then recieving reverse charge phone call from bloody child whinging about said arrangements and yelling at it about some things being out of my control and all the rest of that crap.

So, there goes my peace, any possibility of sneaking back to bed and Im really looking forward to an afternoon spent with a resentful 13 yr old missing a tooth, probably in pain.........................................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh

GRRRRRRR.....

not a good mother am I

I also dislike children who are told to wash their work uniform yesterday and who present it to me this morning, filthy, and not clean, and expecting it to dry today on this soggy-est day, when I have not yet acquired a dryer or a goddamn heater to dry it with.

Patience is a virtue yes??

Where can I buy some???

trials and tribulations.....or.....war and peace......or......much ado about nothing

I tried to take a photo of the moon last night...she wouldn't stay still!!

I have so many things to do and don't know where to start.....gawd

Will eventually get to the place of accepting that it won't all get done at once, or even at all, and start somewhere, as I do....

I think I am commissioned for a painting....good stuff

I have no material for a portfolio or an exhibition and I need to do some work and now I have committed to my mother and have less time than I did I will probably focus better and work betterer under pressure, as I do...

At least I hope so!

If I could just make up my mind what it is that I actually want to focus on this would help greatly!

Oh dear me...

and I had better get cracking on Glorias painting or I will not be popular!

The canvas is so white...and so BIG..... and so white.....

Just to mention poo, for Kristy's sake, I will tell you that sticky date pudding is not called such a name for nothing and would give Laxettes a run for their money....perhaps Ruby should try some???

Note to self.....go see Captain TODAY and organise sieve head a touch! How does one spell sieve? Seive??? ie: Thing with holes in that other things fall through......

ramble ramble blurt etc

If I could think of a way to mention Fabbo, poo and pussy strangling all in one post I would be the champ.......

must go eat breakfast for energy to do what must be done......muesli with banana on methinks......

FABBO!!!

not here

I am officially wagging blogging today

Its been a good one though

see ya!

proof of the pudding

Here is proof.

Yes, some children do grow up and then become human beings and stand together in the kitchen cooking sticky date pudding......

yay

note darlin' looking shocked in the background!

ramble on macduff....

Is there nobody else out there who had to get up at 6 am on this fine and freezing sunday morning to wake up children who needed to be places??

I am wondering why I, the mother of some very large teenage children, am doing this??

I shall be investing in some alarm clocks forthwith!

One each and a spare for sure

Plurgh

Also, one should not be quite so chipper at said hour of the morning when forced to be awake.....

therefore...

I must be a master now!

ha ha

I do know that I had a dream that seemed to go all night and be a storyline that made sense and featured 'people' who were not born on this planet and I was one of them......don't remember anything else.....hmmmm

Did I really agree to go work for my mother??

For nothing??

oh dear.........



several hours later.....

I have figured out that it is okay for me to help mum out....I mean it feels okay....because, in this instance, I am doing the favour, for want of a better word, and am not the recipient of her 'help'.

I have learnt that my mothers love and help come with huge conditions attached and that by accepting anything from her, beyond a birthday present or some such thing, I actually allow an 'energy cord' to be put in place, whereby, she can suck the life out of me!!!

It is quite yuck and not good for me....

However, in this instance, I am the one giving aid, and so it's okay.

More than okay...its a balance redress....if that makes sense...??????

see ya

I am made...

Today has been a very good day.

I am made a master by a master master maker!

I am so blessed to have her in my life, truly I am.

...and you, all of you

Four times this week I have been told I am a blessing in someones life, numerous times I am told that I am beautiful and you know what!

Today I believe it!

I have recieved my reiki 3 today and somehow it feels like I have come home

Its very peaceful inside me tonight

and grateful

nice

I am healed of a tight head too!

Which turns out to be a nasty red band of inferiority that I needed to lose big time!

Excellent

I have a new, well, not new, guide who has been waiting for a while to step in

Welcome Amity, who I have known as Ahmethi, I think.....

On to other, less excitng stuff.......

My mother rang me today, her business is going down the tubes and life is hard, impossible, without help for her.....so.....I am going to work for her some days a week, for nothing, as a good and grateful to be born daughter does when the shit hits the fan. What can you do.....

It will certainly release some karma for me!

I hope.......

I am very tired again

but for good reasons today

I am a MASTER

of course!

Love you XXX

the rest.......

Oh my gawd, oh my gawd, oh my gawd

Sooooo very stuffed am I

My feet hurt

My knees hurt

My brain hurts

Long day at school

Short night of sleep

(bloody Tatiana and Alexander and the same bloody story all
over again but no real bonking)

Gosh

Tommorrow I shall be healed of a tight head

and become a reiki master too!!

No toxins she said...

I WANT CHOCOLATE AND I AM HAVING SOME

I will have no meat and no bread instead

okay???

I did a very noice self portrait today that looks like someone else



hmmmmm

I meant to type noice!

I am going to stare at the wall now

bye XXX

what the.....

Something strange is happening

Whenever and wherever I go to click on Kristy's blog, Snake and Whimsy comes up instead.....

Why?

Wha?????

Is this happening to you????????????

what is.....

What does it take to be a Master?
The truth is that we already are. A few thoughts from Dr. Meg.

A Master has accepted him or herself as who and

what they are.

A Master has humbly accepted his or her assignments

within their journey with no strings attached, no what ifs and no

looking back to the past.

A Master embodies the Living Truth with no drama,

no trauma, in every moment that they are.

A Master embodies personal integrity.

This doesn't mean how honest we are in the world,

but how honest we are with ourselves.

Self deception is one of the greatest causes of fear.

We can tell if we are in personal integrity if how we

feel on the inside matches what we experience on the outside.

A Master not only has learned to give, but to receive,

having given him or herself value of equal measure

across the board.

A Master embodies love instead of practicing it as an

ideal or an idea.

A Master is able to find compassion for everyone including

him or herself.

A Master is everything that a Master teaches and is always

aware that there is more to learn.

A Master knows no comparison of experience.

Each is on a perfect path to what his or her soul seeks.

A Master embraces all that he or she is faced with without fear,

instead, with a full heart and of his or her wholeness.

A Master sleeps well at night, knowing that he or she has done

their very best in any given situation throughout the day

and that's all her or she could have done.

A Master Knows there are no mistakes, only opportunities

to change direction or to learn something, and then rather

than beating him or herself up for it, can laugh at the humanity

of it and go on to the next thing without dragging what was

behind them.

A Master looks to no one for approval, but is open to everyone

to share what he or she has and accepting to new avenues of

thought and the wisdom others have gained.

After all, we all have a piece of the puzzle.

A Master basks not in ego, but in humility and wonder

at the scope of the infinite.

A Master never feels as if he or she has learned it all because

that is impossible except as a body of Light when we are

encompassed within the light of the source.

A Master carries that Light everywhere he or she goes

without judgment or attachment to outcome, after all,

once it is shared, it will grow according to the choices others make.

A Master goes with the flow, allowing him or herself to regenerate,

honoring that which he or she needs to be at their peak potential,

for if one is truly within the flow, one gets as much as one gives.

A Master needs no words such as these to convey the simplicity

of the apparent complexity of what is.

It just is.

A Master is love, on Earth and everywhere beyond.

(©Meg Blackburn Losey, Ph.D. and Spirit Light Resources,

2007 all rights reserved)

another day....

• I am very tired
• I am also very good, have been eating much fruit and only nominal bad stuff
• Must remember to drink water
• Haven't heard back from art people, oh well
• It's very cold this morning, must be winter
• I just ate BREAKFAST!! This is not a usual thing.......
  
• Haven't got anything interesting to say so I will return when I do
• Am going back to bed because today is one of those days when I actually CAN.....I am taking Alexander and Tatiana with me....note to self: moderation in all things including reading
  

plus....

Today I have eaten fresh fruit and veg, no carbs or chocolate and not walked or drank water.

Hey, you gotta start somewhere........

I am very good......

and quite hungry!!!

But I haven't had dinner yet so this will change....

I will beat you all to a skinny a pulp!

I hereby retract that last sentence in the interests of being able to eat chocolate sometimes when I really feel like it and also to keep friends who I like a lot.........

Today.....

My goodness.

I didn't post yesterday....must of been all that bloody chocolate maltezer cake I ate.....

I'm afraid it made me ill, too much, too much.

In fact my body has informed that it is sick of my blatant disregard for its needs just lately and that it is on strike and so watch out....oh dear

Time to be good

Bugger it all

Fruit and veg here we come, and juice, and water and walking, well, lets not go overboard here, gosh!

So, I have dropped off my painting to be considered for entry into the emerging artists prize, we shall see what happens.....

I am dropping off 3 small tiny little (you get the point) other works for hanging in a miniatures exhibition at Greenways Gallery at Morpeth next week....go buy one, or three, they are nice, abstract landscape type things......actually they are probably not as tiny as they should be.....oh well.

Agent Elf has made enquiries into a small showing of my work at Sunny's Cafe also...have to go check it out this week

I am working on two other paintings right now and have 5 pieces of stretched paper waiting for colours etc to go on them....

I'm on FIRE...

he he

I have decided to do a body of work that is intended for prints to be made from, for sale at much cheaper prices than an original and shall now proceed to get very very rich thank you very much...

I have developed an interesting tourette's syndrome type twitch in my typing fingers (I say fingerS loosely) that requires me to type at high speeds and then spend 10 minutes going back making things legible....almost a stutter of the hands....must have caught it from a mary somewhere...

In order to be serious and meaningful I will tell you that I am working my way into my power, I am practicing expecting good things for me and speaking my absolute truth to those who I feel it appropriate to speak such things to.

This is an interesting process and requires some thought and consideration for others as well as myself. Don't want to hurt anyones feelings but don't want to hurt me either. And not to speak my truth where appropriate does indeed hurt me in the long run.

Sometimes a few well said words can save one years of resentment, trust me.....

Also note that to speak ones truth also requires an exceptance of the possibilty of being wrong and that it is okay to be wrong, in order to make things right.

Balance again

plurghel

Just for today I hand my will and my life over to the care of god, as I understand god to be, and trust that all will be as it should.

One step forward into the void

One day at a time

Love you xx

noice...

"Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim grey sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances,
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.

Come away, O human child!
To the waters of the wild
With a faery hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand."

~W.B Yeats

Oh dear...

I think I have caught jacqui's runny nose and hypo-ness

Have been running around my house all day doing 4 paintings at once and wiping nose in between times and Not cleaning anything.....

Have also done ALL dirty washing and have a linen cupboard FULL of DRY towels that are not mouldy yet........

In between painting, wiping runny nose and washing hysterically I have been leaving evil comments on everyones blogs and have decided that you are all BORING except for Jacqui who is as mad as me on account of I caught it from her...

I have never typed this fast in my life (with two fingers and one thumb as is my style)

Elf and maryjen are TOOOOO boring and will not play with us....poo to them *I say very loudly whilst doing handstands*

AAARRRRGGGGHHHH SOMEBODY STOOOPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Darlin' just caught me dancing around the kitchen singing 'every simpson dance now' whilst doing the jingle jangle scarecrow movements for Hairball son who has also caught hypo bug but was lucky enough to be sitting down at the time.....most embarrassing

Kayla is ecstatic that she has a diet partner and keeps asking me to EXERCISE with her...stupid child...as if!

I am now going to eat my dinner, paint some more, have a bath and collapse into bed eventually, probably foaming at the mouth....or nose, whatever

Gosh, I wish someone would clean out the kitty litter, it really stinks in here............phew!

Have also decided that I am no longer called 'someone'.

Have a good sleep people!

someone feed that bloody cat......

Lilith is a strange cat.
She likes to drink out of interesting bowls, bit like we do when we fuss about our mugs and teacups etc.
She doesn,t like to eat fish......
hmmmm...

I do not know why blogger is underlining my words for me but I want it to stop NOW

Be very careful

I am watching you...........

The next door neighbours have just turned their radio on VERY LOUD....

that should get darlin' out of bed quick smart

oh dear...

Does anyone have an exercise bike or walking machine they want to sell??

The sun is out, I must go wash things immediately before it changes its mind
and spits water on me..........

Back later....

bet you all wish you were painting nice things right now!

*sticks tongue out and laughs maniacally*

cancelled....

Sundays Arty Farty workshop is now

CANCELLED

due to lack of interested people.

Thats okay, I will stay home and paint anyway.....

and see you guys at lunch on monday hopefully!

Reason, Season, Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet
a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

where my head is at...part two

Tonight I am tired, so very tired indeed.

I am only writing this to keep me awake for one more half hour till I pick Kayla up from HP shift....

Then my head will be at the pillow and hopefully not snoring loudly, definately sleeping, not traveling the multiverse as I am pretty damn sure it was last night for me to have woken up so veeerrryyyyy tired after 7 hours so-called sleep

Good bloody night!

I did go to school today...eventually.... and I now have an agent.... (heh)....her name is Agent Mary Elf Macperson and she is relentless! But that is a story for another day........

oh yes, fruit and nuts ARE good for you right??

even if they are wrapped in chocolate????

most excellent!

xXx

where my head is at....

I think what I am painting is/are aspects of me lots of the time......

My bum is bigger than that though!

All I have in my head regarding exhibition material is "into the blue"......

We shall see....

This is done I think.

Exploring Your Creativity

A new weekly spiritual based art class will be starting on Monday the
14th of May at Rose Cottage, for those who are interested.
This class will be a non confrontational chance to explore your creative potential.
We ALL have it.
We ALL need to use it.
Come along and have some fun with colour, no experience or skill required!
This class will be an opportunity for you to explore your innate creativity using methods such as painting, pastels, collage and sculpture.
Subjects will run on a monthly basis with projects sometimes carrying on over several weeks.
Bring your ideas and your sense of adventure along!

Cost will be $20 up front to cover a months worth of materials and then $10 per class attended

Rose Cottage

Each Monday morning
9.30 – 12.00

Let me know if you would like to come!

almost there...

anzac day at my place

Am over yesterdays snit....

mostly

Am painting and reading and staring into space, sometimes all at once

Am looking forward to coffee tommorrow even if elf can't bloody come

I need to borrow a trailer if anyone has one.....someone has given me a fridge but I need to pick it up from Lemon Tree Passage.....excellent for free fridge, poo for location......

I shall most likely be purchasing a dryer from the Captain soon...excellent dry captains for sure....just must convince darlin' that 'not mouldy' towels will make up for rise in power bill

Am contemplating forgiveness and its vital importance in the way of all things concerned with spiritual growth....it is essential in fact....for others and most importantly for oneself

Am trying not to be resentful of lack of space to be alone in......

Ummmm, thats about as cerebral as it gets for me today folks.....

Now.....

back to painting

did you know....

That its raining?

Well, it is, lots

Did you also know that if you don't wash your car for long enough it will eventually pee down and wash it for you......excellent

Did you know that Rubysmum is getting hitched??

I did!

Or that Hairball sons have no bloody idea about real life and get a shock when they have to go and do 3 week courses to get a job at Coles??

Or that I am mighty mighty sick of being at home all day with people and not being able to find time to get in the 'space' (oh for my own space whats not in the middle of the house) to paint or whatever else I feel like doing.........aaaaarggghhh. In fact, it makes me want to punch something very hard or else go to bed..............hmmm

That its still raining and I have wet things and no drier.

Plurgh

whinge bitch grumble etc etc etc

AND

Its Tahni's birthday today and she's in bloody Sydney with the Catholics!!!

and thats that then isn't it.....

Well, I have survived the day

It wasn't all that bad once I sorted out the stupid school office lady and got her to comprehend what it actually was that I needed her to write in a 5 sentence letter, I only had to tell her 7 times and then dictate type and print it off myself.......then wait an hour or so for the principle to come back from wherever principles go to on pupil free days to sign it...

Was in centrelink by 11...

and out by 12.15!!

Pleasant suprise yes, as was the friendly helpful service by two seperate ladies......score!

Hairball has an appointment at 10 am tommorrow with the job network place and cannot quite comprehend why he has to look for work and prove it so mummy can take all his money and feed him with it......

tough titties say I....

Have taken smallest but not quietest child for a fringe cut and now have a young cleopatra on my hands......I know she goes to school and puts mascara and eyeliner on and then takes it off before coming home...she knows I know...and yet it still happens this way. This child has not yet reached 'monthlies' and has nipples but not breasts.....this will change shortly however, I can tell......maybe I will buy her a mascara with her first packet of pads.

Such a different girl from my other two is she......no boys Lowes shorts and footy jumpers for this little chicky I tell you....damn

Hmmmm, what else

...am cooking dinner as we speak and have just dropped working child at HP for her 2nd shift...she says its very boring and that she wants to go and live with tahni where she gets paid $14 an hour for having fun and only has to bow to Jesus if she wants to!!

I tried to charge her $5.60 for her lunch this morning and she laughed at me!!

I was serious........

hee hee

Life is amusing in my mind at times

I am tired and feel a bit crookish, my nose head hole is infected from the 9 ct dragonfly stud and I boiled it and all! Have put the old one back in and will leave it for a while to heal. My sister says she can't wear 9 ct in hers as it gets infected and has to wear 18 ct.....better start saving then.

Have eaten too much today, not walked anywhere except, well, nowhere really and am not being a good goal orientated mary today....

Well, it IS raining......

monbloodyday

Today I am off to centrelink to sort out my errant hairball son

I am not impressed and should be back around lunchtime on friday

grrrrr........

bugger

Oh dear......

I have weighed myself today (big mistake) and am definately more than I want to be

I want to lose 10 kilos I think, at least 7, before my jeans all split up the backside or I must go buy some more and waste perfectly good jeans that I already own

I think I will start that this week for sure

I shall walk with my kayla yes?

Poo

Does that mean no more chocolate?

10 things you may not know about me

1. My dad is a pom. From Kent. In England. Der. He came to Australia when he was 18 to go to uni and become an architect and buy an e-type jag, met my mother and got me instead. Now he is a draughtsman and lives in Perth.......that makes me half a pom and half a goodness knows what
   
2. My mother had me when she was just 17 years old, and 3 of us before she was 20
   
3. I had my first child at age 18, just....I did wait 5 years before having another
   
4. Its been 5 and a half years since I had a drink or other any bad thing in my body
5. Sometimes I would really like one but I choose not to go there
6. I would like to travel this country one day
7. I eat far too much crap
8. Lots of the time I feel quite ignorant and inferior but get on with it anyway
9. I spent most of my life trusting no one and nothing, now I trust because if I don't take a risk then how do I grow?
10. I like who I am most days
    

one of those days

You know when you have one of those days when you do nothing??


Well, aside from going to the op shop and having a friend over for coffee
that has been my day


Weird


But nice.......


and this is what I really meant muggle!!


mu·nif·i·cent (my-nf-snt)adj.

1. Very liberal in giving; generous.

2. Showing great generosity: a munificent gift.

whispered conversations

I started a new book!

I only stayed up till 1 am reading this time......

oh dear

This all very well and good if you get to sleep in a bit......

must stop before Monday!


There are good and true things happening within our 'circle' just now

Strong and healthy things and women who decide to be who they are

Speaking their truth regardless of initial discomfort and discovering the empowerment that results from this and the healing that follows

Excellent

I am proud to be a mary

I have found, over the past few years , that to speak MY truth is the very hardest thing to do. It takes much guts and practise and thought and ALWAYS feels better than fearful silence

In fact, speaking is so important, such an integral part of healing that I will talk about it some more.

I believe that things that are not spoken, remain, festering inside of us, until they turn into huge and dark energies that lie just underneath our skin. By speaking of them, even if we don't know where to start, we release them, by telling another soul we take the power away from this darkness, by sharing our pain we lessen it. Our words, however weak or puny or dirty or shameful they may seem to us, allow movement.

Healing

Growth

Often, just the very act of speaking something out loud to another person allows us to gain clarity and insight and to put our problem into its proper perspective and that was all we needed.

By listening to someone, just listening, we can allow them this insight. Other times we may need a helping hand to show us a better path to follow right now or to give us a different veiwpoint than the one that is currently blinding us.

This is how it works.

I know this to be true.

By bottling things up we infect ourselves with secrets and toxic shame and give darkness a handhold into our bodies.

We must speak, no matter what. We must not hold onto our 'stuff' and allow it to fester.

It is okay to be confused, it is okay to be lost and most of all it is okay to be wrong. In fact, often it is a relief to be wrong.

If we do not speak it, it cannot be healed.

Funny that.

If you don't know, say so

If you do know, say so

If it hurts, tell someone

If someone tells you, listen

This is a gift we can give each other

Healing happens here

Trust.........

10 things about wednesday

1. I was up till 4am this morning...Tatiana and Alexander kept me awake ALL night and now my eyes are hanging out of my head and ...............did you know that you have to eat bread and honey at 2 am because Tatiana is STARving and you can.....
   
2. Soon I will need part 2....read fast SisOM...yes, you
3. The sun is shining which is weird because its bloody April and should be raining if I remember correctly...which may not be the case because I have no memory at this point in time and cannot remember where I have put anything or what my name is or what I said yesterday...lucky I'm no longer into lying in a big way or I would be in deeeeep poo
4. Everyinbe (specialty fro your mwuggle) will be making black stuff tonight and that should be munificiently fun.....
5. Did you know that NO ONE is blogging at 4 am...I know 'cause I checked, cause I could, cause I was UP...........
6. Darlin' snores very quietly unlike me who roars like a train and shakes plaster from the ceilings and scares small children......
7. I think I had a past life as a Navaho indian shaman and thats why I do healing art...this came to me last night while I was working on a painting for someone...feels right
8. The holidays are nearly over and school resumes next week and wont it be nice to have an almost empty house sometimes but not very often and who said Josh could leave bloody school, wasn't me oh no oh no...........
9. I am a wee bit delirious methinks and am struggling to come up with 10 things here in case you didn't notice.....I don't do well on 4 hours sleep at all actually....not anymore, not for a long time since babies grew up and I didn't HAVE to............
10. Wednesday starts with W, as does wonderful, make your day be so.............

Goodness, that was a stupid idea really..............

I think I will go back to bed now

...........'nite all

Heres a thought that just came in an email (somebody had to have one)

Law of Forgiveness: You are mentally healthy to the degree to which you can forgive and forget grievances against you; your willingness to forgive others and let go of past

a letter from my child.......

This made me laugh so I thought I would share.....

HIIIII MUM!!!!!!!!! (and larry)

lol sorry about the email, you see i wasnt 100% sure if that was your email or not so i didnt want to write a long email only to have it not be sent to you.

yarraton is good. i learnt how to clean bathrooms today! yay..and im in kitchen which is flippin sweet. when i get home i will have 1 billion postcards. me and tahni (tahni and i?) are about to make 75 french dog cards to put in every room in yarroton! every one except the chapel, i wanted to put one in there but nooooo. tahni has to bow to jesus before she leaves the house so yesterday i bowed to jesus too. and today i said amen at a meal prayer for the first time. im getting more religious every day.

do you misss me??? bet you do. i miss tv. but not you. kidding. at yarroton they have cake EVERY DAY!!!! my gosh. but i do vigourous working every day..and walking. AND A 26 KILOMETRE WALK!!! oh my god my feet still hurt at the bottom, i have like a giant blister all round my heel. note: never go walking in cheap crap shoes again. my tourettes has been good! ive only sworn like twice and only said mole once! but no one heard me. there are also a billion food shops everywhere (like in case youve never been to sydney) and so you go outside thinking your not hungry and as soon as you step outside theres a frikken mcdonalds staring at you screaming COME GET A MC FLURRRY!!!! so you turn around to escape and go up the street and your faced instead with 10 restaurants, michells patissere, cheesecake shop and a bakery at every step!!! oh life is hard. whats going down over there? anything exciting? bet not. hows liillypoo??? looking after her i hope. aww isnt she cute, i cant remember the last time i was so scratch free.

MEOWWWWWW. we are making a list (me maria and tahni) called 77 things to do with cockroaches (were a bit obsessed), ill bring you a copy. the other day when we came home maria had collected me a container of roaches! and covered my entire room roof to floor in coathangers, all strung together, it was a maze. i wish i knew how to do it. ill practise in your room when i get home. linda just came in (sloth) shes so funny. shes my hero actually. anyway i have to go make french dogs! so ill write again later. i expect a long email back. as long as this at least.

farewell

i remain your most humble servant

love kayla

transformation....!!

Good morning!

I have decided I am sick of being old and ugly

so I have gone and done my hair and make up and created a new me!

keep scrolling

SEE!!

Bewdifool

ummmmmmm

Ah well, so its Sunday again

ho hum

We were hoping to get out to a psychic hippy type do at Nelsons Bay today
but finances did not allow...

poo

oh well, we did get out to Mandy's exhibition opening last night which was excellent and emotional for her and made lots of money I hope.

They are raffling one of my pictures over the 3 weeks and should make a decent whack out of that...

excellent

It was nice to note that decent prices had been put on the work I donated.....nice kudo from colleaguey type artist people who actually sell work......

Is anyone else having a major bloody cockroach harrassment or am I the only lucky one????

grrrrr....

Above is my current pic that I am working on.........

Haven't started Glorious' yet as must first purchase canvas.............

which I shall attend to this week

There is part of me that is resting comfortably and part of me that is bored shitless.......interesting schizophrenic type feeling for sure

Ummmmm, there is no exciting news to report, except that darlin' won the lucky door prize last night, which was great, it was a bottle of wine, which was not so great, we gave it to Mandy so it still ended up great for someone........thats two prizes in one week in this household!

Should have bought lotto...............

Thats about it for my rambling......

see you!

Why Parents Drink...............

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in

sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,

he

dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a
child's
whisper.



"Hello."



"Is your daddy home?" he asked.



"Yes," whispered the small voice.



"May I talk with him?"



The child whispered, "No."



! Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is
your
Mommy there?"



"Yes."



"May I talk with her?"



Again the small voice whispered, "No."



Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss

asked, "Is anybody else there?"



"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."



Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss

asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"



"No, he's busy", whispered the child.



"Busy doing what?"



"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered

answer.



Growing more worried as he heard what sounded lik! e a helicopter
through
the earpiece on the phone, the boss as ked, "What is that noise?"



"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.



"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.



Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed
the
helicopter."



Alarmed, concerned, and a little frustrated the boss asked,



"What are they searching for?"



Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:



"ME."

I WON A PRI I I ZE

I WON A PRIIII ZZZZEEE

I WON

I AM A WINNER

I AM THE WINNIEST

EXCEPT FOR GLORIA

WHO WILL MAKE ME WORK HARD NOW.....

I AM A WINNER

ehem

s'cuse me.....

I never win anything so this is very much good and now I have a beautiful dangly thing with faces on it to hang off bits of me whenever I should choose to do so and it is very much good indeed

howling is fun

maryme is young today

yay

kristy has a cute baby that smiles, burps and does great poos

life is good somedays

think I'll go lie down..........................

oh dear, I can't, I have to DRIVE some bloody where and pick up a child that at least has been eating someone elses food for a day..........

hmmm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TOOOO YOOOUUUUUU

SISTER MINE

good stuff..

Another Transmission from The Reconnections

"The Falling Apart World"

My Dear Friends,

"With regard to your daily walk and experience..

....it is
important to remember that "falling apart" is the main process that is
underway on Planet Earth at this time. Transforming Beings all over
the planet are doing it, in order to rid themselves of the effort and
focus that has glued their attention into the world system (The
"Matrix" if you will......) and has kept them from dancing and playing
in spirit......with the soul of a Magical Child.

The three areas of primary disruption at this time are:
health, finance, and relationships. Most people are deeply involved in
holding together one or more of these areas. And if your CORE SELF is
ready to reconnect with everything and everyone........you will be
busy about the tasking of SHAKING YOURSELF LOOSE from the "death grip"
you hold (or that holds you)......by way of obligations to family,
bills, reputation, social obligations, and such.

There is no one to "blame" for your situation, as it appears
before you now. It is simply the result of your own inner resolve to
LET GO......which is often quite difficult under favorable situations.
So you attract in uncomfortable situations which make things HEAT UP
inside......until finally your HUMAN WILL becomes ready to focus
itself more into NOW.......and discover the DEPTH OF DESIRE which
lurks underneath all these obligations.

Once the "responsible" and/or "addicted" will is shaken loose,
it is important to spend time connecting to your ORGANIC
CENTER.........body and emotions.......as a guide for your next moves
here on the Earth. Use your body like a Geiger Counter, as you search
for the "radiance" that will inspire your future. Move towards that
which energizes and excites you, whether or not there seems to be any
financial reward or prestige in it. Move away from those things which
deaden you, even if it means breaking long-standing ties with
individuals you care about. You don't have to eliminate them from your
life. Simply find new formats for relating to them so the "deadness"
is removed, and revitalization is returned to the relationship. It is
hard to make a case for being in a place or a relationship if there is
no energy moving there.

In the beginning stages, you will need to grant yourself
considerable time ALONE......in which you can sort out the feelings
and impulses in your Geiger Counter. Make no permanent commitments
until you allow for this. Otherwise, your sense of perspective may
still be somewhat distorted by the Old Paradigm thinking. You must be
brutally honest with yourself about the difference between what is
really important to you and what has been installed there, as social
responsibility. Once you've given yourself this time alone........you
may be surprised with the results. Some energies will establish
themselves as TRULY IMPORTANT........even if you have previously
judged them as "weights" around your neck.....while others that once
seemed so bright...... suddenly grow dim, as the REBELLION ENERGY of
WILLFUL LIVING is released.

As the process continues, and everyone begins to LET
GO.......Love proves itself to be the easiest, most merciful energy of
all. It demands TRUTH and AUTHENTICITY........which is ever and only
present in the NOW MOMENT. All truth lasts but for a moment, you
know........ and then it is replaced by NEW truth. And he or she who
tries to hang onto yesterday's truth, like yesterday's manna.....will
find themselves with a bellyache......because it has grown stale
and/or rotten in their hands.

Let the gifts of your heart lead the way, and all other
elements........health, wealth, love, and affection.......will assume
their proper perspective. Don't be afraid to work with your hands, or
move yourself around.........as the call to economic opportunity is
one way that prophets and healers are directed to their next spiritual
tasks.

We are available to you 24 hours a day. Simply reach for us
and we will be there, in whatever form you require. Be patient, be
truly HONEST with yourself in all things. What others think of you is
simply a projection of their own process into your living space. If
you run your life to maintain their favor, you will always find
yourself living in circles. You are not THEM, and they are not
YOU..........not in the 3D space anyway. Beyond that, all are ONE. But
here......it is important to be 100% authentic.....so the reflections
you bring each other are original and authentic, rather than plastic
concoctions of your "socialized" self.

There are many bumps and pitfalls up ahead! But you are
growing wings, and will be able to fly long before you fall seriously
into them.



Channeled by Daniel Jacob

www.reconnections.net


This guys site is well worth a look......well, it speaks to me!

visitors.......

Yesterday we had many surprise visitors......

I don't like surprise visitors, oh no no

some of them even had small children

Its usually people who come because they don't actually get invited you know

Anyway, it was okay...........

We survived......

One visitor we had this week did not get invited in

although she sat at the front door for ages....

we moved her on quick smart to a new home for sure

Here is a pic....

You see why we didn't let her in

even though she did bring her own food

oh dear

Where the hell is everybody?

Quado

You are capable of true greatness.

This is not a question, a wish or a hope.

This is a simple fact.

You are capable of true greatness.

True greatness is not something you hold up to a standard you or society have set and ask over and over, "Is this it?"

True greatness is a flame inside, a truth that is you.

And as you go through life, this truth can become buried.

You may need to unravel the consequences of some past actions to clear a space for it.

Or you may need to balance the time and effort required to carry your burdens with the time and effort required to excavate your shining wonder.

But it is there.

It is real.

It is true and it shines.

Just thought I'd share this......

I'm very busy being truly great but finding it hard to be fully present at the same time....

grrrrr

oh gawd....

Well, there you go......

me with straight hair

HA HA HA as darlin' says

Its hard to take a photo of yourself in the mirror..............

some stuff....

from school

my stuff

not quite done yet

this either

Part of a painting that doesn't photograph very well


Well, such as it is, this is all I have done in 3 weeks.
Where does my time go?
Buggered if I know

I need my own space and lots of money I have decided

Do you hear that universe????

yesterdays poetry.....sort of

Today I am trying to walk in my goddess

And I am raging

Is this why I avoid myself?

I stand back and observe the raging torrent of me and I see she is magnificent.

I try to pick apart the tangled threads of my relationships and I find

that my own expectations lead me to despair.

Inside of me, my goddess weeps.

She wails for the injustices carried out upon the children.

The child...

She cries for me..

Inside of me, my goddess dances

She dances for the sheer hell of it

And she laughs like a loon

She dances until her legs will dance no more

and falling to the ground

she sleeps

The sleep of innocence where no darkness that is not invited comes

Inside of me, my goddess glories in the sensual.

Touching, feeling, tasting whatever life should choose to bring her way

She does not hide in case it feels too good

She revels in the sweetness of my core

Inside of me, my goddess knows that I am not a problem waiting to be fixed

A role that needs to be played

She does not need to see herself reflected in the eyes of another

to know that she is real

I am her

She is me

Inside of me she dances

And she waits

She waits for me

monday madness

Today I am supposed to be walking in my goddess.

I am trying but my goddess is pissed off.....

I am observing my rage and I find it is magnificent


...weird


if you close your eyes
and look beyond
past this opaque skin
behind my eyes
my beauty shines
flames lit from within

and I

am dancing through the shadows