bloody hell

Have just been scared out of my wits and experienced 'heart dropping to feet' syndrome

The phone rang half an hour ago and who should it be

Mr German guy who Josh is going to live with asking me if Josh got on the plane as they were expecting him hours ago and hadnt heard from him to come and pick him up!!!

Well, never have I been so gobsmacked and stunned

Luckily however, his call waiting went off mid freak out and it was my errant son.....

He has arrived, albeit a touch late and they are on their way to get him'

Thank fark for that!

Wait till I get my hands on him...........

and now I know that Mr German guy is nice man who speaks good english and really exists

another nice thing to know

I am sending my son an international mobile phone as soon as possible

That was horrible

Just horrible

JUST SO YOU KNOW

oops had caps on

havent heard from son yet to know he survived the flight

grrrrrr

but i did figure out that he wasnt really due to land till about 2.30 this afternoon

and then had to catch a train to Stuttgart from Frankfurt and be picked up and god knows what

so I assume I will get a communication at some point tonight

I bit the bullet and took the pill and so far, aside from feeling a bit strange, its okay

I will persist unless something really weird happens

I will try to make it to witches kitchen but wish it were in the afternoon instead of evening

Is that this Saturday?? Or next??

Anyhoo, am off to bite nails waiting for an email from my brat son

His room is very empty now

Point formish

I am buggered so just a quicky

Son is gone....should be landing in Taipai in a couple of hours after 9 hours of flight then onto Frankfurt in a 13 and a half hour flight....so, sometime tomorrow he will have arrived and be on a whole different planet for the next 12 months. Hmmm

I do not like son being in the middle of the air at all

or being gone either

grrrrr

Just us girls at home tonight....

I have a pre op appointment tomorrow morning to prepare for my HYSTEROSCOPY next week which is a camera up my nether regions and a bit of cutting and scraping, not a hysterectomy as some did think. I will be home in a day and up and about I assume in time to enjoy my WEEK OFF!!

Went t see quack about anxiety and was given some medication but have been too chicken to take one. The last one was a bit weird and I am a bit scared of it...anyone experienced Lexapro??

Went to get meridians balanced and it was supposed to relieve pain. I have been in back agony ever since...this is not funny really, it bloody hurts. (Maybe thats what my higher self was bitching about MM...)

I am so tired, was up at 4.30 this morning to get son to train to sydney so Tahni could pick him up and put him on the plane.....yawn

Office has been quite busy and parent has been present in it quite a lot lately. Her latest bloods are saying tumour levels are down again which is hopefully good but am a bit unsure as it was done by a different lab so results can differ. It was reading at 7.4 though, which if correct, would be amazing. 5 is normal, people!

Am going now. It is 7.20 and Im ready for bed

See ya xx

Oh my gosh, just realised that son is landing in Tapei in 10 mins and will be in germany by 6.15 am.... my stomach hurts.

I AM HERE

I am

Believe it or not I am actually VERY BUSY today

bosh and foof

I will blog

I have a headache

but I am okay

I think?

Hmmmm

farkin landlords and sons and mothers I say to you

ahhh crap

Been a horrible week

Am battling ferocious anxiety that is driving me slowly insane

Started an anti depressant thing today that made me feel very weird and not right

Am going to quack tomorrow to try a different one that is supposedly specifically for anxiety

The other one was one I was on years ago and even though it was ok then it is not now I think

I HATE this shit

Really I do

AND my 16 year old daughter has come to me and told me she is suffering from it as well, so I am getting her sorted, psychologist and herbal stuff for her. I dont have time for that right now, I need some relief now, artificial or not, so I can keep on keeping on....

Groan

I want to go fishing

zzzzzz

I am sooo tired

Want to put my head on the desk and snore

But then the phone will ring and someone will have a leaking hot water service or something

So boring today...

Offer was made on business and wasnt enough

We will see what happens

I have to go into have my hysteroscopy on the 3rd of Sept so sister is coming for a few days then....

the things you have to do to get a day off around here......

mums apathy is driving me nuts

oh well

life goes on does it not

relentlessly at times

son of mine is leaving for Germany in 12 days time

I will most likely miss him but am eager to see the back of his little pig head today

My gas ran out and I am heaterless for the weekend ......well, I can go get a swap and go but I am objecting for right now

Darlin has booked the pair of us in to go spend the day doing something meridian enhancing with a Master Yung next Sunday

Should be interesting and feels like it might be a good thing

The sun is shining and the wind is cold

Bring on Spring I say!

Happy Full Moon to you all...

xxxx

Things

Things are coming to a head all over the shop

Waiting for an offer on the business

Talking to certain partners about stuff

Dogs going

Kids going and other kids going through stuff

Me being stretched to breaking point and apathetic about all

Not knowing is killing us all .....

what comes next??

Farked if I know

The control freak in me wants to know NOW

grrrr

frik

suprises and weirdness

Hmmmm

Been feeling really weird all day but whatever

Mother came to work today at mid morn and wafted me off to the Terrace (leaving the office unattended) for oysters for lunch looking over the river......at cows but whatever

And it was freezing cold but whatever

Its the thought that counts....

..and now we are surfing the net looking for a mansion up near Cairns somewhere for us to go to for a month when the business gets sold.......????????

A month on a beach in a mansion with a pool and all expenses paid?

I could grow to like that idea....

hmmmmmm

human bean

Well, after going to bed at 7 last night and sleeping till 5.30 this morning I feel a bit better.

Then, after using Shellis dentist appointment as an excuse to escape and having a coffee with Mary and dropping around to remind darlin' that i know where he lives, I even feel like a human bean with a real life sort of.

Of course I had to eventually return to the orifice and send the frazzled little mother home, but hey, I dragged it out as long as i could.

Seems the anxiety attacks are not reserved for me at the moment and so I am assigning the blame partially to the ever changing energies of now and am also cutting down severely on caffiene. Nescafe has a new one that is half strength and tastes okay so this is my new tipple.

Seems sensible as I do drink many coffees in the course of my day.

My backyard is now resembling a mud puddle with STUCTURE so I am hopeful of using it one day this century. I will, however have to endure my stickybeak landlady for some hours soon as she intends to put SHRUBS in it and also give me energy saving lightbulbs for some reason. This perplexex me somewhat as someone (who I suspect may well be her own good self) will be coming to put them in. Do I look incapable of changing a lightbulb to you?

She also wants to put water saving shower heads in, which I am supportive of in other peoples, who have good water pressures, houses but am not so sure about mine. I dont want to have to run around in the shower to get wet here.......my landlady is a psycho freakish type person who will come and install herself in your home for a whole day so she can sew and hang curtains that end up 3 inches too short and get taken down and put in the cupboard anyway...and last time she came to clean the drain out she bought a bottle of tea tree oil with her and scrubbed my shower glass door with it to try to remove the bloody calcified stuff that wont come off it. Rude or what?

Just to enthrall you further, I have told my real estate agent that when the turf goes down I am not paying for water usage until it is good and growing. Bugger that!

I could rave on and on but I wont because you might never come back again....

It would be nice if some people BLOGGED OCCASIONALLY though

xxxxx

Yuk

Am having a shitter of a week

I am exhausted

Havent had an actual stay at home do nothing type day off for 4 weeks now and I am feeling it badly

Seem to have anxiety issues whenever I get my period these days too...which is too often anyway

Its not fair to be laying in bed reading and then have to get up due to palpitations and hot flashes and impending feelings of doom

Am thinking that tiredness is just exagerrating this also

Whatever, I am OVER it

Sick to bloody death of feeling like shit every day

and then being up all night

I am a zombie

But my mother has clean windows

Intelligent me did organise a cleaning spree for yesterday as she was getting majorly depressed and stressed by the filthy windows. Mother is a very clean woman and is frustrated to the max by beibg too weak to do these things herself. So, in order to save younger brother who has to live with her's sanity we all went and did a blitz....sparkling windows and mother now and that is nice

Shame I cant move.....

oh shut up Michelle and stop whinging

I WANT TO GO TO BED AND SLEEP

FOR A VERY LONG TIME

GRRRRRRRRRRR

more

Doctor in Sydney is most pleased at blood test results indeed.

Is sending stuff up to kill parasites which will be good too, make it easier for her body to process things etc

I have recieved my order of apricot kernels and they taste terrible

Of course

Been a busy woman the last few days

but all is well

Except its feeling like that time of the month again again again

gawd

xx

sooooo....

Took mum to quack to have her head cut off today but they couldnt do it due to it being situated on top of an artery.....

you think I'm joking??

I am not

Well, maybe it was a growth ON her head but still.......

Anyway, her blood test results were back

Guess what

the tumour marker levels have gone....

DOWN

shit a brick!

from 16 down to 10.6

in a month

hmmmm...maybe we are doing something right

??????

Tahni seems to think that this means that the tumour is not producing protein which means it is possible that it hasn't re seeded its ugly self somewhere else and its entirely possible that cancer cells have been murdered and this is all good, yes!

Also, liver and kidney functions are normal and she is a touch aenemic so iron tablets are called for.

But its all good one would think....

wouldn't one?

all is well

same day different name

blah

mother is improving

going to bed now

zzzz

next bit

Mother is feeling a bit better today

as long as she doesnt do anything

or talk

hmmm

I want what she got??

I didnt mean it universe...........

Darlin is coming today

Only one male soon to be gone child at home tonight

In another life that may have been a cause for excitement

but not in this one oh no

must go build a fire in the office bin to keep warm

am giving up on dry

brrrrr

They are building a giant mud puddle in my backyard

I hope its ready for swimming in by summer

that would be kinky yes??/

as it is it is really going to be a retaining wall with some more level ground attached to it. This will apparently stop me rolling down the hill when I put washing on the line....

what washing on the line???

Thats what clothes dryers are for yes?

However, it may be a good thing if I decide to find time to have a BBQ or something..

I am pondering what the F I will do all day if mum is not very sick and the business gets sold....

hmmm maybe SFA!!

That will be good for a few days and then what???????

aarrgghhhhh

goodbye

xxx

and

Been to quack

got giant mega antibiotics for very crook mother

who has crackly lungs and we are warding off pneumonia because that would really suck

poor woman is coughing wet buckets

erk

please send healing

dont want hospital do we

xx

well...

Thats that...

Mum is sick

Been vomiting phlegm up all night and cant breathe properly

Going to quacks in half an hour

Hoping its just the flu turned chesty

hmm....

Papal exhaustion

I am back!

Only a day late too

thats how long it took to get out of the gates of Randwick Racecourse.......

My god.....ess, I have never seen so many people in one place before

And all so well behaved

And even quiet...during the mass you could have heard a pin drop

and it was actually rather beautiful to sit in all that prayer energy...nearly blew the top of my head off

Did you know they smudge each other during mass??

Most interesting and the message was nice and I agree with Renata re the calling of the church 'she'...did my head in a bit too....why did they not progress to the next natural step....??? Like hellooooo...mother earth etc etc

It was interesting to see the ritual, not unlike any of our rituals really, and feel the energy and see the similarity rather than the differences...

There should be more of that in this world should there not...

I really dont get it but I am glad I went...it was an EXPERIENCE.....

Popey was pretty cute really...

Much cuter than Bishop Pell who came across like a politician

And the music was sublime and majestic and very beautiful too

I took pics but no doubt you have all seen it on the box

Huge event and many bodies and no fights.....hmmmm

AND somebody else cooked me dinner two nights in a row

Bliss

AAARRGGHHHH

Did I say I was bored???/

Frikken frikkety frikkkkkk

I am stuuupppiid

I am overwhelmed with things to do due to going to see popey

Best laid plans are always going wrong

and people (ie children of mine) keep needing to be sorted out and some idiot (me) who promised to have a painting or two ready for this weekend for the cloisters down there and didnt start them till the other day and has to wash things and dry and iron them and the dog keeps getting out so darlin must come and dogsit and the gas ran out and it was COLD and everyone wants MONEY and I dont want to give it to them and tenants are crying and making me feel sorry for them and people wont buy any houses and IM SICK OF THEM.....

all of them

yes indeed

and the pope too

he better appreciate the fact that I shall be spending my only day off ever travelling to see him and wheelchairing my parent around and staying at rich aunties house and then coming home on the farkin train to open this shithole for monday morning...I better get a special papal dispensation for this I tell you...at least a divorce or something....

and where is my mother??
At home washing her knickers and freaking out about having TO SEW UP THE HEM ON A PAIR OF TRACKY DAKS.....

am insane I tell you

and my sister is going to Hong Kong on Monday instead of coming here to help me....

smart girl that one but in line for a bashing soon for sure

so I hope that all made sense

goodbloodybye

xxx

ho hum

bored bored bored bored bored bored

and etc

.........just wanted to get back on the top of the list

hmmm

It gets better!!!

I am sooo popular with the religious leaders of the modern world....

not only do I get to go and mass it up with Popey

I have also been invited, as one of a couple of select families of special people,

to go and have a chat and get up close and personal with the very big knob head of Opus Dei....

Im not quite sure why this honour is bestowed apon me

perhaps because I am hung inside the walls of various cloisters down there

and I havent actually made death threats regarding the kidnap of my child??

Said child is using emotional blackmail to get me to go so she can get up close and personal with Opi I think....

Opi and Popey in one seven day period may just be too much for my glorious self to cope with...

hmmmm

My life is soo interesting isnt it!

I KNOW!!!

I could take him a flyer from the cottage!!