ah hah!

Happy Birthing Day
Miss Ruby Jane
and a mighty fine job by
madam nolongerupduffwithverysorethingybits

EXCELLENT

exciting fings wot 'appened today

• weeellll, I had a day off, not so exciting but hey...
• had excellent coffee or two with my mary but not with up duff....for a very good reason as time will tell, hmmmm
• turned my lounge room that no one uses into a studio space for me for when I get motivated in a minute to create some arty stuff
• ummmmm
• drove son and various hormonal sweaty friends to gym which was okay, however, four teenage boys in little tiny marycars is not so good on the way home AFTER sweaty stuff has reached peak and started to dry etc....phew
• Kayla, daughter with scabby dogs arse birthday gift has got an interview with Henny Penny so she's excited....and Must shop tommorrow morning instead of playing sport for suitable interview type clothing that does not involve Lowes mens shorts and old PJ shirts at all, oh no no no
• oh yes, and Kristy Up Duff is probably having a baby Ruby any minute now......WOOOOO HOOOOOOO......push, pant, push, pant etc etc etc

Life is good isn't it....even when it's boring

There you go Jennifer

hello again

...gawd

I am a wee bit over feeling like Ive been run over by some buses and a train or two

I dont know whats going on in the world but hey, enough already.....I want some energy back and a touch of enthusiasm would be nice too

I dont know about anyone else but I have had a really hard time this week, a hard time doing, thinking or caring about anything at all really

So not like me.....I don't much like it

On a brighter note, the arty farty marys are powering on...some beautiful artworks were produced today. Its amazing how a group of people with exactly the same piece of paper and materials can come up with such completely different artworks

I just love watching them zone out of this world and into the other one...its very much good indeed

Art is not supposed to be hard ..... its just supposed to be fun, an adventure of sorts

A little fact I must remind myself of.....

I think thats supposed to be true for life too somehow

hmmmm

Its been quiet on blogger this week has it not...we must pick it up a notch girls, this is good for us, like fruit and stuff.....

My bear dog is a much happier fur boy now, his back is healing very nicely and very expensive vet has done a good job on him and so have I...he is getting quite spoiled though and will soon be unbearable and be called rude names if he keeps taking his bucket-ed head up the wrong end of the house......oh yes indeed

His mother is not impressed at all.....she would like to get sick to achieve some spoiling too I think and he wont even let her.....nah, wont go there I think

My 14 year old daughter turns 15 tommorrow....goodness how did that happen so fast. For her birthday she is getting a scabby dogs arse.....I will put a ribbon on it of course....

I will go to class tommorrow and draw...because I can and I may even want to

I will be grateful for things even if they do seem too hard or too blah this day, there will be days when they are not again soon I am sure

I will

I am

I AM

Have a good week

XXX

aaargghh

So, the workshop will now be on either the 5th or the 7th of March.

I am a pauper and a lazy poo

I have also withdrawn from sculpture for this year because I am not superwoman and nor do I want to be......yay

One whole day off...phew

My poor Bear boy puppy dog has a nasty disgusting mess on his back that started the size of a twenty cent piece and now covers half his back, in TWO days mind you and has to go in and get put under tommorrow and have his back shaved and nasty crap cleaned off and be on cortisone and anti biotics for 2 weeks and cost me a bloody fortune, lucky he's cute sometimes, and why?? Because of a FLEA.......grrrrr.

Wet excema or however you spell it is what it is called and its a very nasty puss-y thing indeed. Poor dog....poor me

And he growled and whined (simultaneously, very clever) at the vet nurse, the vet, a random client, another dog and .......so, anyway, now darlin' must take him in and be his bouncer while he gets drugged heavily because he is a bad mannered pooch with no social graces at all...plurgh

So, that has been my day......

life is a beach!

alert...

Just to let you know, if anyome is interested in doing a make your own drum workshop, darlin' and I will be holding one on the 6th of March.......please let me know if you want to come

hee hee

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests

the week that was..

Well, Im here

Its been an interesting week

Full of 'stuff'

My stuff

I have been made to take a look at what drives me and that is never comfortable

For most of this week I have not been to school or doing anything very useful at all.

I woke up on Monday with an extreme aversion to anything school related and could not bring myself to be there whilst feeling like an alien

I doubt this makes sense to anyone as it didnt make much to me at the time

I have come to some conclusions around fears, fear of being 'seen', fear of failure, fear of sucess, fear of whatever

..and also I have been wondering about relevence, the relevence of me to what I think I should be doing, what I want to do, what my dreams are, practicalities, money, time, energy, inspiraton, motivation blah, blah, blah

Much thinking, sort of, more just being in it and letting the thoughts sift through the extreme lethargy that seems to have overtaken me.

I am going back to school next week. I am not sure why. Why I am there, is it necessary to put me through that. Through what? It is hard to try to come up with inspiration for work that's overall importance is to be looked at by a group of people who's agendas are so totally different to mine, who only look to see what they recognise of themselves and what they have been 'taught' is 'good' or something like that.

Art is a funny thing

Why am I there?

What is it I want from this place?

How do I get it?

How important is it?

I seem to live in a place inside me where things are still categorised and driven by differing expectations, others expectations and needs that I am still carrying after a lifetime of conditioning and only 5 minutes of 'me'. It is not comfortable and part of me would like to take it all off, shed it like a skin, and take a good objective look at it before choosing exactly what to pick up and 'wear' and what to give away

Sound familiar?

Yes, it seems we are all going through some form of introspection and shedding at this point

I am not really unhappy with my life as it is, I just need to decide, with my heart and not my head, to follow the path I have set myself with no fear and no expectations, mine or others, inter'fear'ing with me and my own processes and pathways.

Easy!

Hah....

I have come to truely believe that this life of mine is for ME. I am the one to live it and I am the one I need to heal and encourage and nurture along.

By doing this for ME I also do it for the others I choose to have around me, the way to truely teach is to just live well and that will spread, like a ripple, to my loved ones and touch them and effect their own choices and journeys. That is the best I can do.

I cannot change the past, I cannot change another

I can live my life 'well' and allow others to see me

What they make of it/me is really none of my business

The judgement of others is not mine

I have spent a long time learning to not judge people, it doesnt always work instantly, but I have come to a place where it matters not what another believes or does or looks like or thinks like, that is just them and I am just me. In fact we really are each other, just at different stages...

In the mirror of life I am seeing that I am still concerning myself over what people think of me. In my ego I give myself far too much importance.......I am giving an imaginary panel of judges far too much importance.

I will be my judge from now on

I can live with that.....

hmmmmm

i know!!

Yes, I know I am not blogging much, that is because I am a paintbrush okay.....well I am today, yesterday I was just confused....

Tonight we will be a drum circle......

see you there

At least I am reading blogs and leaving comments......this is easily done whilst waiting for ink to dry....ta ta

xxxx

this is good...

www.spiritlite.com/newsletter.htm

I don't seem to be able to make a link right now...click on Dr Meg, (Spirit Light) in my sidebar and go to latest messages..........

shhhh...

The only person in my house is me.....

this is unheard of and shall all too soon pass

I am having difficulty typing at the same time as lighting a smoke, sipping coffee and eating 9 mint cream filled evil things from coles...I am managing however

shhhhh...dont tell darlin'......he is off seeking his errant pregnant son today.....

I have drawn 9 lines on a piece of paper......wow

I have let in the washing machine guy so he could fix my yet again not working cleaning of clothes device for the second time since I paid him...grrrrr.....at least he is not demanding more payments for this.....

I now have 250 wet towels to dry on a day that is making everything leaky.......hmmmmm

I have managed to avoid being killed and maimed by elderly gentleman drivers 3 times this morning....must be the rain that has brought em out....

Is it rude to yell at old men who turn right from the left hand lane beside you????? I had the windows up and he did look quite shocked already.....

.....and to find myself creeping along at 35 k's on a main road behind another one for MILES AND MILES AND MILES GRRRRR

where was I?

oh yes

Rainbow Lodge

....would you believe that son just walked in the door ???? This is apparently a strange phenomenon related to the HSC.....grrrrr

So....said Lodge place is a beautiful property at Booral that some lovely people have built a most excellent giant hexagon room/centre on and it is just lovely. Every three months apparently they have people come to share some wisdom (similar to round the cauldron but bigger) and we were there yesterday......

There was a Native American lady who did a peace pipe ceremony and another lady called Black Crow Walking who had lived and studied with the Native Americans who also had interesting things to say. Plus a couple of indian guru worshipping type people who had great voices and sang lovely chants and a lady who did energy work etc etc etc

I will let you know next time its on, the day is by donation and was good stuff. I have no idea what they do for the rest of the time.......

I have corned cow mooing on the stove ....

I have 550 drawings requiring more than 9 lines on them

I have 4 'black' paintings to be creative about

I am using my bathroom with sunnies on so I cannot see the dirt.....

I forgot to buy kitty litter which means that Lilith the weird one shall start to pee in the bath if this situation is not rectified soon

I have hairy eyebrows and grey roots

I have too many children and not enough money

I am SICK OF COOKING

AND DIRT

AND DUST

...and my windows have huge streaky dirt things running down them because I have not cleaned them ever and now it has rained buckets and moved it all down where I cannot miss seeing it

I did not wash mary so the rain is not my fault...she was pretty filthy though so she may have called the rain herself.....

I am boring myself now so I might go and eat the rest of these chocolate mint filled biscuit things and then vomit quietly............

gosh

by the way...Kristy upduff is having a baby in a minute

groan....

I will blog

I WILL

I am just waiting till I can see the keyboard through my blurry eyes

I am wagging school tommorrow so I can have a house to myself and start drawing

Yes...already

I will blog then

I had a good day today and met interesting people at a place called Rainbow Lodge at Booral.

I am a pillow waiting for a snore.................

got it first jen.....

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.

Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their ass

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

da da

Hmmmm......

imaginary glory

So, imagine if you will.....

you have a shiny red apple and it is a holy object, an ICON, a thing to be worshipped and revered and placed in the most respectful of places where such reverence will be obvious and discernable....

got that?

good

Now, imagine if you will, being asked to build a structure on which to place said reverential object of iconicism.....

"how wonderful" I hear you say ...

"what an honour"

"so exciting"

The mind boggles does it not....bulging with ideas of shape and oh, the marble and gold and stained glass ......

Imagine, if you will, being asked to do this thing, to build an alter for such a purpose.....



out of bloody newspaper



such is my day.........................




tommorrow I paint

end of day....

I am just heading off (on my oh so swollen sore ankles) to bed....to SLEEP this time...

I would blog if I could think past "awwwwww sh#@T".....

how does one get rust out of under fingernails.....

g'nite

monday A.M

Yes, its 12.15 or some such thing

Yes, I have school in this morning

No, I am not asleep

why??

Dunno

Am awake

Stomach is feeling weird....oh oh

I have to get up in 5 and 3 quarter hours

ahhh...such is life...plurgh

must go drink chamomile..............

So, its Sunday...again.
Life is full of Sundays don't you think...

The cottage is very schmickly clean and sparkling today thanks to exhaustive and sweaty efforts by such mary's as Renata, Deb, Leanne, Gloria and mwa.......shiny shiny shiny...ouch

I start school tommorrow....this could be good
...or not

My big baby is home and has decided to take a year off uni and clean toilets before making huge life decisions...hhmmmm

My little babies are back at school and well equipped, unlike their mother who has no money left for her own school supplies and will be reduced to drawing on toilet paper with a hunk of burnt toast for the forseeable future....

I am already at the stage of not "getting in that bloody car again today"...plurgh

Darlin' finds this incredibly amusing as does ex-husband!!

Am thinking that above burnt toast might be the menu for the first few weeks of this term as I struggle to adjust to ungodly timetables that leave no time to cook or shop or bathe or clean or think or.....

I am in a different class group this year and hope sincerely that it isn't full of strange little weirdo's (...judgemental? YES..) that are 2 years old and just want to talk all day...this I could not handle and will become very unpopular very quickly as I tell them all to shutup or go home as some of us are here for a reason...yes, getting old and don't care what undeveloped little strange people think of me at all.......

This year I PAINT....YAY....and sculpt...hmmm

I have not so much as picked up a pencil to make a stickman drawing since last I went to school.....I must have needed a break.....or else I have'nt had time....hmmm, could have drawn lots on the beach at Hat Head and yet didn't feel so inclined at all....probably extremely lazy...care not!

Am losing suntan at a very fast rate...oh well...I could go sit in the yard with the dog poo but melanoma just doesn't seem worth it somehow.....the setting is just all wrong.

Life is........

I am

You ARE!

Yes, you

worth a look

www.carolfitzpatrick.com

Interesting stuff that 'feels' right

hmmmmm....

I seem to have missed a day...oh dear.
Life is weird
How can you be tired when you have been sitting on a beach doing nothing for two weeks?
Beats me for sure, but I am ....buggered.
Maybe its the thought of starting school next week, maybe its the constant running around Ive done these past 4 days, maybe its time to stop for a little while and let things take care of themselves.......
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Im in a bit of a weird space in myself right now.
Am feeling very ambivilent (?) about life, nothing much is 'floating my boat' so to speak.
I am just doing what needs to be done and not feeling much of anything at all.
Hmmmm...
I assume that will change.
Meanwhile I go with the flow.
It has been nice to catch up with all the peoples that matter in my life this week.
Its been nice to be home, sort of....
It will be nice to get this year at school started and know who will be teaching me what this year and to just get started doing something productive.
I think...
Am having to take a look at where I stand in my own beliefs and comfortability in myself as I travel the path in support of my friend...I am satisfied with me so far...mostly....that is a relief.
I am remembering what it felt like to be living in that place of rawness and vulnerabilty and appreciating the journey that has bought me this far.
I have been taking a tiny look at what might need to change in order to grow further, not sure about that....

It will be nice to go to bed early tonight and wake up to a fresh day that involves NO bloody shopping tommorrow.......