Life in general.....

We watched Mamma Mia last night

So funny and I love Meryl Streep....what a woman!

Now I am itching to have a little fun

I wonder if I'm still capable?

The weird thing about being me right now is that I don't know how to be 43 and single

I don't know how to do the go meet someone new thing

I don't have a drinking, party type life style

I don't want one particularly

Ummm, I don't even have a life style right now :)

Not that am adverse to a night out or anything, or someone else having a drink or two in my company, not at all....

But where do you meet people?

A dilemma to be sure

I am wondering what I will do when all of this is over? Where will I be? Who will I be?

I am wondering what I want......I DON"T want to be in that office after the end of this year, I know that much. Not the way it is that's for sure.

I WILL be painting more and maybe I will go do an art class to get my eye back in

I might like to go back to art school, finish my Diploma?

I dunno really.....

By the end of this week I will have some sort of answer

About something

One would hope.....

Ten weeks without a ciggy now....

Mum is kicking along.

She has no energy, can't bloody breathe, can't eat, is losing weight and tying up her affairs.

That's just the way that is.

I hate it and find it hard to go there some days.......literally.

I go and cook a meal and we all eat it and she has a spoonful and looks pleased with herself for forcing it down.....

This is just my brutal honesty, all about me, I don't want my mum to die.

Who will I be without her?

Who will I blame?

Who will be my 'safe place'???

How will I be the damn 'matriarch'?

I am so not ready for that........

This really sucks and it's breaking my heart every day.

So, yeah, bring on the fun.....I need a little something

Is that fucking okay, because I feel guilty for wanting it?

Ahhh, so there it is.....