Wednesday, December 12, 2007

slice of life

Reading comments from last post has prompted me to elaborate a touch

This is the guy whom I left because he didn't mind punching me around with babies in my arms or in my belly...

This is the guy who showed my 4, 3 and 1 year old a gun and bullets telling them they had my name on them and so hasn't seen these kids for 12 years....

This is the guy I am sending my son to for Christmas

Get it???

This is not about fathers who show up occasionally, I wish it was

While I don't believe he will hurt Josh, I am struggling with it all.....

But he is a big boy now and needs to know....

Fark it


Lisa said...

your concern is normal now and natural. it is also understandable.
maybe he has changed like we all have over the last 12 years.
i hope so shell xx

rainbowspirit said...


more hugs and more smooches

and the universe will protect him because he has a job to do, possibly cleaning his room?

luv you

Cyndy said...

I feel for you 'Chell. I have a friend who feels totally betrayed by some of her children; at a recent 21st birthday, father & new partner were invited, and mother refused to go. Quite a few years ago, this father of the year had driven his wife & children into an empty paddock, dragged mum out in front of the car, held a gun to her head and told her that "she was going to get what she deserved"... all in front of the children. And he would beat her senseless... often. When he started on the kids, she finally dredged up the strength to leave him.

Just when she thought felt safe with a new partner & settled family, he made contact with the middle son, who was too young to remember what had happened previously. As unhappy as my friend is about it all, she realises that she cannot change the way her kids feel, and can only make her choices based upon how she feels.

But the thought of this man in her children's life scares and makes her sick to the core.

Hang in there.

Thanks for sharing; it makes a lot of things clearer. But it is not and has never been your fault. The kids will have to deal with it all their own way.

Phew; the Muggle strikes again

Love to you xoxox

Rider-Waite said...

Dear God!! No wonder you are worried about it all. Hopefully Lisa is right. At least my sons Dad is just a useless shit and not a violent bully.

Thinking of you. But still, kapooey about your daughter not coming home. That sucks big time. xxxxx