Saturday, September 30, 2006


I would write about today, but I dont know what to say.
So, I will ponder awhile and write tommorrow.
Please send love and light to Robert.


I would dearly love to know you in the physical.
And I dont mean that in a rude way!
Yes, I am a smartarse, a wise one?, Im not so sure, but then so are you, I dont even know why I am writing this except it feels important to not scare you away.
Maybe its too late.
You speak like I think.
Is that weird? I dont know.
In life, I have found, sometimes we just have to take a risk, maybe this is one of those times?There is nothing wrong with fun but if I have inadvertantly hurt you then I am truly sorry. Please dont be a stranger....the information you have left is so cryptic that I cannot understand it.
Does that sound familiar to you?
How was I your way out?
And you didnt pi#@ me off, I like you.
If I knew a way to send this directly, I would.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

on the wall

I tried to take some photos of my stuff on the wall at school this week.
Too bad the photos are c#ap!
Anyway, heres one...

off the pot!

Okay, Im off my pity pot now.
A little self indulgence to remind me how bad that feels.....
Guess what I just is the 28th of September!
Yeah so, I hear you say...
well 5 years ago, on the 28th of September, I made a choice.
I chose to live...
Today is my 5 year birthday of being 'clean' and 'sober'!
Im SO cool!!!!
and so modest too......

on my mind

  • why I feel like I dont know who I am or where Im going or why
  • why it matters
  • why Ive eaten myself stupid for the last month
  • how I can lose weight and give up smoking too
  • what difference it makes
  • how you get known as an artist with out having to do all the 'crap'
  • what difference it makes
  • why I didnt get the cat desexed before she came on heat again....
  • why the pee-oodle finds me so irresistable
  • how I can earn some, well, lots of money between now and christmas
  • why am I at art school instead of packing shelves at Woollies or some other such task requiring no qualifications
  • why Im so full of doubt today when I was full of joy just a few short days ago
  • who shergar really is
  • why my floors look like they havn't been swept in months
  • and my bath like it hasn't been scrubbed
  • and I wont mention the toilet again
  • or the bloody meowing tortured sex starved cat thats creeping around the joint with its tail swept to the side waiting for Mr Cat to fix her up ( NO cotton buds Jaqui!)
  • or the 3 meals I cooked because no one can like the same thing
  • or the clothes all over the bedroom floor (and thats in my room!!)
  • ho bloody hum

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

What my mother taught me...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION ."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC." Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12.. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION ."Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING ."You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT ."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM ."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
~Author Unknown~

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

what Ive done today

  • eat
  • sleep
  • eat
  • sleep
  • blog
  • eat
  • sleep

etc................get the picture!

Shergy is NOT a little boy, he once was and is now using that ploy to solicit love and attention and sympathy from us.

That my dears, is a typical MAN tactic.... every time

heres another interesting site

how about this Jac, ptah = path ??


Please listen to this...especially you, yes you

I have just spent an hour listening to this broadcast.
Affirming and explanatory stuff........
I HIGHLY recommend it to everyone
You will have to join up but they dont send you 1000's of emails or anything, it just enables you to listen.
Go to the Karen Bishop interview in the archives (sept. 21st)
Far out!

Monday, September 25, 2006

on monday I......

  • had coffee and pig with mary (twas very nice to be with mary outside of cottage)
  • my darlin' bought me a giant rose quartz rock for my finger, its just beautiful.
  • bought the Sybil book just because it was there and I've never read it
  • came home
  • drank Goji
  • went to bed because I could
  • got nearly asleep and someone knocked on the door
  • had coffee with the someone
  • went back to bed
  • the kid next door decided to play his drum kit
  • got past that and snoozed
  • the phone rang
  • gave up on sleep idea
  • 'cooked' left over lasagne much to disgust of starving hoards who think leftover means garbage
  • and thats about it

ok horse guy!

Its official, he's in the links.
You ARE a blogger now Shergar.

blog already!

I am formally announcing to the universe and the world that I,
Anchell Blue aka Michelle
on Sunday.
THIS Sunday........

Sunday, September 24, 2006

my kids....

Gawd, how do you get this to work!
I cant move the bloody photos around.
Oh well.
These are my brats.
Shelli, Kayla, Tahni and Josh, in that order.
I am playing with B & W for some xmas pic pressies for the relo's.
Lots more work to do obviously.

Josh will not let me take a nice photo, and looks like he's in pain, poophead!

Happy Birthday Shellibaby

Josh with remnants of green beard.
Taken in highly secret covert mission in order to have evidence that he was a child once. A rare opportunity......note unkempt, putrid hair

Self portrait of and by Shellibaby, she doesn't mind exposure in the slightest

This is my littlest baby trying to look 'oh so cool'. One can't smile. I am now officially the mother of teenagers and beyond.....WOW....scary stuff!


Saturday, September 23, 2006

and another

muggle day today

Scary isn't it.

My day has been normal for a change. Well, define normal and it might be. Or not.
I have done enough housework to enable me not to feel guilty for the rest of the week.
My big baby girl ( the catholic scientist virgin) is home for a quick 24 hours for her sisters birthday. She is in the last month of her honours year at uni and spends all her time in the lab pipetting and such things. She has grown an extra little muscle in her arm from pipetting things into test tubes and doesn't get much sleep. She likes my paintings and now wants her Mary in that style! Little does she know....
Its my baby Shelli's 13th birthday tommorrow ( no more pre teens for me, phew, that took a loooong time coming...) and I might be able to afford a cake after all my shopping this week. Thats what happens when you're too busy to plan. Well, thats my excuse anyway.....
I was forced to watch Napolean Dynamite by my daughters. A collective effort in which I was guilt tripped into doing a motherly time spending thing. Never again. I have never actually seen a movie about nothing before, though the dance scene was quite cool.
My son is talking! Whole sentences and conversational type things have been uttered today whilst he was running around with a green beard texta'd onto his face.
Why, I'm not quite sure...
My kids are cool and funny. Thank goodness.
The fact that Joshua's vocabulary is disturbingly filled with swear words isn't all that funny but I am thinking he is trying it on me for shock value. We will see who gets a shock when there is soap on his toothbrush!!!! Ha ha ha
I had to wait till now for a turn on the 'puter and that sux! See, too much kid talk today. Im glad I didn't have Raihn and Romy's morning.
My poor darlin' is starting to feel like I've left him for a man called Blog I think. I might just go and spend some time with him now that all is quiet in this house.
G'nite all...

Friday, September 22, 2006

a message of light

This website is about the book I am reading. Its an amazing book and full of truth. Please take a look.

my day

  • Up at six
  • all the school, lunch etc crap
  • 2 half cups of coffee and lots of smokes
  • in car, off to school myself
  • more coffee, real this time, aaahhhh
  • sit bum in front of computer and try to make image on photoshop
  • ruin it
  • ruin it
  • ruin it
  • forget to save it
  • do it again
  • and again
  • and yet once more
  • smoke heavily in playground whilst contemplating jail term for malicious damage of property
  • sigh
  • go back in
  • finish it
  • looks pretty bad but its done
  • more coffee
  • go to library and load up with 14 000 art books and cart them out to car
  • go to sculpture
  • contemplate large block of limestone with glee and start chipping
  • and scraping
  • and breathing in lots of dust
  • and wiping dust in eyes
  • get safety glasses, good look, trust me
  • and eating dust
  • wind blows and dusts blows down bra and throat
  • shake dust out of shoes
  • and off self
  • do it all again
  • and again
  • and again
  • wipe dust in hair just so it matches rest of self
  • try to lick dust off teeth
  • drill giant hole in block with manual drill requiring strength of ten men
  • give up half way through due to lactosity in muscles of arms
  • class ends
  • clean up mountains of dust and contemplate next week with dread
  • go to car and retrieve gigantic paintings in frames weighing 70 tonne each and haul into gallery space
  • gather with classmates and stand around looking useless contemplating where to hang work without offending anyone
  • wait for teacher to arrive and make decision for me
  • teacher arrives 30 minutes late
  • I get hung in foyer, top spot, worth wait
  • climb up 15 ' ladders and stick small things with big strings into slots whilst ladder is not in quite right place thereby necessitating one to stretch out in dangerous manner and wobbly arm muscles protest fiercely
  • do it again
  • and again
  • and again
  • go back and do it once more to straighten up all crooked pictures that looked just fine from 15 ' up in the air
  • security guard kicks us out so he can go home and be a normal joe
  • phew
  • I go home to wash off accumulated dust
  • and empty bra
  • and now Im here
  • hmmmmm......

Thursday, September 21, 2006

by the way...

I love you guys
Thankyou for sharing this with me
and as for you, I told you so...
Isn't the Michael message awesome!

48 hours

Yesterday I went to the beach.
I stood at the edge of the ocean with my feet in the swirling water and looked.
On the horizon there were ships, the water was deep blue and turquoise and the sky a little cloudy.
As I looked and stood I felt, in my core, a peace and gratitude and a radiance that shone, just from me, out into the world, down into the sea and I felt very, very humble and fully alive.
It was beautiful.
I looked to the sky and in this space of peace and love I could see rays of colour shining down into the sea and I imagined them to be healing, the ocean, its life and myself too.
I have had quite a few of those moments just lately.
I spent my night last night in another place of peace, Rose Cottage.
I feel at home there, with those women, my sisters and my friends.
I took part in a ritual for spring that involved a rebirth and a release.
We had to invite what we wanted to come to us and let go of what we no longer needed.
I invited truth in all things and let go of fear. Yay.
I have been searching my heart for a truth in all this that has been happening for me and have come to a place where I just know.
I know that there is truth here.
I know it wears a different face than I have ever seen.
I know its about faith and believing without proof.
About looking beyond the illusion and feeling rather than thinking.
These things I know in my heart to be true.
It doesn't matter what face it wears, I see it anyway.
I am trying to look for the similarities rather than the differences
and to not be taken in by 'glamour'.
I do not think that a 40 year old mother of four who has lived the life I have
has not learnt, by now, to look beyond the obvious.
Maybe that's why I chose my particular life to live and those particular lessons to learn.
I know very well how to fool myself and let my head run my show.
I did it forever.
I have since learnt that what my heart tells me is what I need to listen to.
So, I am.
My fear of what others think just gets in my way.
My fear of my own power trips me over.
My fear of seeming not 'normal' is a fallacy.
My heart knows, my head is there to amuse me.
I am experiencing a feeling of being lost and found at the same time but I know this will pass.
I am both frightened and exhilarated, I am letting go of the fear.
It matters not, as my darlin' would say.
There is truth here and in it is held the secrets of the universe.
There is healing here and I want it, for myself and for us all.
If we do not listen then we cannot learn.
That has been my experience.
I follow my heart these days.
It doesn't lie to me.
And I love......I love
This world is a beautiful place.
I am that I am

in my heart today

my heart weeps
but not in pain
my eyes are full
I shine
I feel love
running through my veins
for you, and I
I have been waiting
all my life
for you, and I
and this

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

and again..

For those of you who aren't sick of them, here's the latest.
Had a good day today, feeling so much better.
However the high energy evening at the cottage tonight has left me in need of bed.
So thats where Im going
.........nite all

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

take a look

This is a wonderful website.

The Positive side of life

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

If KMart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours....but they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

weirder and weirder

Okay, an update on the strange things happening in my life.....

  • last night Rylah starts channeling messages from a being called Ptah, bells ring, recall my experience with a being called Pytah, or so I thought, on previous day??
  • I email Rylah and ask for her to see if he/she has a message for me
  • I get this back in an INSTANT

"Ptah, do you have a message for Michelle?

Be strong little one. We on high are very proud of your efforts and your strength. It is true that we speak also, but on a different level, through a different channel, if you will. Your mission is advancing and the colour green will be of great benefit to you at this time. Your suspicions are correct. Look into the scorpion, study it’s mythology and structure, there you will find much truth. You, like this little one are from the stars, another wanderer. It is fine for you to believe as you do. Do not be frightened of your own strength. Your spaceship has temporarily been called to a different plane, although there is much support still here for you. Please understand we never leave you. Just the anchor of the physical ship is gone. It shall return in 20 weeks and stay completely. At this time you will feel an alignment take place which will be of great benefit to you and your life work. Continue on little one, you are greatly blessed, be kind, be kind and gentle to yourself.


  • Okay, spinny enough yes?
  • Next I , of course, go speeding through the internet in search of all things scorpion and find a star system (Scorpion/Scorpio) whose main star is called Antares ( An tares/An chell??)I follow this up with another web page that informs me that this star is one of the archangel stars and known as the Watcher of the West. In the past I have had strange thoughts about me being something called a Guardian of the West, and a key. Obviously mad thought I at the time
  • The archangel associated with this star is Uriel (Oriel) who ALWAYS pops up in my readings along with Michael)
  • Also associated with this star are, well I'll just paste it in - In Egyptian astronomy it represented the goddess Selkit, heralding the sunrise through her temples at the autumnal equinox about 3700-3500 BCE, and was the symbol of Isis (the Moon. Isis is linked to many stars) in the pyramid ceremonials.....
  • Ptah is an ancient god of Creation - the very thing my paintings speak to me of
  • I find these pictures of this star system - I am not imaging the resemblance to my paintings here am I? you'll have to go to the link, blogger wont post again -
  • Im sitting at the table pondering these things and I get an urge to write. So I do and this pops out - '

"I am Anchell,

I come from Antares-the red star,

I AM a walk in and I came in as a small child,

I am Blue,

I am a Guardian of the 4th gate (West)

I am a seeker

I am here to help create a new world,

these things I know.

  • The weird thing about that was that it felt true regardless of the delusional idiot thoughts I was also having at the same time. I think I was 're lit' 8 years ago and that is when I began to awaken, first the dark night and then the dawn....

  • Any and all thoughts on this would be appreciated. Please try to be objective. I am.

Monday, September 18, 2006

10 things I should have done differently

  • buying teenage son black bed sheets......
  • eating the pork chop after the fruit salad
  • eating the M&M's after eating the pork chop after eating the fruit salad
  • gone shopping with an empty stomach again
  • gone shopping for 12 turning 13 year olds birthday BEFORE she came home and gave me attitude
  • got up at 5.30pm after going to bed at 1.30am
  • gone to bed at 1.30pm
  • shaved legs before checking state of razor and then kept shaving anyway after skin began to scrape off
  • tried to wear skinny jeans in a fat month
  • asked that hypochondriac friend of mine how she was...

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Well, here we are and its Sunday again.
My darlin' and I went to a party last night and a friend of ours was there. This lady, Suzanna, is a reader and a medium and is very connected. Every time I was talking to her the 'energy' I have been talking about previously in this blog gave me a huge nudge. Eventually I mentioned to her what was happening. To cut a long story short, she 'tuned in' and tells me that this is my 'muse'. A guide to work with me on my art. He ( I say he as he came through on my right side)came through to her looking like a satyr, complete with hairy legs but only one horn. Try as I might I cant find much info on satyr's on the net. Anybody got any information for me please????
Satyr aside I actually feel that this is possibly the 'face' he wore with her as thats what she would see.
I got the name Pytah, similar to Peter but not. That name has been cropping up for a long time.
The other strange thing to happen was that some friends called in today bringing with them their little 'blue star' girl (3 years old and bright as a button) with them. This kid kept looking at me and then proceeding to babble on about 'Mary'. The name Mary has been coming to me for quite a few months too. Any input on that would be appreciated too.
You hearing me?? Yes, you.....
To move on from all that, yesterday was a nice day. I spent half of it at the cottage with my other darlin' Miss Raihn and a lovely afternoon was had by all as we delved into our pasts and thought about what we needed to let go of and acknowledged how far we have come.
personally, I know I am light years away from the me who lived a short 5 years ago.
Thank gawd I say!
I have been considering this letting go of things and I think what I need to let go of most of all is my fear of people seeing and knowing who I really am.
I suppose I have been hiding myself for various reasons for a long, long time now and it has become a survival technique that I adopted and didn't really know I had. Not on the level I do anyway. I know now.
I am uncertain of how to go about this but I know from past experience that once I am aware then things happen in such a way that I just do it.
All it takes is awareness and intent.
The rest is just following the lines, if you know what I mean.
Well, I am aware and willing and I want it gone.
Lets see what happens now huh.
I am feeling better these past few days than I have for weeks.
Im hoping that that will continue.
Raihn's new Michael message speaks to me. (as usual)
I am content.
And tired.
And thats okay.. I am that I am


Saturday, September 16, 2006


This feels like’ truth’ to me – Im going to do it

Alignment of the Stargates

Monday, September 18, 2006 at 5:40:00 AM – our time

If you wish to participate in the moment of alignment, it is acceptable and in fact of perfection! It would be for you to close your eyes, blocking out the third dimensional illusions, relax and breathe. Next, it would be to allow yourself to align. Imagine many bodies that all look the same, are the same size, but out of focus, coming together as one clear and functional being. That is what it looks like when your aspects align. One perfect forever being.

You will feel it as your aspects align. Do not be literal in your commands, simply state to all of your you’s to align harmonically with the Star Gate System.

Next, imagine that you project yourself, your perfect alignment through the openings of the Star Gate System. Now you are willingly participating within the instigation of change. And by doing this in such a way, willingly participate within the change. Becoming the change with ease and grace.

You will feel yourself being to balance and an inner evenness occurring.

As this occurs, imagine what it is that you wish to create in your experiences of life. Imagine that the interior of the Star Gate pathway is like a river, a constant flow. Let your imaginings float away from you with ease and with grace. Let them become what they will. After all, you are both on the same river to the same destination.

Let yourself float for a while, but remember that you have unfinished business on the human side of reality, and bring yourself back gently and with ease, knowing that there are parts of you which remain within the Star Gate Alignment because you have intentionally aligned yourself within it.

And be in peace.

That which is the shift you have worked toward all of your lives comes. What it will be in its fullness is entirely dependant upon you.

And so it is that we return to light.

Friday, September 15, 2006

testing testing

Well, it worked that time.
Must be tempermental.
This is a part of one of mine.
Elizabeth is a poo.......

things I must remember to remember...

  • Fish do not make noise when they are hungry (well, my fish Gutz, throws his pebbles around a bit) so just because one moved them to the other room doesn't mean one can forget to feed them.
  • Fish die without regular food input
  • So do mice
  • Actually so do cats, dogs and children but they are much noisier about it and you have to lock them in cupboards and lie to authorities and other such things....
  • Paint does not dry quicker when I watch it
  • Making giant fruit salad AND vegetable soup AND forgetting to buy bread on the same day will not make me popular with the carnivores
  • Budgies also die without food
  • Mothers die without food and thats why they eat lots of raisin toast sometimes
  • Silence is necessary sometimes
  • Electricity must be paid for......
  • Also phones
  • If I don't buy credit my phone doesn't work
  • If I don't tell people I love them they don't know even though I spend my whole life doing stuff for them this is not enough, I must show affection on a regular basis
  • Not to give in to Kayla's extremely inventive pleas for return of music machine
  • To love son in spite of abnormal, unsocial behavioral aberrations
  • To buy more avocados
  • To figure out why blog wont post pictures just now
  • To stop when this is quite enough..................

on mental illness

I have just read both Lisa and Jaquis blogs on mental illness.

It is indeed food for thought.

My little brother was diagnosed schizophrenic at age 15.

There followed a tormented and terrifying 18 years of pain and denial and misunderstanding, on his behalf and on those of us who love him.

Suddenly, about 6 or 7 yrs ago a new medication was trialled in australia and Alan was one of the lucky few it worked for.

He now lives in Perth and holds down a job in the mines and is earning mega bucks.......Go figure. I am simply grateful for his respite from utter confusion.

Along the same lines, I too suffered from a form of 'mental illness' in the guise of depression and anxiety.

This did indeed rip my world apart for several years and living in a state of constant confusion and pain and fear is no picnic.

No medication worked for me either.

I tried to self medicate via 'the bottle' and ended up a very sick, sorry and disallusioned woman.

However, the remedy for my pain was to be found within myself and once I got past the bottle and the 'medication' I was able to be led (by the nose at times) into an understanding of where and when this pain was birthed.

A long and ongoing journey of self discovery.

Once I stopped looking outside of me for the answers I have found that all lies within.

If I have the guts to actually 'see' it for itself in entire honesty then, and only then, can it be removed.

Its an interesting process.

Sometimes joyous and sometimes incredibly painful, it is all worth the end I win, because I do indeed, find me.

And guess what!

I never knew her at all.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

funny fings wot 'appen

Hello all.
Today has been a little odd.
I went into school and did my class. Odd in itself this week.
unfortunately I had nothing important that I needed with me so it was a useless exercise.
Then I thought I would meander up to the salvo's and see if there were any cheap frames I could revamp and there weren't.
So I browsed through the bookshelf and came upon a book entitled "The Star-Borne" that, of course, I bought. It was written in the late 1980's and is all about the awakening of the last wave (4th dimensional) .......hmmmm.
More bloody questions!
It is also about telling us that we are our own angel. That our 'guardian angel' is in fact our 'higher self'.
This is resonating with me for some reason.
It's written by a woman called Solara. Some of it feels 'old' and some of it feels quite relevant.
I am extremely 'over' feeling so exhausted and flat. I want it to be finished...NOW.
I am looking forward to Saturday at the cottage. Its one of the only places I feel comfortable in at the moment.
My period is due.
I've put on weight and feel fat....I did read somewhere that ascension would put weight on temporarily, especially round the tum.....seems like a good excuse to me.
Anyway, fat is relative! I'm not sure to what though.
I have a cold sore trying valiantly to come and get me...I think the Goji is keeping it at bay.
Actually, speaking of Goji, I think that what I feel like is much like a detox.......I have detoxed before in less pleasant times of my life and this feels awfully familiar and is lasting much longer.......hmmmmm.
My son is a pig get that.
My daughter has got over me taking her music machine away and now resorts to occasional wounded bleatings that go something like this...
"...can't I just listen to it on the way to school, whine, snuffle, pleeeaaassseeee mummyyyy..........".
I of course look suitably stern and dreadfully old and mature and say
"sucked in chick...... consequences, baby, consequences. Do the crime do the time"
and that sort of morally uplifting type thing.
To which she replies
"how could you do this to is my LIFE......can I just have my earphones and I'll pretend I can hear it....."
To which I respond more thoughtfully
"I'm sorry darling child but I do this for your own good and it hurts me far more than it hurts you etc etc"
To which she replies
"Crap! Why don't you just get a stick and beat me mother. You just hate me...."
and I say to her
"you ARE"
and she says
"Well, you AREN"T"
......and so it goes on.
Can I last a week?
Possibly. I am a strong woman.
Plus they go to their father tommorrow and he will have to deal with it. Ha ha.
So, anyway, then I came home with my book and went to bed. There's a shock!
And woke up...
I didn't have any illuminating dreams that told me clearly what to do with my life.
And cooked dinner. Burrito's. No one whinged. Weird.
And grounded my pig , oops, son, from the computer for the evening for throwing avocado all over his sister.
And now I'm here.
Are we there yet?


I have now deleted the last post due to confusion...........not mine, yours.
Im still laughing.........
If you didn't read it, don't ask!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

can't wait

Well guys, apparently the stargates are aligning on Sunday 17th. In view of all the extremely weird, exciting and interesting stuff thats been happening to me personally of late, Im waiting with bated breathe for that one!!!
Im going to the cottage.......

check it out yourselves. This lady is amazing too.....

Hah, you got it here first

"My cousin Cyndy aka anoymous has the whole blogging world talking.......who is she, who is she........why doesnt she blog ?well, she is my cousin, mother of three totally original, strong & unique blue stars like herself. She is real, strong, complex & beautiful. She is earthy & sensible ( sorry Cyndy) . we sahre a common Uncle ( sorry uncle Al) and have known each other all our lives & I mean lives.She likes me just the way I am & knows all of my secrets- well one in particular & thats another story.I wish she would start a weblog- she is so much more fun than I am........."

NOW we know........actually, we don't know much more than before.
Come on anonymous, blogyouknowyouwanna!!!!!!

Interesting things that happen when your kids are all in highschool

  • Head lice stop coming home with your kids (a fact that I and my wallet and all of my spare time are truelly grateful for)
  • Mothers can stop hiding their hairbrushes in hard to reach places in fear of catching the above
  • Money goes much less further than it did a short while ago
  • Kmart stops being the in place to shop (bugger)
  • The youngest slowly stops being treated like the plague by siblings
  • The oldest starts to be embarrassed about crappy test results in subjects that the younger siblings have beaten him in
  • Swear words become cool instead of naughty
  • No one is fooled into thinking carrot sticks are better than LCM's
  • Pizza is suddenly better than Macca's
  • Hair grows and is removed in secret rituals involving using all of mums new razors and leaving old ones in the packet
  • Mothers start hiding razors in secret hard to reach places that hairbrushes used to be in
  • Hair grows in the bathtub and needs secret ritual involving lawn mowers and weed killer to remove it
  • Hair also grows in plug holes and hard to reach corners
  • High 5 turns into Death Meets Sally in a Doorway and Cuts Her 3@#*#^ Head Off
  • I love you mummy is now pronounced "don't you know anything" (with a silent stupid)
  • Bodies distort
  • Pimples grow, very large and painful looking
  • Young girls wop history then hate their mothers for punishing them

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


My reference to you all being boring was ONLY BECAUSE NO-ONE HAD POSTED ANYTHING YET and I was bored....
Now everyone has a much more exciting life than me today, with the possible exception of Kathleen, who is recovering from dental trauma and Ms Lizabeth who is sad......
As for Miss Tesah.....well, what can I say, she OBVIOUSLY has an exciting life, Im so impressed!!!
She is the only person I know who has legs that go all the way up to her ears......
My kids are making videos of each other and now I know the secret to making teenage boys talk...just put them in front of a movie camera.
Its amazing!!!!

my day so far

  • woke up and got up
  • drank lots of coffee, breathed in smoke, contemplated going back to bed, sigh
  • made untold lunches and contemplated going back to bed
  • woke children and darlin' and got em moving whilst contemplating going back to bed
  • waved goodbye, bless em all
  • ingested more coffee and smoke
  • checked out blogs, your all boring, so am I
  • tried in vain to make page 2 of the gallery on our website but couldn't do it because someone forgot to tell me something that I am supposed to KNOW!!!!
  • felt extremely annoyed and resentful for 5 minutes
  • ingested several pieces of soy and linseed toast which was very good except for the dead swine that was draped over it (Ihave a thing for dead swine)
  • stared into space, did 50 loads of washing (thankyou for the sun, I like it when I get my wishes), hung 17 pairs of jeans, 24 towels, 35 socks (dunno where number 36 is), numerous t-shirts and undies on the line, ran out of pegs and had to double up. My dogs eat pegs, good roughage they say
  • looked at current painting and felt sick
  • went back to bed
  • got out of bed to answer phone
  • went back to bed and had conversation with erstwhile catholic honours student daughter who ate her lunch very loudly in my ear the whole time
  • got out of bed and gave up that particular wish
  • took 400 photos of my darlin's pots
  • cleaned the bathroom
  • got a phone call from 14 year olds school informing me that said child wopped history class today and left school grounds and is in big poo, hmmmm
  • put various things away so I would stop tripping over them
  • checked out blogs and websites
  • got a phone call from Jen (see link) and had very interesting conversation about blockages in Uranus!!
  • realised that when I said I had 7 houses in Libra I had no idea what I was talking about and lied to you all by accident. I do however have an intersection or some such thing that Im going to find out more about
  • made a decision to only attend those classes I really have to for a couple of weeks
  • grounded 14 year old from indoor soccer forever and confiscated music machine (most painful)
  • cooked curry
  • lost most popular mother award again
  • blogged

thats about it for now....

Whats up on planet earth

This lady has been sending out energy alerts that could have been describing my life lately. Go have a look in the archives.....

Monday, September 11, 2006

wet, wet ,wet

Okay guys, enough is enough. I know rain is good and cleansing and the earth loves it and all that jazz but unless someone buys me a clothes drier I'll be in big trouble soon.
My clothes-horse is ready to be put out of its misery, my children are becoming cleanclothingly challenged (it is a word now), I can't remember what a dry towel is and the dogs are drowning out there.
Just give me one nice breezy sunny day and I'll stop whinging, really, only it has to be tommorrow so I'm not at school.
Enough of that drivel.....
I have been out to the uni today buying paint (so there, Romy) and ink and charcoal. Yes, I know I only needed paint but......
And I have made my darlin' take me to Woollies so the hoards get fed again. Another day, another National Debt coulda been paid if only they would just stop eating type affair.
My bathroom is one of those places you don't want to go to, so I'd better do something about that.
My kitchen/studio is full of stuff that has no right to be in a kitchen. I found my bra there this morning!
My rugs are wherever the bloody cat left them and all I can say is thank goodness for incense, at least it doesn't smell as bad as it looks.
Unfortunatly the kitty litter does smell as bad as it looks so that will be needing seeing to too. Bugger.
I'm not even going near the bedroom till I go to bed because I know the entire wardrobe is on the floor waiting for me to put it away and if I can't see it then I can pretend it's not really there.
This is the usual state of affairs around here.
Life goes on.
Better get on with it then....


Whoever invented smiley's has a lot to answer for!!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

and the heavens came pouring down

Wow. I'm sitting on the computer, well, AT the computer and the rain is pouring down, the sky is rumbling and groaning and it's all a bit weird.
It kind of feels like the earth is settling down too after August and some big clearing is happening on a scale unimaginable to us. Maybe thats why I'm so tired? I've often thought that a part of my being here at this time is something to do with my energy helping the earth in some way. I know it happens while I sleep. Hmmmm...
Another strange thing happening to me this week is that I keep seeing little 'tears' in the air. Its almost like a really quick glimpse into somewhere else but its over before I can register what it is. Does this make sense to anyone else or am I just a rambling strange one?
I can't see Angel Day being a huge success if this weather keeps up. Still, Im sure the angels are in control of that...
First Steve Irwin and now Peter Brock. Been a big week for aussie icons leaving the planet hasn't it. Enjoy your freedom guys!
Anyway, I have posters to make (on the assumption that the angels are in control) and a new painting to start. I am totally driven with this artwork. Its rather amazing actually. I feel like Im getting ready for something and the work has to be ready even though I don't know what the 'something' is. I suppose 'more will be revealed' when I can't get in the way. Nasty habit of mine!
See you tommorrow...

Friday, September 08, 2006


I think its finished.
I hope its finished.
Does it look finished to you?

Still whingin..

Yep, I'm still whinging. My body hurts, my head is stuffed, my energy is low and I am full of undigested chocolate.
I feel like crap.
Came home early from school today and slept till not very long ago. I just don't know whats going on with me right now, but I do know that I'm mightily sick of it. I have been asleep more than awake this past week or so and still want more sleep. Hmmmm
I did the little numbers thing on Raihn's blog (thanks) and found out that I am a 3 (life), a 6 (soul) and a seven (name) and far too many hours old and that christmas ( the old c word!) is too close for comfort.
Funnily enough my darlin' is also a 6 (soul) and a 7 (name) but a 6 (life). Guess we must like each other after all. Heehee
Am working on a new painting that is proving to be a challenge. Grrrrrr....
Trying to be enthused about photography but every time I stuff up a print (very often) its another dollar in the bin that I could spend on something food for the hoards or more importantly, paint for me!
Am also trying to be enthused by a sculpture teacher who thinks that threading things on a pole is the ultimate way to express your creativity, yeah right, and to draw something that resembles a landscape of the earth variety. Its all too bloody hard.
I wonder if swearing incurs karma? I've been doing quite a bit of it this week..
Oh well, you have these weeks I suppose.
I am looking forward to doing International Angel Day on sunday with the crew. Should be great.
I think Germaine Greer did herself some damage this week...silly cow should find something real to whinge about.
I wonder if you're thinking that about me right now.........
I'm so grateful that its Friday.......

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Lazy me..

Can't be bothered to blog tonight.
So why are you here I hear you ask.......wellll
I'm just an addict after all you know, and
after reading through everyone elses blogs
(and my the tribe is growing)
and then looking through everyone elses comments to find my anonymous friend,
(where are you anonymous Cyndi? I miss you......blurgl),
I just havn't got time actually.
I need to sleep, again

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Im buggered...

After the exciting and hectic (and sometimes painful) energy of the past month I think I have finally landed back on the ground. Very tired still, bit flat, bit blah blah.
that's okay. This too shall pass.
In spite of all the intensity I have pretty much totally loved it all.
It feels like things are finally moving and shaking and its been a long time coming.
I took my paintings to school today and showed my favorite teacher. She loved them which was nice, and I got some nice feedback from some class members too.
that's cool coming from people who don't have a clue what I or my paintings are about.
She tells me she has to come with me for the framing, that they will sell for sure and that Newcastle sucks for selling art. Hmmmm. I knew that already. It'd be nice to get connected with a gallery in Sydney or something eventually.
But Michael said they would send me the means to get this work 'out there' and so I trust.
I trust.
Pretty good for someone who didn't trust anything including herself, especially herself, a few short years ago. One day I will tell you my story in this blog.
But not tonight.
Im off to write reviews and go to bed.
My darlin' and I have been together for 45 full moons now!!
Who would have thought........

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Things i'm not too sure about....

  • Why, if I'm doing what I want to do, I don't want to go to school tommorrow even though I've just had a week off?
  • Why a shoe full of 13 holes, made from thread, costs $120?
  • What the deal is with nine moons?
  • Why, when I have slept during the day and all night for the past 9 days, am I still so tired?
  • Why 16 year old boys don't speak? Is it an Adams Apple growth requirement?
  • Why indoor soccer games for kids start at 8.30 pm?
  • Why my son has more money than I do and still wants $3 for a maxi-bon?
  • Why he has more money than me anyway? (must have something to do with me paying for all the maxi-bons)
  • What I can feed a 13 year old who doesn't like meat, chicken, fish, vegetables or fruit? Kibble?
  • Why my back hurts constantly?
  • Why is the sky blue? Oh, thats right, Jaqui told me...
  • How these paintings will get 'out there' for people to see???
  • Why I leave everything till the last minute? eg: 3 reviews due on Thursday!
  • Why I'm not excited about drawing the landscapes I CAN see?
  • Why just about everything actually?
Meet my friend Jen.
She has just started her blog.
She's one of us.
Just go to Jen in my link list.
Have a great day

Monday, September 04, 2006

For Raihn

Thank you for tonight Blue Raihn.
You ARE.....

more of that...

I'd like to get lost
in the lazy place
in the spaces in between
and float around
flying free
and never
coming down

25 things you don't know about me...

  • I am an extrovert hiding behind a shy person
  • I can't dance
  • I wish I could
  • I am an e-type jag (my father emmigrated to oz from england to go to uni and become an architect and buy an e-type jag. He subsequently met my mother and got me)
  • I once played a pirate in a school play and had to wear a glue on beard. I was very handsome.
  • Between the ages of 12 and 13 I had a migraine every second day. Now when I feel migraines coming on I tell them to p#% off ........and they do
  • I have been molested, beaten and abused by someone else and by myself for 75% of my life. I chose not to live that life anymore.......and I don't.
  • It took me a long time to learn that I had choices. The choices I make today are the life I live tommorrow.
  • I am very stubborn. This can be a good or a bad thing depending on what I am being stubborn about. Being stubborn doesn't work with 2 year olds, cats or dirty toilets
  • I am sick of smoking
  • I love my kids but I do not own them. And vice versa
  • My kids think I'm weird but love me anyway
  • I could read the bible when I was 3 years old. I remember reading encyclopedias for fun when I was about 7
  • When I was 11 months old I was drawing people on the kitchen floor tiles with carrots
  • I am sooo Pisces
  • My life is full of Librans. My mother, my partner, my child, my ex-husband to name a few. I have 7 houses in Libra in my star chart.
  • I am short sighted
  • I am not very organised. I write lots of lists and lose them
  • I once had 3 children under the age of 4 and a 7 year old. Needless to say I didn't sleep for 4 years. I was very tired....and very organised (only time ever)
  • In spite of everything I can be quite naive at times. I like that about myself
  • I have always felt a strong connection with indigenous peoples and Jewish people.They are survivors and I can so relate to that
  • I don't 'worship' anything.
  • I read constantly
  • I want a little blue car soon (are you listening universe!)

another beauty..

Here is another article of interest for us.
I have posted a link to this lady's website in my side bar and also a link to mine and my darlin's website, Sacred Drums. Ours is a work in progress, has been for a while now, it's been a very busy year.
Any, have a look and see what we do when we aren't donig everything else!

Sunday, September 03, 2006



New symbol
to be used with intent for
moving forward from past emotional pain
and blockages.
I should also say that while I believe that this symbol
will work for anyone
it is also true that we are recieving our own set of
healing symbols if we are open.
This is one of mine.
Universal and personal at the same time.
Its all about intent.
The power is in the intention.
If you ask for something, be prepared to get it.
We ARE manifesting our own realities.


Well, here's the other one I did this week.
While I was doing this I experienced very intense 'letting go' of stuff around my mother,
which is probably the most significant and hardest to deal with 'issue' that I have.
So, I am posting the symbol that is the main focus of this piece next
and warning you that if you use it,
and please do
.....IT WORKS.
Recognise it Elizabeth??
You should, its the one I pumped into your chakra.......

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Well, well, well

Far out. What a reaction to a painting.
Has everyone read Raihn's message from Ryone?? If not then do so immediately!
I have so many questions.
At first I thought the large figure was male but then Mother Mary came to me as well.
Do you see (in the first photo in Phew) the other face looking from in between the other two figures?
It got painted out but its so obvious in that photo.
Its female too.
And yes, I think the being in the corner is someone very important.
everybody's reaction to this painting has been to be stunned by the feelings generated, peace and much love and maybe a little sorrow too.
My darlin' worried over it like it was a little child when I was highlighting the figures, in case I wrecked it.
Me too! It was very intense and I didn't know why.
Now, after the message from Ryone, I do.
I will bring it to the cottage on Monday night.
I wrote a poem, I seem to do that when I'm feeling intense:
behind my eyes
look and see
in a moment such as this
just look
behind my eyes
and feel
the never ending bliss
see the spark
the blinding spark
forever shining bright
come with me
and ride the spark
floating in the light
drifting, soaring, way up there
in the nothing
and the all
that we are
and I am

Friday, September 01, 2006


Well, I decided not to do very much to it at all, it kind of did itself.
And yes Jaqui, I so know what you mean.....


Wow, I'm human again....
well, back to almost normal anyway.
Those of us who read Raihn's blog (see links) will have read the information from Micheal regarding August and it's intense energy work on us.
No wonder we didn't get advance warning of that one!!!
Today is the first of September and I have woken up with no flu, no sore kidney and just a few residual aches. Far out!
Cancelling quack appointment forthwith...yay.
I started a new painting this morning and look what's appeared!!!
Any input on this guys? Obviously not finished but I had to share.
Anyway, the sun is shining, my darlin's home and I feel good.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
I wonder whats next????