Thursday, April 30, 2009

The day that time forgot.....

This was a drawing from art school.....he looks like I feel :)


Gawd

Thank god that's over

Day from hell indeedy

Month end

Banking that wouldn't balance

Urgent submissions that needed submissing (:) urgently simultaneously with crooked banking and month ends and other such crap

Blood tests that needed doing during month ends

Mothers who are VERY constipated and feeling like shit (no pun intended) needing to do urgent submissing and month ends because they are too stubborn to let their daughters do the final bank EFT .......so they sit there groaning away looking like death and making daughters feel guilty

Crap everywhere in monthendingsubmissingorifices

Chemo to do tomorrow ....... poor mum is not looking forward to it and is making noises about not 'doing this shit if it feels like this all the time'....she will though, at least twice, until they know if it is working or not.

Poor mama.

You see what I mean?????

GAWD

Must get to gratitude

Ummmmm

I am grateful that today is over and that Tahni will be in the office tomorrow and will stuff all those statements into envelopes instead of me :)

I am grateful that Shelli has been to school 2 days in a row and is not dragging her arse around looking like someone stole her dog

I am grateful for my bed that is warm and waiting with no bastard in it so I can snore if I want to!

That will do

ahhhhhh


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Whinesday again

This is my son Josh, doing his thang in Germany, he is into Parkour
( which is a sporty type thing involving throwing oneself all around the place )


I have been very busy today

I am now tired again but not quite a zombie

Mum is sick today...very nauseous (how the hell to spell?) (aha spellcheck is my god) and feeling unwell....any tips you chemo veterans out there? Please. She also feels like her throat is closing up and her mouth has been bleeding. Grrrrrrr

Month end tomorrow on top of all that....triple grrrrrrr

I cooked a meal with vegetables tonight...just to ward off the scurvy you know

That is all really

Life is thrilling

Why is it that when you are busy and running in and out the door every bastard under the sun wants to come in and shoot the shit with you for half an hour?

And why is it that frikken yobbos from hell who are obviously bikers and druggies and jailbirds think that I will rent them a house because they tell me they are great people?

And why is it that sometimes I believe them and then they prove to me that I was right in the first place??

I had to miss my 6 week check up on Monday to get the damn house finished. So now I will hopefully get there next/this Monday instead.....I cheated though and had a bath yesterday!

So there!

I haven't had a single piece of falling out guts and stuff either. Hrmph

Hmmmmmmm

Goodnight people....see you in dreamland



Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Tuesday blahblah

Mum and my nephew, Breock.

After not sleeping till 1 am last night, due to being over tired I guess, I am now officially a zombie.

I have lurched my way through the day, eaten Garlic Prawn Pizza and am now having a cup of tea

The house is almost silent

The girls are in their rooms doing girl things

The dog is somewhere doing dog things

Mum is still feeling okay. A bit naseaus (?) but nothing drastic. I think her fear of the chemo has been conquered :) and so she is a lot more relaxed. And not in much pain either strangely enough. Something has shifted in her somehow.

I will catch up tomorrow, not that life will be much different

My bed is calling me


Monday, April 27, 2009

ouch

I would write a post but my fingers wont work properly

Farking brothers house

yawn stumble zzzzz

Back tomorrow


Saturday, April 25, 2009

Little update

Too bloody tired to post much today...been painting window sills and other such stuff and am absolutely argh

Just to let you know that mums chemo went okay. They actually gave her the two lots yesterday, not the one we were expecting.

Whatever the steroid anti nausea drug is that they give her is.....I want some!

She has been very well thank you and bouncing around off the walls almost!

She's been to the dawn service, then to my house for a coffee and to drag me out off my bum, and been down the house with us today DOING stuff instead of feeling like a bump on a log....not too much stuff but anything is an improvement for her right now. I have tried to keep her quiet as I'm not too sure she won't crash after the 3 days of steroids are up.

But she is feeling more positive, today at least, about doing it, and had has not felt sick at all.

Two more days and Daniels house must be finished for the tenants to go into...almost there....GAWD I am so unfit.


Friday, April 24, 2009

Meme's and Awards ....argh

"The Lemonade Award is for sites which show great attitude and/or gratitude!"


I have received this from the lovely Catherine, who writes beautiful things.

I'm passing it on to

Strawberry girl

Natalie

Sarah Lulu

Daria

Helen




The Honest Scrap Award From Strawberry Girl.

The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award.

Oh god, 10 things...ok...ummmm

  1. I am 43 years old, going on 12 or 112 on any given day
  2. I have 4 children...Tahni, Joshua, Kayla and Shelli ...who are all very different and who make my life interesting, to say the least. I do love them all dearly though.
  3. I have a secret crush on Bagman.....this is due to my left over co-dependancy issues and we are agreeing to stay apart to avoid pain and heartache :)
  4. I smoke.....but not for too much longer.
  5. I am not a good house keeper...even when i have time I have much more important things to do. As long as its reasonably tidy and the bathroom is clean (oh okay and the kitchen) I DON"T CARE!
  6. Blue is my favourite colour...all blues.....and turquoises
  7. I hate Property Management...but you already know that don't you.
  8. I haven't had a drink or drug for 8 years in September......yes, I am an addict, and no, I don't count prescription drugs that currently save my sanity as long as I'm not abusing them
  9. I am very glad I sorted myself out around my mother BEFORE she got sick
  10. I am not a violent person but would sometimes love to slam someone!
That's it....in a hurry...sorry

Passing this one onto 5 people, yes I know I am cheating but hey, I don't have all day here :)

Audrey

Renee

Catherine

Gina


Wendy



AND I have been tagged by Natalie with this Meme



Meme Of the Moment.



1. What is your current obsession?

Surviving the day.


2.Which item of clothing do you wear often?


My bra.....for obvious reasons after one turns 40.


3.What's for dinner?

Are you kidding???? Buggered if I know.....


4.What are you listening to?

Birds, all sorts of noisy birds, someone hammering, the dog scratching his aaa...bum.


5.Say something to the one that tagged you.

Hi Natsy! I WILL get there one day, I willllllllll...


6.Favorite vacation spot?

My bed.


7. What I'm reading right now?

Blogs and some Kellerman gory stuff, whatever I can get my hands on.



8. Four words to describe myself.

Tired, exhausted, angry and grateful, I am working on grateful, faking it till I am making it, did I say tired?



9.Guilty pleasure.

Chocolate


10. ( reworked) What do you think you will feel about your life when all is said and done?

I have no idea, thank god that's over, probably, I did my best usually/sometimes/hopefully.



11. What do you look forward to?


I look forward to having time just for me.



I now get to tag some others:

Daria, Audrey, Helen, Gina and ummmmm Bagman and Butler!

I'm not linking these...I have run out of time!

Oh yes, IT IS TAHNI'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

She is 24! I am OLD :(

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl!!!

Have a great day everyone :)



Thursday, April 23, 2009

I don't have an interesting title in me.....

The dog ate the lap top cord :(

This means I now have the PC spread out on my table pretending to be a laptop until the funny little computer man buys me a new cord at the computer fair on Sunday....

Is it illegal to de tooth your dog???

I would still feed him...mush and stuff.....grrrr

I don't blame the dog...people who know dogs are going through chewing frenzies should not leave things they don't want chewed where the dog can get them....all this means is I need to put the whole house on a high bench top right???

Except that he is just tall enough to pull things off the edges of the benches too....hence loaf of bread earlier in the week, or was that last week???? Arghhhhhhhhhh

I am very tired

Still...... yes I will take some iron tablets Renee

Mum cried today because the blood test lady was nice to her while sticking sharp things in her only twice

She is stressed out and terrified of chemo, of dying, of everything really.

I wish I knew a way to make it easier for her.

It is hard.

On a bright note, I have received a beautiful bound book of 'my' Curlicursive story from John in England, how cool is that!

He is a lovely man and has also written a story for my Shelli and is writing one for my Kayla too.

Sometimes you meet people you will probably never lay eyes on and they make a difference to your life. I have met several of you on here and I appreciate each of you.

I also, through this blog, have received some wonderfully supportive emails.

It is nice, beyond nice, to know people care out there and that the world is not such a cold unfeeling place as we sometimes perceive it to be.

It is full of 'nice' stuff too.

It's all about balance I suppose.



Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Another day....

Well, it is Wednesday

I have had 4 hours sleep, serves me right for reading half the night

It is eerily quiet here today

I will not complain

I don't know why I am always so tired, it's not as if I am doing anything particularily physical, just brain strain I guess.

Stress.

My days are mostly repetitive and quite boring

Sometimes my life feels like Groundhog Day

That's okay, I'm not actually whinging, for once, just observing.

I need some variety one of these days is all :)

I would like to be able to do some things for the people I care about

I would like to have lunch and stuff with Lisa and assorted others

I would like to visit Nat before her baby turns 6

I would like to paint John a picture

and send some cool stuff to people who would like it

I would like to go shopping for something not to wear to the office, with some money that I earned for myself doing something I like. I don't get paid for this 'job'...it is a labour of love as there is no money

I would like to clean my windows and change my house around a bit

I would like the energy and the time to be 'me' whoever she be....

Oh well, one of these dyas I will have all of that won't I

But I probably won't have my mum

Bittersweet

sigh


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

add-en-dumb

I could probably be a bit more specific :)

Chemo education appointment was for 2.00 pm

We got in to see a DVD for 25 mins at 3.30 pm'

Then we waited for half an hour for an extremely harried chemo nurse to come throw some information at us and at 4.15 we were done.

Apparently 2 nurses were out sick and chaos had ensued all day at the chemo palace. Also all the Monday chemo people have to have their blood tests at the hospital and the pathology lab went down for the morning so people booked in for 9 am were getting treatment at 1 pm.......argh it was.

AND the lovely DVD was full of nice positive people talking all about how chemo was giving them a chance to live. Isn't that nice for a Stage 4 patient who is going to die to watch, hmmmm.

And then today was chaos

The modem in the office died overnight so no internet

Excellent for business

Twas eventually found to be a dead power cord so was not too much of a drama but it took 2 hours of interaction with Telstra to find out nothing and one visit from the funny little computer man up the road (and $20) to fix in 5 minutes.......grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Intersperse that with all the rest of the crap that happens in the orifice and my day pretty much sucked.

Oh well, I have come home to a schmick clean house thanks to the K child and a dog who has eaten nothing but dog food for a couple of days so I'm happy

Sort of.....

groan


One small thing

I have one thing to say about chemo education yesterday and all about today in general

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH


That is all


Monday, April 20, 2009

whoopee

6.33 am

Grrrrrrr been up since 4.30....yawn

Spent yesterday up a ladder tidying up messy painting at Daniel's house

Paid for that with aches and pains last night

Today mum and I go in for 'chemo training' whatever the hell that is.....

Friday she starts chemo

She is not the most positive person just now

Oh well, can't say I blame her

It's pouring down rain here

Soggy, bit cold, here comes winter....yuk

Must go do the day

ho friggen hum de dum



Saturday, April 18, 2009

YAAAWWWWNNNNN

I am boring

Been awake since 2am

Am drooping fast

The dog ate my curtains again, this time it is irrepairable

The K child left him in the house when she went out

I am going to kill the dog

I will be in jail tomorrow because of killing the dog

I hope the judge is female

She will understand

Am trying to stay awake till a decent hour

To avoid waking at 2 am again

Argh

Friday, April 17, 2009

Frikday at the orifice

Thinking of starting my own version of Friday Shootout!

It will be known as Friday And Every Other Day Tenant Shot In The Arse Day!

FAEODTSITAD for short.....snort

Please come to Lemon tree Passage and join me...all you need is a big gun with soft bullets and I will give you free range and take photos!

Excellent!

Or for all my junky tenants...Friday Shootupthedaybeforerentday!

Or ummmmmm oh shut up Michelle!

Someone could get killed!

Yes well, so that is how my day has been

I am now going to eat a lot and go to bed

I have a book that's waiting to be read

My life is so thrilling

BTW....I spoke some more to mum about Palliative Care and its PAIN AND SYMPTOM MANAGEMENT qualities and she has agreed that it may well be wise.

Thank god for that.

She is feeling better today after sleeping all day yesterday....

Goodnight, even if it is only 6 pm!

Oh yes, today the dog ate a loaf of bread and a full toilet roll. He is such a clever boy!



Zombie Chickens Rule!


Woohoo!

I wanted one of these and the lovely Audrey has given me one!

Thank you Audrey........I shall covet no longer.

I don't know about deserving it but I am certainly going to keep it!

The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken-excellence, grace, and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, these amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least five other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by not choosing wisely or not choosing at all.

I shall pass it on to

Bagman and Butler......I would certainly fight through screaming zombie chickens for him!
Do zombies scream????

My lovely Lisa....even though she doesn't 'do' awards she is getting this one!

Diane.....because I like her 'stuff' and she cares.

Reggie Girl...for the same reason.

John.....because inside his stories you will always find a message of hope and love.




Thursday, April 16, 2009

Daily Drivel

Well, I am coursed up for another year, what a boring waste of time that was......they read you information out of a book for several hours, give you a test sheet and then GIVE YOU THE PAGE NUMBERS THE ANSWERS ARE ON!

I passed of course...heheehe....bloody frik

I don't think the dog ate anything yesterday.....except a couple of empty toilet rolls and a plastic bag with an onion in it. Weird animal...must be teething...or else the valium gave him the munchies :)

Please send a few calming thoughts Helen's way today as she is having a rough time with her little screaming princess.

Mum and Kayla are safely home. Mum is shattered. Pain is not her friend this week.

Shelli has girlfriends staying over which has not happened for far too long so yay!

My internet at home is on go slow, due to many downloads 'magically' happening this month, so if I haven't been to see you lately it is because it takes 4 years to open your pages....back to normal tomorrow.

Today is the first day I have felt a bit like myself since the bloody surgery. My swelling seems to be going down which is good...I can see that, in time, I will have my 'normal' stomach back. Although, if I don't get some exercise soon there will be no hope for my arse! I have been consuming chocolate at a mad pace for 4 weeks......argh. Enough!

My scar is itchy but it is really weird to scratch it because it is numb. How can it be itchy if it is numb??? Weird.

My house looks like several hobo's have taken up residence...it is very sad :(

Too bad.

The maid will come one day I'm sure.......

Have a nice day people and thank you for all of your comments, they have lifted me up as usual!

I especially like Vevay's way of charging the camera!

I am a cactus mum!

I love blogger

PS Butler and Bagman has/have stalked me on Facebook!

I wonder if he can play Wordscraper???

Hmmmm


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

grumblebum part 2

Didn't get out of the office till 6.15 tonight ..........grrrr

So busy was I, and people wouldn't go away and I kept making mistakes

And the dog ate the camera charger while I was busy and not looking

(that's 3 shoes, a paintbrush, my handle off my hand mirror, a camera charger, a diposable razor, 2 socks and a bottle of valium for him this week.......the pound is looking gooder and gooder I tell you :)

But I got it all done.....I hope

Am having a very quiet giggle at myself, on the inside, for being such a cranky poo

Good news! Mums bone scan was clear.

No cancer there at least......

I bought up palliative care to her today and she nearly ate my head off.

It would make sense to get in touch with them and have someone to discuss pain managment and such with but I guess it is a bit too much reality for her to deal with......she doesn't realise that palliative care is not just for end stage cancer patients I think....and to even think about it is too hard so......we will continue with no support won't we. I will have to talk further with her about this at some point. She needs someone who isn't the hospital doctor to talk to about her 'stuff'. Symptom managment I think they call it. But it needs a referral, that SHE has to ask for......hmmm.

Oh well.....that is today done with

By the way, my father is a very intelligent, gentle and lovely man....he is also a pain in the arse, a depressive and an alcoholic :0)

I am a chip off the old block!

Argh


Grumblebum

I will not bore you with my mood today, then again maybe I will....

My day started with a wannabe migraine that I have headed off at the pass.....I don't know why this works but I tell it to p off and it does....still, my head ached for a while there

My dog got into my handbag and ate my bottle of valium......well, he ate the bottle, I don't think he ate the valium....I am watching him closely though. Apparently they can handle a few but I don't know how many were in there to begin with ....... GRRRR

I had people lined up at the office door when I arrived this morning and so it went on.....quiet for now though

My father, who lives in Perth, on the other side of the country, sends me an email every few weeks asking how my mum is. He doesn't have the guts to ring her and says he "cannot forget the past" as his excuse.....they were married when she was 16 and he was 20, because she was pregnant with me and a whole long drama ensued......they split when I was 3 people...that would be 40 years ago!! I am getting p ed off with him now. I haven't had an actual phone call from him for years as he is......oh stuff it, I'm not telling the whole story...suffice it to say, my dad is a gutless, usually drunken whimp and I am cranky with him.

In answer to his latest email enquiring how mum is and asking if I am okayI sent him this reply

"Mum has another primary cancer in her lung. It is the one causing the grief. She is okay considering. In a bit of pain always now. They start chemo on the 24th in the hope that it will help with pain and prolong her time. She has a tumour on her adrenal gland and enlarged lymph nodes throughout her stomach area. She also has fluid around her heart, but thats ok for now and she had a bone scan the other week that we still don't know the results of yet. So, yes, she's pretty fucked actually.

I am tired, still recovering from my surgery, it has taken the wind out of my sails a bit.I had a UTI and a chest infection but seem to be over that now.

Shelli has been pretty down. Shit is happening.

Define okay

We are surviving. Life is relentless."

Maybe he will get my point, maybe not.

Men are stupid. Not all of them, just the ones I am unfortunate to be dealing with lately.

(Not including any blog men in that BTW....I like you guys and don't know you personally enough to label you stupid at all......:)

So, I am a bit grotty today

I have a course to do tomorrow so I can continue on being the idiot in this office....for this honour we must pay many $$...........how ironic.

Darlin has gone home. He thinks coming for 2 days a week and rubbing my sore back and vacuuming my floor is all I need from him....PAH

Not going there either....

I will go now before I say something really mean :0)

Bloody.......




Monday, April 13, 2009

Mondayitis at easter



Have been having a very boring weekend

Consisting of clipping my dog so he now looks like a NOT FAT poodle instead of a cocker spaniel...and is prancing around thus....I could have made a whole new dog out of the hair that I cut off him :)

I have also sold another house....that is 4 now.....the last of the cheapies just about

I have not had lunch with Lisa grrrrrrrr

I have slept a lot and am getting mighty sick of this tired body crap I tell you!

I have eaten some chocolate too.....

Just me and darlin home today, Shelli was all night movie marathoning last night and is staying tonight with her girlfriend, she is feeling a bit better after a couple of up and down days....yay

Tahni has gone back to the 'convent'. Interesting things may be developing there in that she is having second thoughts methinks.....hmmmm.

I would like to see that golden girl fulfilling her potential one of these days and being happy instead of cranky. She did not want to go......and will be back next week for chemo.

She needs to be out saving the world not playing kitchen maid. That is all I am saying about that for now.

It is raining here, lightly, and it is quite nice and very quiet

I hope everyone had a lovely break.



Sunday, April 12, 2009

Guess what!



It's Lisa's Birthday!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND!!!!

Woo hoo


Saturday, April 11, 2009

growth


Someone pulled my wings off

When I was but a girl

The scars still burn

sometimes

Once I glued my wings back on

They don't work properly now

But I try to flap them

anyway

Last night I pulled my fake wings off

threw them in the bin

I have new ones growing now

slowly


And the scars only burn

while the new growth breaks through






Not a very good poem I know, but it means well :)





A request....

I need some suggestions

I want to get me a collection of nice uplifting beautiful music

Please give me some input

My mind is a blank

And my house is too quiet

I miss music and I am sick of what I have

I like anything

Except country and strange techno doof doof

Real music please

Music that makes you FEEL

Thanks :)


Friday, April 10, 2009

Happy Easter and shiny dudes

For some reason my fingers keep typing Eater instead of Easter

This may be anticipation :)

My friend John, at Smoke Rings & Matterings, has written a wonderful Easter tale

I think you should go and check it out

He has a way with words does John

and is a nice guy too

You could say he is a bit of a shiny dude himself

Have a good one people



Thursday, April 09, 2009

P.S

I would never really kick my dogs head off!

Just in case you thought I was serious.....

Psych appointment with Shelli was okay. He has increased her antidepressant as he thinks she has probably plateau-ed (how to spell?) on it and its too early into treatment for that.

So, hopefully she will feel the benefit soon. She already seems a little lighter just knowing something is being done to change things.

I am sitting in this bloody office surrounded by crap that has been waiting for weeks for me to get to it. All of my 'bad' tenants are being true to form......argh, I would like to kick their heads off too :)

Just to clarify...my SCAR looks really good actually, you can hardly see it, it is the strange flabby crap above it that is disconcerting :(

I am very tired

Thank goodness for Easter Holidays

Have a lovely one won't you!!




Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Grrrrrr

First things first...anyone in need of a good pee yourself laugh go see Lisa RIGHT NOW

Soooooo funny!

On to my drivel

I hate today

Counselling with Shelli....all good, we are going to get a new one, set in motion

Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to review meds

Fine fine fine

Was in the office all morning

Into town, first long drive since op, was ok

Went to MAUL, as Lisa calls it, to pick up layby with 15 year old manipulation QUEEN

Spent too much money on things that weren't in the layby

Came home to FRIGGING RIPPED CURTAINS ALL OVER THE FLOOR BY FRIGGING MONGREL PURE BRED BASTARD DOG WHO GOES BALLISTIC WHEN LEFT ALONE

Did not kick dogs head off.....due to extreme self control and post op scar tissue and the pressing need for me to keep my guts in my gut and not...oh well, you know, not in there

Have not spoken to dog since and will not ever again

See curtains in pic below......imagine now in several shreds with rail pulled out and on the floor

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Now I am in a filthy mood and am very tired and my mother and daughter got to Byron alright so that's great and wonderful and I am eating dinner because I am STARVING to death and GOING TO BED!

friksnortplurgh

Will my stomach ever look normal again??? Am I destined to have an overhang and strange puffy bits forever?? Tell me it goes away please.....TELL MEEEEEEEEE


Proof





I told you I have been painting......

Hopefully I will get to finish them over the weekend

Woo hoo

Through the glass doors is my front yard.....

One day I will have time to decorate my house a bit :)



Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Yawn

Gawd

I can see why they say take 6 weeks to recover from your surgery, 3 is not enough but will have to do....

Frik

Mum is going to Byron tomorrow, a last minute plan that includes Kayla because it is her turn

Despite this leaving me here I am pleased

Who knows if she will get the chance again

Tahni is with me till Sunday then she is off too, she will return when it's time for chemo to start

Until we know how mum will react to the chemo, this is the plan

Byron, for those of you who don't know, is the beautiful Byron Bay here in New South Wales......my sister lives there and they will fly up tomorrow afternoon for a week-ish

The office will be shut over the Easter weekend so I will be off for 4 days too....woo hoo...I will need it!

Tomorrow I go take Shelli for counselling and spend my art vouchers and go to the quack to see what other nasties she has in store for me :)

All is quiet in the office this afternoon, the birds are singing and the weather is warm but not hot

Autumn is here people

Soon it will be cold

Yuk

I need some new clothes

Nothing much going on here

Just the way I like it

yay


Monday, April 06, 2009

Groan snoff mumble bitch

Must have been a busy day if I am posting at 10 pm.....

Well, it was

Bloody office

But things got done

I think mum was about ready to have a nervous breakdown, so lucky I am better now.....grrr

At least I got a free dinner out of it :)

I drove a car today!

Only mums automatic and not very far but I did it and the sky did not fall in nor my insides fall out

I don't think I'm up to my manual yet though

I am pooped

I have just gotten rid of the bags under my eyes, pah!

Not for long though, I can tell you

Time for bed

Goodnight peoples

Smooches x 2000000000000



Sunday, April 05, 2009

Busy doing nothing

Shhhhh

I've been painting

Back to work tomorrow :(



Hello world - this is Tahni - Bye again


Tahni had to put her two cents in.....been like it all her life



Saturday, April 04, 2009

pssst

I think I am feeling a bit/lot better

I don't trust it yet though :)

Yesterday afternoon I had an enormous horrible panic attack, just what I needed, for no reason. As you can imagine I was undecided in the midst of it as to whether it actually was anxiety or if I was actually dying of something......valium sorted me so obviously I was not dying :0)

Today I did some painting, sort of

Darlin is here and has house elfed away and now I have a clean floor and a mowed yard and lots of voucher $$$ to spend on art supplies!!

Woo hoo

That is all for now

xxx



Friday, April 03, 2009

ahem

I am so boring I am not bothering to post today

This could be partly due to me staying up reading all night and not sleeping all day

I will be back tomorrow so watch out!

I would be feeling better if I could breathe


Poop

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Hallafriggenluyah!

Hrmph

Ended up back at the doctor today to get results of test yesterday.

Yes, I have a UTI PLUS some other yuckies floating around down there which I will know more about later.

PLUS I have a chest infection too........grrrrr.

No wonder I've been feeling like crap!

So, I am on TWO antibiotics with a possible third coming into play in the next few days.

Mind you, I had to TELL her to check my chest as my telling her I couldn't breathe properly yesterday seemed to fall on deaf ears.

I am sick of whinging about bodily functions now so that is that.

Except to say that I do feel a bit better today :)

I have slept all day so I am boring.

I am hungry so I will go eat lasagne now...and salad too...and maybe chocolate too.....

Then I will sleep again.

I am running out of books to read....

GASP!


Wednesday, April 01, 2009

a little more


Hello friends

This is my son Joshua, who is in Germany.

I am blessed did you know?

I have received several emails and a parcel from 'strangers' today and yesterday that have lifted my spirits indeed.

It is amazing you know, that here in my house in my little suburb in Australia I can be truly touched by the generosity of people who, though I have never 'met' them, probably know me better in some ways than many whom I do know physically.

Thank you to those of you who have reached out today.

You made a difference!

I have been to the doctor and I do have an infected something in my pelvic area. Something she touched hurt like hell and I feel like shit.

She has tested for a UTI and I am started on an appropriate antibiotic. If it's not that then I will have to go have an ultra sound in a couple of days. I KNEW IT.......grrrrrrrrrrr

Actually, this local doctor is an idiot (seriously, every time I see her she gives me something that makes me sick, today she gave me a script for penicillin which I am allergic to, which I told her the other day, lucky the chemist is smart) and my usual GP is away so if I don't feel any better by tomorrow I will take me to the hospital I think. Better safe than sorry. I need to be well, I have things to bloody do!

Anyway, Tahni, who was due to go to Sydney tonight to do an exam tomorrow, is now staying home so I can stay home, poor kid. I don't want her driving in this rain anyway so it's a good thing really.

That's about it on the home front today. Shelli is home from school (again) and seems a bit brighter. We have an appointment next week with her counselor, who thinks she is probably reacting to all this stress and should be able to get through it. I think that, lovely though her counselor is, she doesn't seem to be doing it for Shelli and it might be time to try someone else. We will see, if I think she is in danger I will take her back to Nexus, though I don't think that is the answer either. But it is safe there. Sort of.

Anyway, that is all. It's still raining here, looks like it will be here for a while.

At least it's not snowing :0)




The day after yesterday

Feeling a bit better today

Have put my wading through the shit goggles back on

Thank you for caring people :)

I also think I may be a bit unwell, am going to the quack again this afternoon to try a different antibiotic and get tested for a UTI...something is amiss....my belly (under my navel) is tender and swollen and I don't feel 100% so poo to that......stupid nurse at the hospital didn't take all the water out when removing my catheter (yes ouch) and maybe that has created a problem???

Can't know.

Am home today anyway, and going back to bed.

YAY

Wild winds and rain here yesterday and last night and it's still wet and miserable today, though the sun is trying to peek through.