Thursday, March 15, 2007

am not

Hello
I am putting it out to you, the friends of my heart, and to the universe that this day is the beginning of my new life.

I am moving on from fear.

I am moving on from those things which I am not.

First things first, the greatest weight of this now.....

I am not an art student!

I am an artist, and shall now begin to think of my self as one

I will not go to school and be taught to do that which I dont want to do.

I will go to the place of learning and continue to draw because this feels good

I will not paint there

I cannot paint there as the past 2 months of trying have shown me. Various continuous happenings have made me attend only 3 painting classes so far this year. Last night I almost decided that I should leave and do "my thing"....

This morning I got up and thought "I will give it another go"....

so, I left late so as to get to the art shop and purchase a canvas to paint on and did so.
I get in the car outside of this shop to drive to TAFE and my phone rings...my son informs me that he is home with his sister because someone has broken into the school and splashed ACID everywhere so of course everyone was sent home.....so far so good.....okay say I and drive into school where there is not one single car park available so I drive out and the phone rings and it is shelli burbling about crap and in my haste to get of phone as I am actually on road driving car I knock new nose jewellery out of face almost and am driving around the corner holding it in, pulling over again to painfully push it back in.....there are no parking spaces nearby....a bus nearly takes me out....

These sort of things have been happening every week on these days...........grrrrrrrr

the point is I decided to come home and never go back to that class again.

I will paint here, in my space, the paintings that call me to paint them.

I will take steps to do things that will enable me to find me

I will not do things because somebody somewhere decided I should without consulting me first.

I will not let society dictate what I need to do

Why do I need a piece of paper to do what I do?

I didnt start school to get paper

I started to learn me and now it is blocking me so...

time to go

Im gone

YAY

Have a great day and be true to you

11 comments:

Lisa said...

WOW! and YES !
now hings will start to move big time
i am interested in the sistercircle .
movemnt.
good.
i have priues tonsilitis and may not make drumming to night...will see............groan snaffle snoff

rainbowspirit said...

YAY - I am feeling very much YAY...
You made the right decision 'chell, you know what is in your heart to be painted and have worked long and hard to be 'you', so removing the 'boxes' that people want to put 'us' in.
well done...
xoxo

Lisa said...

inspirational stuff dear shell bell, wonderful

Anonymous said...

well i say for it is worth you have made the right choice , i have done what is expected of me all my life , i find myself unhappy and sad. You go and paint just for you, no paper is needed . NO paper is needed to how you live your life either ,,,,, i wish you well and many blessings xxxxxxxx

Anchell said...

yes. I feel lighter already. Excellent

Kristy-Lee said...

Excellent to feel lighter. I bet you will produce some amazing stuff from inside YOU now that you are not being pushed from the outside.

Jacqui said...

its about time!!! good on you... i'm proud of you, our dear artist!! :)

Anchell said...

thats very profound miss notduff. hmmmmmm

Cyndy said...

Being pushed from the outside sounds like they're making you fart, and we know what that produces.

Go You!! Feeling lighter? Don't tell Jenny Craig; she'll want to know your secret....

Romy said...

You are truely a very gifted artist, my dear. I have a very special painting on my wall that is testament to that...anyone remotely not sure of that fact is welcome to come over for a viewing....includung you 'chell.

Kathleen said...

Yes!