sometimes....

Sometimes in life we do things we instantly regret

but there is no going back and undoing it

Sometimes we do something so shocking that others cannot pretend it wasn't

Sometimes the reason we do these things is that we need desperately to change and by doing this shocking thing we are unintentionally (or so we think at the time) creating the exact thing that will make us HAVE to look at ourselves with honesty and choose to do WHATEVER it takes to climb up from there

Sometimes we use this thing as an excuse to alienate ourselves from anything that will do us any good and we will use shame, anger, illness or whatever we can think of in our desperate scramble to cover up the reality that is ours

And the choice is all ours at that point

Sometimes we don't even see it through our self imposed deceptions

Sometimes we put ourselves at rock bottom to force us to have to climb up out of the pit and live
or stay there and die

Sometimes, if we face the fear head on and walk through it and all over it, we surprise ourselves

And the choice is still ours

And it always was