Thursday, February 01, 2007

hmmmmm....


I seem to have missed a day...oh dear.
Life is weird
How can you be tired when you have been sitting on a beach doing nothing for two weeks?
Beats me for sure, but I am ....buggered.
Maybe its the thought of starting school next week, maybe its the constant running around Ive done these past 4 days, maybe its time to stop for a little while and let things take care of themselves.......
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Im in a bit of a weird space in myself right now.
Am feeling very ambivilent (?) about life, nothing much is 'floating my boat' so to speak.
I am just doing what needs to be done and not feeling much of anything at all.
Hmmmm...
I assume that will change.
Meanwhile I go with the flow.
It has been nice to catch up with all the peoples that matter in my life this week.
Its been nice to be home, sort of....
It will be nice to get this year at school started and know who will be teaching me what this year and to just get started doing something productive.
I think...
Am having to take a look at where I stand in my own beliefs and comfortability in myself as I travel the path in support of my friend...I am satisfied with me so far...mostly....that is a relief.
I am remembering what it felt like to be living in that place of rawness and vulnerabilty and appreciating the journey that has bought me this far.
I have been taking a tiny look at what might need to change in order to grow further, not sure about that....

It will be nice to go to bed early tonight and wake up to a fresh day that involves NO bloody shopping tommorrow.......

4 comments:

Cyndy said...

Is this an oxymoron? ( I forget exactly what an oxymoron is, but there's some term that I'm searching for);
Why do we torture ourselves by constantly questioning the rightness of our feelings and beliefs rather than feeling and believing? Is there supposed to be an answer?...

buggered if I know..it makes me so tired......thinking, thinking, thinking....<3

Anchell said...

Im not questioning them cyndi, just taking a look at how comfortable I am in them. It has taken me a long time to get here and sometimes it is good to just take a peek inside and see how things are sitting. What is real and what has crept in that doesnt feel right. Its not 'thinking' as such, its sort of like a scan....

Lisa said...

my path is easier because of you.......

Amorah said...

Resting is good! A shopping free day is Gooder! Sneaking a peek to check within is goodest! Just 'don't panic' - take a towel and all will be well. Hugs, Karen