Breathe in.....breathe out.....choke

I find my self sitting here this morning full of feelings.

And that is okay....

Me, who has been running from feeling for forever and a day is sitting here swamped in emotion and allowing it to be so.

I have been reading and catching up on a few blogs. Not commenting much because I don't have a lot to say right now.

I rang a bell for Barry.

I am praying with my whole heart for my beautiful Renee, I know she will be lifted up by a thousand prayers in her final journey home. As was my mother. I witnessed that particular miracle and it was awesome.

I am full of gratitude for the people who have carried me and walked beside and behind me these past two years of my life. You people, my blog friends, my physical friends, my brothers and sister, my children......everyone who has played a part in getting me from there to here, right now, this day.

That would include this new love of mine who makes my heart sing a thousand songs at least once each day and who has taken my sometimes fragile self and tucked me under his wing and tickled me into laughing hysterically and then kissed me quiet again. Who is still patiently waiting for me to get back to me and who doesn't seem to mind who she turns out to be. Who seems to delight in me, just however I am. Oh yeah, I am grateful for that. And the freedom in there is something I can't and won't even try to describe to you.

If you have it then you know and if you don't, well, I hope you get it, oh yes, I do.

I am content on this day. Content to just be.

This could, of course, change in an instant....:)

Just for today I will enjoy living in the centre of me and just breathe and throw out the rubbish.....

oh snort......