some days...

...you just want to cry

so you go to bed late and eat chocolate

Poop

which is planet near Phart

which is near Uranus

true

a wykd witch told me!

8 randoms????

Okay

a quickie while at the orifice

1. My internet has been down since Friday night
2. I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, have been 'clean' for nearly 7 years now
3. My hair wants to be grey but I wont let it
4. Since I dont drink anymore I'm a bit nervous of men who 'like' me (darlin excepted, 95% of the time)
5. I have been to jail (didnt know that did you!!)
6. My kids have 2 different fathers and my ex husband is NOT one of them
7. I dont like working every day......
8. Sometimes I would kill for a Wild Turkey and coke....

Will blog more later!

Thank gawd it stopped raining!

AND BEHOLD

The heavens opened up

and the rain fell out

and fell

and fell

and fell

and fell

and noone remembered to close the heavens

and backpassage got very soggy

and dripped and dripped and dripped

and I got very bored

and very over it

a soggy hooker in backpassage is not a good thing

lucky its a holiday tomorrow

and I can be soggy at home instead

grrrrrr

TURN IT OFF NOW

2.30

Thats 2.30

I will be at the Eurobar at

2.30

that is all

sorry

Coffee at about 2.30...will let you know on Tuesday for sure via this trusty blog page

OMG!!!!

I have a day off

next wednesday

and I am going to the hairdressers and to the doctors and then I am going to go to the eurobar and hope someone who reads this comes and joins me for coffee and cake!!

Excellent

so whilst I was pondering this strange anomoly it occured to me that Friday is ANZAC DAY!!

a PUBLIC HOLIDAY

TWO DAYS OFF IN ONE WEEK!!!!

Plus Sunday

I am soooo excited..

Pathetic is it not

AND

I had to go into town today to yell at people who make my life harder (ie Centrelink and Births Deaths and Marriages) and ended up having ALL OF TODAY OFF TOO

That one doesnt count though because I had to go to DJs and shop for face cream for the small scrawny parental and furry boots for my girls and some working girl clothes for moi!

and I found a bargain one of those red buddha things that weighs half a ton, you know what I mean.....for only $20 in the Animal Welfare shoppie place so I quickly snatched it up for all the good luck etc and just because I have wanted one for ages...

and then when I got him home and unwrapped him he is crawling all ooover with children on him and that probably means he is a fertility buddha or some such bloody thing and like really need one of those with a house full of children already, especially since the majority of them are girls well within breeding age.....oh deary me...and then Shellibelly rubbed his tummy!!

I have decided that he is really a good luck buddha guy who just likes kids a lot and as there are 5 of them thats one for each of mine and one for Daniel the littlebro.....phew....

I would just love another child like a hole in the bloody head oh my gosh

I am investigating Apricot Kernels as they are amazing things that are natures chemo

herro

well, Im here

still

Been a long week and I am still adjusting to the work all frikken 6 and three quarter days a week rythm. Or not adjusting, whatever being chronically exhausted depicts in this situation.

My sister is coming for a week on Monday and if I dont get a day off in that Im going to chuck one big time I tell you!!!

I am feeling a bit like Im the only one doing anything here. And I spose thats because I am....better get over that, i put my hand up and Im glad I did. Frikken place would be falling to shreds otherwise. No, not bignoting of self, just truth. I am useful for sure, wgich is nice and I am pleased but if only I wasnt so tired that I want to be in bed every night at 7.....oh well, I will adjust, Yes?

I miss being a free agent!

But I am a good staff for certain.

And so is my life...for now

I had a heartrending call from my mum the other night

She wanted to ask me if it was all really real or was she dreaming and having a nightmare

and she was serious

It was horrible to have to tell her she really was awake

Poor little bugger

Poor little me

Its all just so sad

Going now, nothing much to say really

Kristy is getting married in a second though and thats exciting isnt it!

oh dear

I had my 500th post 47 posts ago!!

oops

oh well so be it

I am going back to bed now

just because I can

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

right...

Well

ex husband who was to be relied upon to ferry children around town whilst i am here in backpassage has just been arrested for DUI..this is bad yes?

worse still he was picked up doing it with said children in the car!!

THIS IS WORSER RIGHT??

so children had to walk home, which they could and should have been made to do anyway, after experiencing not so fun arresting of idiot ex, freaking out and blaming themselves...grrrr

and more?

ok

...said ex husband who has been 'seeing' (ie having sex with and being VERY sickening) very old family (of his) friend sister type person is now pregnant with/to her and thinking about little blonde boys called BANNING ffsake!

CAN IT GET ANY FREAKING WORSE HERE!!!

well, Im sure it can but Im not dwelling on it

going with the flow

going with the flow

being grateful I am in backpassage and nowhere near New Lambton right now so I am not arrested for damaging a person irrepairably

( aside...I told him if he calls his child Bunnings he will be very sorry and anyway its a girl and will be called Poppy, which is cute and not Bunnings which is just ridiculous and anyway doesn't he know what condoms are for..they're the things you wear so as not to get pregnant whilst in the first 5 minutes of going out with old familysistertype people who have two yr old daughters already and are lonely just like ex;s are lonely and now look whats happened...fark...but I forgot he is in luurve..oh spew )

back to gratitude that he had nothing to do with naming my kids...BANNING?

...back to dead exes who are drinking 3 beers in an hour and then picking my kids up because they missed the bloody freaking bus. Whom may I ask will now be picking them up from work at 10pm and for netball and soccer and social contact that is frikken VITAL for teenage girls and what about the fact that I am 50 farkin k's away and cant like driving at night and his promised sincerely on his mothers grave part in this whole horrible bloody mess was to do this ferrying?

Is this selfish of me???

I DONT FRIKKEN CARE

AM I MAKING ANY SENSE??

No, must be hysterical then right!

Well, he better get lots of bloody overtime if I let him live because TAXIS ARE EXPENSIVE.

Bloody...

....so went and ordered to die for garlic prawn pizza and sat on marina overlooking beautiful calm water with boats and pelicans in it that only smelled a bit like oysters because the tide was out and drinking coffee and got grateful for a minute for that at least

ate to die for pizza

and mud cake and ice cream

now I want to vomit

oookayyyyy

and I will go to bed soon, alone again, which is probably a good thing as I snore like a train when I am exhausted and eat too much

then again

a cuddle would have been nice

damn that too

and I AM whinging

because, here at least, I CAN.

xxx

poo

I FEEL A BIT LIKE i AM STRANDED ON AN ISLAND AND THERE IS NO WAY OFF

AM I DESTINED TO BE AN OVERTIRED, UNDERPAID BIGKNOBBED HOOKER FOR EVER?

WILL I EVER GET MORE THAN 24 HOURS OFF??

stay tuned to this channel for these are the days of her life............sad music plays on

plurgh

spoon goes awol....

Bald Elf and cheesy grin

CSV retching in fear and horror!!

See how much attention I got.....none...pah



Bee snarls at all

and cleans her teeth with a knife....

Jen realises she has coffee down her cleavage.....

and someone looks innocent with spoon down hers!!

Hmmmmmm.....cant take em anywhere...

position vacant

Lunch with Marys at my house is fun

and hurts your stomach a lot

and I think it should happen again soon

BUT

I am insisting on one thing next time

They must BYO slave.....Jen especially needs one with a large chux

Im too old for this running around crap

and the CSV is on strike due to chocolate and sex talk overload

(every 12 and a half minutes was a tad excessive)

must advertise for help...pronto

so

know any good slaves???

must be able to do sticky date at short notice and appear out of thin air and be willing to live in a cupboard

and someone who shall remain nameless has disappeared with my teaspoon down their ample cleavage.......grrrrr

note to self...do NOT buy goddess shaped teaspoons ever again when you know there will be witches in the house!

snoff

still

Im still here

Im still bored

I could go file things

or invoice someone

but Im not

Im playing scrabble on dial up

and I have eaten half a packet of really bad tasting biscuits

and I am contemplating going to the post office just for something to do

I am cold

and tired

and my mother is at home having poo issues

Did I say I am bored??

frik!

frik

Im bored

Orifice work is just that somedays

boring boring boring

and I have made a stupid mistake that I wish I could hide

grrrrrr frik frik frik

Chemo is not happening right now

they will wait till the cancer starts to 'act up' and then bomb it...seeings as its not going to cure anything and she is still recovering from surgery etc

frik to that too

its so farkin quiet here I can here the water lapping and a bird in the bush

too weird

if I hadnt made that frikken mistake I might even enjoy that

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr x 364729100288

hrmph

banging head on desk now

thump thump thump

ps; some tenants need shooting at birth, really they do!

to the point

Well, yes to all comments received

I am thinking (and knowing my own truth) and for me, right this now, life is ALL about facing up, fronting up and just doing whats in front of me with no expectations and utter lack of control.

easy peasy.......

blerk

However, I have had practice at this, recovery from addiction is much the same and I have done that and survived

I will survive this and learn lessons and come out the other end with sanity and sense of humour intact

I know this

I will also grow up a lot

damn it

Much as I would like to set my little human head to solving all it will not work. Acceptance is the key here..

as with everything.

Really, it just is...

I can only change me, and right now, I dont need to... I am just how I need to be.

So, onwards and upwards my friends!

GAWD