Thursday, November 30, 2006

hmmmm

Must be funny energies today. Everyone is quiet and having a crisis or two.
Happens like that sometimes.
I have no crisis....this is much good.
I like a crisisless day occasionally......

I have been pondering on why it is so seemingly important to us that others like us and think we are wonderful ALL of the time.
Does anybody actually know anyone who is wonderful ALL of the bloody time?
I certainly don't.
Me especially!
Why do we set ourselves up with such high expectations of ourselves and yet its okay for others (and even expected) to fall apart and stuff up and be human occasionally?
And why should we expect everyone to like us when we don't like everyone?
And if we are expecting others to never fall apart and to always be some kind of paragon then how fair is that to them?
I know that I, in my life, have often put people on pedestals and thought that the answers to my problems could be found in an outside of myself source, namely, another person who I percieved to be wiser/stronger/smarter/ more powerful than myself. It didn't ever work!
People on pedestals invariably fall off as they too, are only human, like ourselves.
I have eventually come to the conclusion that if I am looking for another person to 'fix' my life then I am looking in the wrong place.
And I am also being extremely unfair to the person I am expecting perfection from.
Nobody can live under that sort of pressure without cracking.
I now know that the answers to my problems lay inside of myself and that I am the ONLY one who can implement change in my life and 'fix' anything up for me.
And that I can only do it for me and not for anyone else.
And my friends are the wonderful people who support me in this and let me be me, warts and all, and love me anyway as I love them for the same reasons.
We help and we teach and we lend a hand, we don't 'save' each other because we can't.
Its a huge thing to come to realise that by setting people on pedestals, we are setting them and us, up for a fall........

Food for thought isn't it.

4 comments:

Raihn said...

wow.....its been a while since mary ankel wrote big, and how wonderful it is.......beautiful writing, truth muchly....how important, special & wonderful are you and how blessed am I to have you in my world.......love maryme you us love.

Raihn said...

reading this again......its wonderful & truth supreme ( like pizza)..........thankyou ankel me mary us love muchly........

Cyndy said...

You are me!! I have thought often about the same topic for a posting, but have ever gotten around to it..lazy me again. We women tend to merciless on ourselves, with often unrealistic expectations and always look outside for answers, and excuses, when the real key is to look and believe what is within. Jenny Craig isn't the one who loses the weight, eats healthier and exercises madly...nicorette doesn't stop you smoking.... Art school doesn't make you finish your assessments... Aldi doesn't buy your groceries, cook your meals or clean your home..We don't accept credit and compliments where they are due...We say I couldn't possibly have managed it on our own...Well, the truth is , yes yu can, but you don't have to..... Yep, it's good to be a Mary....;)) xoxo

Kathleen said...

Yes! Totally agree!