Sunday, May 13, 2007

oh dear...

So, should we hate ourselves because of the way we look?

A mary has left a comment about herself and her perception of her body that hit me in the face.

Her body, by the way, is not herself.

We all seem to be suffering from a social opinion here, when it comes to our bodies, dont we.

I have to ask, and dont shoot me okay, I'm having an opinion here that is based on my own truth

...is it your truth or your opinion that you think you are fat and that fat is gross. Is it really yours or is it based on the opinion of a whole lot of blood sucking money leeches who run the fashion industry?
Where is this truth based?
How many 'skinny' women do you actually know, who are above age 18, and have had several children?
The truly skinny women that I have known were not happy with their bodies either, they wanted to be bigger.
If you know some then are they just naturally this stunning or do they work on it?
And where do they find the time?
How many women do you know who are happy with their bodies, having based their self image on the twiggy's and kate mosses of this world?
How many fashion shows include the 'average woman'?
So, what is this opinion based on?
CONJECTURE and some elses opinion!
If we look inside to our own truth, we will find that so much of our supposed self image is based on some imaginary and fictional 'ideal' that does not suit the real world that we occupy everyday.
Fat is not gross.
Its unhealthy.
If we are loving ourselves then we will be gentle and rather than punish us we will nurture us with kindness and good food and other such healthy and weight reducing things. Because we are worth it, not because we are disgusting.
My point in all this is just this.
Why are we unhappy with ourselves?
Is it about us, or them?
If we are doing it for us then good, if not, then why?
That is all...........

7 comments:

Cyndy said...

There is no such thing as "the average woman". She differs from culture to culture and from one era to the next.
Why do we have to measure ourselves against another woman? Are we sisters or not?
Why does "she", because of the shape of "her" body, have a greater worth than you or I? Is "she" a better mother, or more successful in her career or choice of partners?
Are our ideas and ideals based up our own, of others, or those of men?
Most of the time, men are not the ones who complain about a partner's cellulite-covered thighs, padded bum or rounded belly. A man's fantasy woman is just that; a fantasy, and has no bearing on the woman that he loves and cares for at home. And that fantasy woman presents the way she does because somewhere along the way, someone decided that "She" was the ideal. The media??? A magazine publisher? And "She" looks that way because that is her job. "She's" not real. And probably has self esteem that is linked solely upon her appearance. What happens when "She" grows older? Will "She" still be loved and adored?
"She" is transient.
We are real. We can change ourselves if we want to. Hair style and colour, weight, the amount and arrangement of our body hair or our body shape. But we need to be sure that there are the right reasons for doing it. For ourselves. "Me" is the word here.

And we have to pass this message along to our daughters. This should be our legacy to them. But it just doesn't seem to be working.

Enough of my blogmuggling. As you can see, I feel very strongly about this. But that is just my humble opinion.

Thanks Anchell for opening this avenue of conversation. ;0)

Anchell said...

Exactly my dear muggle, exactly. I get concerned because we seem to value ourselves according to our exteriors rather than our true selves. Who is the woman we love? The one who smiles out of a magazine, often between rehab stints, or the one who comforts our children and men and cooks the dinner in between doing the rest of the necessary?
Why can't we love us for WHO we ARE rather than what we look like?
I see my beautiful friends punish themselves for not being something they were never meant to be and yet not see for themselves the beauty they already have.
When I look at them I see beauty, the trick is to look at me and see it as well. We are the mirrors for each other are we not!
Its a huge subject and we all need to love ourselves better.

Jewell said...

I too believe that you should love you for "who" you are not "what" you look like.

I myself losted the weight due to health...not to look better it was to feel better...and i have to say it was more about moderation and exercise than not eating certain things.....people do themselfeves a diservse if they state that they are "gross" not true...this mary is beautiful inside and out!!!

Good topic

Cyndy said...

Yes, my dear Mary, yes.

And you are beautiful. And that means I am too.

Thank you. ;0)

Lisa said...

which Mary ?

Cyndy said...

Any Mary who offers up that the idea that we are not judged by our wrapping, but by our yummy centres.

But I was actually replying to Mary Ankles reply to my comment.

Go the beautiful Marys!

Kristy-Lee said...

Its about how we feel.

I don't mind being a little 'bigger' as long as I feel healthy.

Having a negative view of yourself, ie calling yourself gross, will only make it harder to improve your health because you begin to feel that you are not worth it.

Treat yourself nicely, be kind to yourself, you deserve it. The rest will come!

PS. Diets are poop.