does my bum look big in this??

YES IT BLOODY DOES

BECAUSE IT BLOODY IS

ahem

the swimwear shop I mentioned in my earlier post does not exist

I know this because I spent all day looking for it today

I have bought some swimmers

I will lose 5 kilos in 2 weeks

and someone tell me a magic cellulite makergoawayer please

NOW

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh well

I am old and have produced 4 kids

and am lazy

and eat too much crap

I have decided that a spray tan before I go will be a good idea

At least a tan helps disguise a wobbly gigantic pitted arse a bit

I hope

:0(

Lucky I own lots of sarongs

BTW

DJ's have nice swimmers but even on sale they are rather expensive

I will now lose weight because I cant afford to eat!

Hah