Friday, January 09, 2009

Looking forward

I am looking forward to the day when I write a meaningful post again

It may be a while coming however

As the conversations I have with me in my head these days dont quite ever make it out through my fingers

I am also looking forward to being inspired again one day

I have prepared a canvas

It is sitting there staring at me and has been for weeks

Everytime I go to do something with it, I stop, unable to formulate an idea that is floating somewhere beyond my reach for now

I would normally say to someone else, "just start", but I cant, not yet, not just for the sake of it

Hmmmm

I know I am in here somewhere

Im just not quite sure who "I" is right now

That same me yes, but wait there's more.....

For now its like I am just floating along, doing the days as they come, with no particular enthusiasm or meaning, just doing......

And that, in spite of how that may sound to you, is quite okay with me, weird yes, but okay too

I do feel that I am actually just where I am supposed to be and that the floating is necessary

I will know when its time to swim

and its not yet

I do not question why, that would just drive me insane

Its okay for now

And that is all really

So, I distract myself with silly things, just to keep me awake some days

I think in short bursts

I 'do' the stuff that needs to be 'done'

Its all an illusion you know

This life

The trick is to see through it and begin to grasp the importance of nothing

and just enjoy the 'whatever' as it comes

For now
Remember this??? I almost forgot.....


xxxx

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah know it well....the "blank canvas thing"....
It IS an excuse.
I was painting at 10.30 last night and caught myself saying to the man....just let me sit here AND RELAX and apint for half an hour"...did you hear that???
"just relax and paint"???!!!!!!!
Wow...what a change...
Yes I actually feel relaxed when I do it...my mind goes THERE and is NOT HERE...and it is a really really good place to go.
Just do it you silly bugger....
Set up a spot and keep it there.
I am just giving back to you your own advice that you gave to me and it worked too!!!!
Please send me you home address details so I can send you your calendar. Thanks.w.w.

Anchell said...

*pokes out tongue* :0P

Cyndy said...

You & I are definitely on the same wavelength, but in my case, the blank canvas is life....

Floating is always preferable to drowning...

;0)

Jen said...

Hmmm - just do it 'arty farty'.

you can always paint over it if you dont like it


love the new page header image!! very cool

Lisa said...

floating is actualkly being insulated by the universe. that painting reminds me fallopian tubes and reproduction type things- i love you work, real, 'walk where no man dares go ' sort of stuff- and listen to Elf, she knows her shit xxx

Lisa said...

i am actually going to print this painting out and post it in my journal- it speaks to me- i need to work with it- ok ?

Anchell said...

Okay....thats what its for...I need to remember that

Natalie said...

I don't forget your work because it's the first thing I see everyday.xx

Cyndy said...

Hey Arty Farty Mary!

I would like you to to turn this work of yours into fabric, then have someone make me a beautiful item of clothing out of it, okay...... ;0)

Anchell said...

okay...I will wave my magic wand and it will be so....:0)