I am looking forward to the day when I write a meaningful post again
It may be a while coming however
As the conversations I have with me in my head these days dont quite ever make it out through my fingers
I am also looking forward to being inspired again one day
I have prepared a canvas
It is sitting there staring at me and has been for weeks
Everytime I go to do something with it, I stop, unable to formulate an idea that is floating somewhere beyond my reach for now
I would normally say to someone else, "just start", but I cant, not yet, not just for the sake of it
I know I am in here somewhere
Im just not quite sure who "I" is right now
That same me yes, but wait there's more.....
For now its like I am just floating along, doing the days as they come, with no particular enthusiasm or meaning, just doing......
And that, in spite of how that may sound to you, is quite okay with me, weird yes, but okay too
I do feel that I am actually just where I am supposed to be and that the floating is necessary
I will know when its time to swim
and its not yet
I do not question why, that would just drive me insane
Its okay for now
And that is all really
So, I distract myself with silly things, just to keep me awake some days
I think in short bursts
I 'do' the stuff that needs to be 'done'
Its all an illusion you know
The trick is to see through it and begin to grasp the importance of nothing
and just enjoy the 'whatever' as it comes
Remember this??? I almost forgot.....