Monday, March 30, 2009

A little more truth of mine

Been thinking....oh oh

Well,not really thinking as in deep pondering etc but just feeling I guess

Been skimming over the past 18 months of my life and I have occasionally wandered how the hell I am still standing!

Once upon a time would have been....well....dead.....from all of this stress and stuff!

I kid you not.

I spent pretty much my whole adult life, up till 7 and a half years ago, as a practicing addict/alcoholic (some people see a difference there, I do not, one just kills you slower) and damn well ended up near death, only 3 or 4 days away from it in fact, according to the good doctors and institutionalised......(rehab was the nicest one:O))

I was running away from me.

Then I learned better. That was a very painful and confusing process as anyone who has been through it will know.

Now I am just comparing the things that would have had me screaming for mercy delivered in the form of a bottle, or a needle, or whatever .....once upon a time.....and coming to the realisation that I am actually a VERY STRONG PERSON!

How wonderful.

I think.

Now, how do I put all that into a magic pill and force feed it to my daughter?

PS I found some more images of stuff for the other blog! Woohoo!!


Cynthia said...

Gosh. I guess its hard to give to your daughter your own wisdom. We have to hope that your gain is also understood by her. So she can be strong, I mean. May it be so. <3

Michelle said...

Yes Cynthia, I can only hope that she comes to see that she is better than she thinks she is.

Daria said...

If you could figure out that magic pill ... you`d be a billionaire.

Girl, not only are you really strong but really funny too. I really enjoy you blogging.

Regarding the other blog ... how long does it take you to create one of those beautiful paintings ... you seem to post them often.

jewell said...

maybe you could write it down like a a third person and then let her read it?

Sometimes when it's in black and white it's harder to ingore

Hugs xxx

Michelle said...

Food for thought Helen. xxx

Myst_72 said...

Yes, writing it down sounds like an excellent idea - a book even?

Having come through that would give you a strength that few would understand - not a hardness, a strength.

I think you are amazing :)


Lisa said...

your blog is a way of keeping your wisdom in the one place.

everything you have written- that is why i call you my HERO- you are fricken amazing and have a great ass too xx

Lisa said...

btw- YOU ARE the magic pill being force fed to your daughter xx

nollyposh said...

The way i see it is that we can only lead by example for our kids and be honest... and respect the fact that they have a life to lead too... the rest is up to them (arrrggghhhh!) x

Audrey said...

Michelle...I bow to you! What a brave, courageous, strong and honest woman you are! How inspiring!
I like the idea of writing it all down for your daughter. Sometimes, written messages are easier to accept/digest.
Love to you

Lisa said...

you know i am not a comment nazi but fair go shell- at least let me know you are still alive ...sheeze..............

Snowbrush said...

"I was running away from me."

Which raises the question of what is the national daily average for running away from ourselves versus being with ourselves....

Butler and Bagman said...

I see no difference either in my addictions. And I sometimes say that if you can do something more than once I can be addicted to it. I'm so glad you are part of my blogspot experience.

Barry said...

Lord knows I tried with my two daughters, but I don't think the pills worked all that well. They still made their own mistakes and learned their own hard lessons.

But in the end they turned out pretty good==and maybe didn't make quite so many mistakes as I did.

Natalie said...

It is very hard to put old heads on young shoulders... hmm.

I think writing it down is a great plan too. Maybe addressed to her, a precious gift from her mum.xx♥

Renee said...

Michelle, I am thinking about you and would love to have seen that email. How nice of them.

LoveRenee xoxo