Friday, June 12, 2009

Keeping it in today

This past week I guess Ive found myself forgetting to stay in the day

I give myself all sorts of really good advice sometimes and then something happens that throws me off balance and wham....there I am forgetting how I survive....

Good thing is that these days I recognise it and I have tools to deal with it

Most importantly, for now, is that I try to stay in this day, whichever one I am doing, and not to look too far ahead into the mirk

The minute I start to allow myself to question next week, next month, next year...sometimes even tomorrow, I don't run so well.

Yes, it is hard, this thing I do right now, but so are lots of things

And I am so lucky too....

Lucky to have been shown that I have the ability to make the right choices

Lucky to be here showing someone I care, the best way I can

Lucky in all sorts of ways

Yes, this illness of mums is a scary scary thing

But it is here

and must be dealt with

Just not all at once.....

a day at a time will do

It will have to

Thanks guys, for your words

and for caring

Please send good 'stuff' for Sandra when you think of it

Today, today we do round 3 of chemo.....pft!

And I am on day 5 of Champix where coffee tastes like cat pee smells..........sigh

Tomorrow the dreaded Aunt arrives for a week.....argh...but I'm not thinking about that today

I'm just allowing myself space to dream a little and time, time to get things done

It is enough.....


Natalie said...

I woke up at 5.38am and thought of you. :D Sending lots of love to Sandra, sending armour and protection against all evil relatives,and sending a cheer squad re Champix.xx♥

Anonymous said...

Yeah to the Champix!
Sending love and prayers to Sandra, and to you Michelle!

Lisa said...

nothing is too big if we stay here

linda said...

you have amazing strength and tho I don't always say, I think you are doing a phenomenal job of coping with so many dreadful issues right now...I hope for you all good things!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Just take it moment by moment and you can do it!

Renee said...

Maybe the dreaded aunt can stay with your mom and give you a break or even better; maybe the dreaded aunt won't be so dreaded.

Love Renee xoxo

Jen said...

i think I might try that approach as I find myself getting overwhelmed by the big picture at times. It floors me.

Will concentrate on today - thats all

thank you

Oh and big big hugs to mum, and also to you. Maybe you should escape for a while if the dreaded aunt is here and YOU GO GIRL re Champix. You can do it, it is worth it.. you will only have to take it for a couple of weeks like me, then you will be back to normal, actually, better than normal, cause EVERYTHING will taste much betterer.


Bogey said...

Courage to your Mum for fighting the fight and strength to you for staying in the moment. That's all you can do. And love to you both.

Sorry about your coffee though! Bleeeeecchhh!

Butler and Bagman said...

God bless you!! You are a light that keeps shining no matter how much darkness surrounds you.

Michelle said...

Hi Michelle

I found you via Bogey. How could I resist another Michelle who also has a dreaded aunt (bet mine's worse than yours!) and hates Mills and Boon. :-D

I think I was the only teen who never read M&Bs under my desk. I wrote my own ... mostly lurid action adventure stories. LOL

May I add my wishes for your mum's health? And the beautiful artwork here... Are they yours?