Friday, June 12, 2009
Keeping it in today
This past week I guess Ive found myself forgetting to stay in the day
I give myself all sorts of really good advice sometimes and then something happens that throws me off balance and wham....there I am forgetting how I survive....
Good thing is that these days I recognise it and I have tools to deal with it
Most importantly, for now, is that I try to stay in this day, whichever one I am doing, and not to look too far ahead into the mirk
The minute I start to allow myself to question next week, next month, next year...sometimes even tomorrow, I don't run so well.
Yes, it is hard, this thing I do right now, but so are lots of things
And I am so lucky too....
Lucky to have been shown that I have the ability to make the right choices
Lucky to be here showing someone I care, the best way I can
Lucky in all sorts of ways
Yes, this illness of mums is a scary scary thing
But it is here
and must be dealt with
Just not all at once.....
a day at a time will do
It will have to
Thanks guys, for your words
and for caring
Please send good 'stuff' for Sandra when you think of it
Today, today we do round 3 of chemo.....pft!
And I am on day 5 of Champix where coffee tastes like cat pee smells..........sigh
Tomorrow the dreaded Aunt arrives for a week.....argh...but I'm not thinking about that today
I'm just allowing myself space to dream a little and time, time to get things done
It is enough.....