Thursday, June 11, 2009

real life...

Been a while since a real life update

What's going on?

I am not quite sure really

Mum is yellow

and not feeling 'right'....

and questioning death

and experiencing some spiritual visitations

and questioning that too

and scared

yes

very scared

we got the new doctor but don't see him till the 22nd

a CT scan is to be scheduled between now and then

chemo tomorrrow..... but I don't know

I want a liver function test today, for her

because something is going on

and it is not good

I am feeling a little trapped

but that's okay

it will pass

hell, why wouldn't I be

anyway that is where it is

today

I'm kinda scared of the tomorrows

sigh


14 comments:

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I hope you get some answers soon - about both yours and your mom's health.

Michelle said...

Wasn't very clear there..for her not me...I am fine!

Strawberry Girl said...

Go with your gut, if something dosen't seem right, then it's not.

Sorry bout' all those scary tomorrows. :0) *Hugs*

Butler and Bagman said...

Tomorrows are always scary. Just as yesterdays often get second-guessed. Me too. On both counts. But todays are usually able to be handled. Someone once said that God never gives you more than us can handle. I believe that. I also believe he seldom gives us less. Smooch.

Faith said...

I hope you find the answers. Your poor mom, going through so much. Tomorrows can be so scary. Wish you didn't have to wait so long for the new doctor. So frustrating.

Hugs to you...

Bogey said...

Today's are filled with too many unknowns to worry about tomorrow's unknowns. Tomorrow's unknowns will come soon enough to become today's worry's. Live for today, one problem at a time. :) (((XX)))

nollyposh said...

Oh dear (((hugz))) Your mum's questioning is a natural part of her illness, and i know i went through yellow stages too, but always push for more answers if you have questions, or don't feel that something is right because ultimately that is what the medical profession is for and you all need to have peace of mind. Good Luck xox

Audrey said...

Michelle, I can only imagine how scary this must be for both you and your Mum!It I really wish that I had some words of wisdom for you, or that I could actually reach out and hug you, but sadly I am incapable of both. Know that you and your Mum are both in my prayers.
Hugs to you!
xoxoxo

Cyndy said...

Tomorrows are a gift, but I'm a little on the scared & uncertain side with you.

Good luck with the new doc & tests.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Sarah Lulu said...

Darling girl ...I'm with Butler and Bagman ....as Mark said ..live in this day (moment/hour) only....

You will be sent what you need tomorrow ...tomorrow.

SO much love and many prayers,

Sarah Lulu

Kerry said...

I can't say much, that hasn't already been said.

Everything that your mum is going through, is so normal, but that doesn't make it any less scary for her, or for you, for that matter.

My love, and thoughts going your way.

All i can say, is when it comes to health, be it yours, or a loved ones, ALWAYS....ALWAYS follow your gut. It won't let you down.

Natalie said...

Poor little mum. Sending a heartful of loving her way.xx♥

Daria said...

Praying that everything will be O.K. ....

Renee said...

Just be in today Michelle. Don't be at tomorrow.

What ifs = fuck off.

I am thinking of your Mom. It is a scary time.

Love Renee xoxo