Friday, June 19, 2009

Stuff ....an ongoing saga




Whats been going on?

well, nothing much

and everything too

been a wild yoyo ride of a week for me, emotionally......

There is something just over the horizon

Coming fast, like a train on a silent track and the lights are blinding

I have my head turned away, but I am prepared

and listening for the crash

and I sometimes wonder who, after I pick up the bits of everyone laying around me

will pick up the pieces of me

but then I also know

that wont be necessary

life

can be relentless

news?

the guy who made an offer on the business 6 months ago is ringing again

the rumours are flying around about the state of mums health

I say nothing

let them panic

and bring their money to the table

bugger them

assholes

and

mum, she is feeling a bit better this week, thanks to someone elses blood

we see the new doctor on Monday without the benefit of a CT scan, because hospitals are run by humans and sometimes this means incompetance

Shelli, my brave warrior child, is fighting the good fight and making me very proud to be her mother, she forges on through the crap and I find myself hoping that maybe, just maybe, I showed her how, in some small way. Showed her that to be yourself is a gift not to be taken lightly by the bastards of this world and that hope is precious and not useless. Thats what I hope for......with her, for her and stuff the opinions of those who do not know how very hard that can be.

For me, I just pray for the strength to be the best I can, and for it to be enough.

Every damn day.....

and every damn day I find a reason, to stand tall and keep on keeping on

and I know that even if I can't see the way, the way see's me

How cool is that!

Have a good one people



16 comments:

Linda S. Socha said...

Thank you beautiful lady for just being who you are. It is way more than ok.
I love this post

Hugs
Linda

Audrey said...

Michelle - you are so strong, and YES, you have shown Shelli how to walk tall and brave! I believe that you have been an amazing and inspiring role model for her.

I know that things must be very difficult for you right now. Please know that we are all with you as you deal with your daily challenges. We all love you and support you!
xoxoxo

Strawberry Girl said...

Absolutely Michelle!! (Actually I feel as though an invisible train is headed in my direction... or has it already past and I am stuck cleaning up the debris?)

Renee said...

You are the best Michelle. More than the best.

You have the heart of a poet and all of your words are songs of love and longing.

I could read you all day long.

I am glad Shelli is doing well.

I hope all is well or the best it can be with your Mom.

I also worry about you and think while you are thinking of everyone, who is thinking of you.

Love Renee xoxoxo

Lisa said...

i like you x

Michelle said...

You like me??? And you told me you wanted to sleep with me!

Bosh

xx

Natalie said...

Bloody relentless. I am proud of you. Really, really proud.In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, I suppose.....
but I am.
You are doing amazing stuff everyday, your rewards will find you.xx♥

Kerry said...

Totally amazing.

Your strength, i think it carries though to Shelli.

What a fighter she is.

Am glad your mum is having a good week this week. nice to hear.

As for people with money for the business. Bring it on i say. Lets hope that something good will come out of it.

hugs to you

Kerry

Myst_72 said...

I pray for strength for you too Michelle..

Love to you,

G
xx

Wendy said...

Michelle, I see abundance around you. You are smiling and life is fruitful. It is not far off but it can only happen in due course.

Continue to be true in your heart, this is the only way to be with you. Eyes are upon you that gaze with blessing and good fortune. The next phase is approaching and it is good.

Jen said...

xoxo

YIP YAH for Shelli

Yay for mum

Super Dooper hoofrikkenray for you.

You are incredible
xoxo

Lisa said...

my hero- i have a picture of you and your pussy on my blog- snort snort snort

Bogey said...

Combined with the painting above, which I am assuming is of your creation, this post sounded refreshingly cathartic. A purgation of emotions expressed through your art and words. Poetic, yet cleansing at the same time. I see your strength shining through and I'm sure your children do too!

Kathryn Magendie said...

You are a beautiful woman - in spirit and in "flesh' - and through your artwork - Michelle, I just can't say enough about how gorgeous your work is. . .

I am sending you mountain cove cool air and cold creek water and all good things....

Lover of Life said...

You sound very strong and centered to me. Hope all goes well with your daughter and mother. Just stopping by via Lulu's blog. Hope you have a great day.

Dawn said...

I think your posts are becoming more inspiring by the hour! Will have to make sure I stop by here when I'm feeling really shite one day; I'm sure it will make me feel better :)
xxoo
D.