Thursday, June 04, 2009
a word to my teenage daughters
As your mother I find it my duty to let you in on a few little secrets, just between us girls you know.....these may make your lives easier in the long run, wisdom passed down through the ages and all that stuff......
The bathroom is actually not a magical self cleansing apparatus. Hair does not climb out of the sink unaided and plugholes do not clear themselves......the toothpaste doesn't wipe itself off everything and wet towels do not dry themselves in between showers...trust me on this, I have hair all over my hands. Hair can, amazingly enough, climb up the sides of the bathroom wall and end up near the ceiling, Ive been watching for years and still haven't managed to figure out how it does this....also, the razor I have hidden in my drawer? The drawer that is filled with MY stuff, as in stuff belonging to me only and all that jazz, that is actually mine, not a free for all.................seriously!
The magic house work fairy does not exist...I know, shocking but true.....and if she did she would now be officially on strike!
Having your bum crack hanging out the back of your jeans is soooo not the look you are hoping to achieve! Trust me on this one.........mother knows best!
Breasts are naturally occurring phenomenon and will not disappear back inside your chest, no matter how much you slouch....
And that pile of dirty washing under your beds.......I'm not going there...no matter what, but I would like a couple of towels back as drying myself on face washers holds absolutely no appeal what so ever!
One last thing, when you use the kitchen and things melt all over the inside of the microwave?
I will see them eventually and yes, I may yell a bit that day.......I apologise in advance okay
Oh yes, washing the dishes requires the use of HOT AND SOAPY water okay.
And possibly a tea towel :)