Friday, October 09, 2009
Social butterfly...hahaha choke
Tonight I am going out again to the opening of the cottage exhibition
I hope this is a success for these ladies, I'm afraid I have been slack and just put a couple of older pieces in because, well, I haven't finished any new ones :)
I slept well last night, in my schmick new bed. So comfy! it was nice to drift off listening to music too....I don't think I moved all night.
I have been going through some harrowing self realisation this week, which is all good, just exhausting. I realise too, how far I have come since that frightened little girl went to rehab all those years ago too......a hundred thousand light years.
These past few months seem to have been a time of testing that stuff, that knowledge I guess, of seeing things in me that need tuning, dropping or just acknowledging and doing so. I didn't realise, for example, that I still had so much codependency stuff to look at.......but I am now aware, which is funny, or will be in a month or so :)
It's all very well to figure out you don't want something in your life and to boot it out....this is great. But when you are left with the gaping hole afterwards you kinda need to know that it's okay to have one and to trust that it will not be a hole forever........someone will know what I mean here and laugh too I guess ........
Anyway, a few gaping holes coming up for me in the not too distant future I suppose, so I'd better get used to them, and get grateful too.
I cannot hide anything these days.....I am forced to truth every single time. I'm getting quite good at the wry smile......
I hope to have a little fun as well as everything else over the next month or two. I know it will be hard but it has been hard all along. I need some fun too.
Real fun not of the imaginary kind.
I had dinner out with my befri last night. My Lisa is, amongst one or two other wise souls, a god-ess send for me, she keeps me level you know, whilst allowing me to also be a total knobhead.....I love her to bits truly. Just for being her and her letting me be me. Warts and all.
I think I might have a little look around and find a dance class! That'd be fun wouldn't it, and I always wanted to know how to dance properly!