Groaning, moaning and philosophising

Well, I'm here. I think.

If you have ever been run over by a truck (and I have but thats another story) then you will know exactly how I am feeling today.

My body has been screaming 'not fair, not fair' at me all day and I have no choice but to agree with it. I have made an executive decision that this body and I are not doing workshop week this week, we have had enough. We need rest and time out and to play and sleep and that is exactly what we are going to do.

I woke up this morning and aside from the usual exhaustion after a day such as yesterday, where I did eleven guide drawings in 6 hours, my left kidney is very, very sore and my throat is full of crap and my head was spinning.

Not feeling nice and definately not a happy body.

So, I have slept lots today, drank lots of water, taken my Goji juice,eaten well and feel a little more human tonight.

In between all of this my mind has been amusing me and trying to make me feel guilty for not being superwoman. Oh well. I'm listening to the pain today head.

You know, I have been umming and ahing about Goji juice and the price of it and blah, blah and then I was reminded that once apon a time I was more than happy to pay for a bottle of spirits everyday and once apon a long time before that, my drugs and the price of Goji, something that is really good for me suddenly was a bargain. Perspective is a fine thing isn't it.

At Tafe we have been writing an artists statement. Or I have been trying to but not coming up with much in the way of direction and what it is that I want my work to say. Today I had the answer.

The essence of who we are is love and colour and song. Thats it.

If I can create a piece of art that expresses that, in the slightest way, then I have done it.

Spoken, been heard, touched, felt and shared.

I want people to look at my work and, even if just for the briefest moment, go into that place and just be. If I can do that then I will have done what I set out to do. Planted a seed, lit a spark. Does that make sense?

My other thought today was regarding that place we call the 'void'. I have lived in that place, when my life was at its worst and also, now, experience that other space, the opposite.

The void is a place inside where there is nothing. The space that we come from is where there is everything. Both places are inside of us and we make the choice about where we want to be based on how deserving we think we are. We forget that we created both of them. To get to the one, it seems, we must go through the other. I wonder why?