Sunday, August 20, 2006
Did I make the right choice when for my children by raising them entirely free of religious education and influence.....I decided somewhere very early in the piece that I would not inflict the confusion, the guilt and shame and the 'moral values' of religion on them and that it would be their own personal choice, as they grew up, whether or not they needed 'god' in their lives. At that point I was a very confused and resentful girl. I was raised by divorced parents, one of whom was a Jehovahs Witness, (yep, I was one of those kids that knocked on your door and made you feel guilty/disgusted/whatever), and the other of whom had mad resentments herself......totally mixed veiwpoints for a small child to observe and absorb!
Anyway, I still believe that it should be a personal choice and one led to by your own experience and observation and, of course, intuition. Even now, when I have found my own path, whatever it is and wherever it takes me I certainly know I'm on it and no-one can tell me it's 'wrong' or right.
I do not have a name for my spirituality, it just is, and to try to shape their belief into my own mould seems hypocritical and just wrong to me.
So, I answer their questions if they ask them, as best I know how, and live my life the way I do without forcing them to join me. I see the empty hole inside each one of them and pray that they fill it with whatever it takes for them to feel connected whenever they feel the call to do so. I hope and pray that they do not turn down the avenues of self-destruction that I did whilst trying to both find and deny myself. I try to live my life honestly and with integrity and to show them, by example, that these things work. I also know that they have their own paths to tread and my job is to bring them in and keep them safe and then let them go......'christian' society would have me an irresponsible parent I suppose but history isn't telling me that religion is love and kindness and that's how I want my kids to 'see god'.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.
Only time will tell...........