I have decided that I want to be one of those immaculatly coiffed and dressed little tiny stick thin girls that traipse around Charlestown Square with their little shoesies flashing their tanned legs and pedicured toenails and their tiny little impractical handbags and wallets stuffed full of cash, dripping with diamonds and gold and doing their entire xmas shop in one day off a list a half a page long!

NOT

Well, maybe, just to see what it was like as I have never experienced ANY of these states in my life.

I am the one with the mad and wild jungle knotted down her back, gritting her teeth and punching people out of the way with 4 small kids in a trolley being held in with handcuffs and balls and chains, 3 of whom are screaming incessantly, for the last batman spin mobile for my son, oh hang on that was a while ago now....

Ummm, okay, I am the still the one with wild tangled hair (ran out of good conditioner) limping miles around the shops trying to see whats on sale where so I can afford to buy the much larger and still screaming brats their hearts desires and fumbling around in my HUGE HANDBAG SIZED wallet that is busting at the seams because it is full of unpaid bills and bloody layby dockets, no cash, that you can only find when you dont need them of course. I am the one with the permanent frown from doing sums in head and trying to make 2 and 2 equal 6.

Yes, that is me........

Oh well, jingle bloody bells to all I say.....merry merry whatever.

Its only once a year.

Thank gawd