Monday, September 28, 2009

Turning eight on another windy Monday.......


Eight years ago today I had my last drink.....

wow

Happy Birthday to me.

I have woken this morning to the smell of bushfire in the air. There have been fires burning all night around here, well, not too far away and all I can taste is dust and smoke.....

I hope they got it under control.

I have had a few very sad days mourning the loss of something I never could have had anyway.......pretty silly really but no less real for all that.

Sometimes dreams die harder than anything else.

Today I will look for gratitude.

I'm sure I will find it somewhere......

Throwing my hands up today......you take it universe, I don't want it any more.

Somehow I have managed to be put in a place here....

My mother and brother are at my sisters for another week, they have been there for a week already now

My kids are at home with me

I am just here.......kind of just stuck

I don't know what the next bit is

I don't know what to do

What not to do

Nobody is actually asking me for anything right now.....

And I have no idea what to do with myself

I'm feeling awfully lost in here though

10 comments:

Ghost Dansing said...

this one always makes me feel better... it is the music video for the lyrics i left over at Christopher's place.....

Lisa said...

people who dont live their dreams, die with such regret.........ask the wind to blow away the sadness and honour the pain- yes, my mary, dreams do die hard xxx

Marie S said...

Michelle congrats and happy birthday on eight years, that is awesome!!!
I can relate, but I have no help for you or me!!
Faith and hope are still there though, I have to believe that for you and for me.
Love and hugs.

christopher said...

One of the troubles of the internet I have noticed, is the possibilities that seem to come my way are almost never real. I don't know what or who you are mourning, Michelle, but believe me, there are little pains for me all the time when I practice remembering how far away you all are from me when all I want sometimes is to sit close and watch the sun set, or rise, touch your hand and let you all know how much you mean to me. I can't even have that...

christopher said...

By the way, sweetheart, I am grateful to be sharing sobriety with you. I hope you stay steady and surefooted as you trudge the road of happy destiny. May the one who left us here return for us at last. Until then may you be blessed and held close.

nollyposh said...

Paint and ~Celebrate~ this momentous occasion (((Hugs)))

Wendy said...

Seize the day. Do whatever you want to do. See this for the opportunity this is and know that every moment of your existence is a resource for you to draw on. Blessings, Michelle and congratulations on your 8th anniversary.

Natalie said...

Happy Birthday, love. You are a very different lady to the one I met around your first birthday, and i still love you big.xx♥

Kerry said...

8 years. Oh, my heart fills with pride.

My love is going your way. Dreams are sometimes better left as dreams, but in saying that, you never know what is out there for you if you don't chase them.

Many hugs Miss Michelle.

Myst_72 said...

8 years is a remarkable achievement :)

G
xx