Saturday, December 19, 2009

And the band played tra la la......


Saturday.....the sky is full of clouds and it's kinda cool here this morning

That could be good seeings as my day will be full of doing stuff at mums to get ready for the Christmas family, next week is Christmas again, how did that happen?

This year has gone by so quickly for me, on the whole. It feels I have come a million miles in some respects, especially the last few months.......I hope so anyway, I certainly wouldn't like to have to do any of those head miles again :)

I guess I have been dreading this Christmas in a way, because it will the last one with mum unless a miracle happens, because it was always a time frame marker, because of a few reasons. But as it is I am just feeling grateful that she is here again, and we get to do this one more time. Without the stress of last years giant hoo ha. This should be fairly laid back and just nice. My brother is coming, Tahni is coming, and my sister and her hubby too. That's it really, except for ex husband for a few hours Christmas Day, with his new kids. How civilised, yes? :)

I'm not really sure how I am supposed to feel in all this you know, and it's really hard sometimes, but on the whole I am just so glad to be here, doing the do, as best I can mostly, and even though it's hard for the kids out here, I am glad they get to do it too. In the long run, they will be too I hope.

My mind turns, at times, to what the future may hold.
To where I will go when all of this is done and dusted, to what I want from my life....and you know, that stuff just all seems not so urgent, and I am trying not to think about it too much.
Things can change in moment and I am not locking myself into any particular expectation right now.
There is movement around me, things are changing and strangely enough, I feel comfortable in all that.
I have learned, over time, that change is a good thing.
Change brings growth and clears out the dead wood in my life.
Change can be confronting and uncomfortable too at times, but ultimately, when things start moving in my world, I get to grow some more.
I don't always like the process but I do end up liking me more than I did when I started.

So, yeah, once again universe.....bring it on.

Just in case you wanted to know, I had a really nice night last night

Have a nice Saturday friends :)


Tom Bailey said...

I like the concepts here of change taking out old wood. Not many people like change for a variety of reasons. I just make sure it is the positive kind of change that I embrace.

Thanks for sharing,
Tom Bailey

Natalie said...

I just about wet my pants when i saw that cartoon! Rofly rofl. I had to choose a card for my S-I-L (her party today), and couldn't help but let my mind wander to the possibility of giving her one from the 'get fucked' section....BAhahahahahaah!
Oh Bahahahahahaha SNORT!

Renee said...

And when she says bring it on universe I am adding a pretty please. So that you bring it on very nicely for my darling girl this time.


Cyndy said...

I've been waiting to hear how it went......

All the other things you mentioned.... good. As expected.


Bogey said...

It's nice that you are taking things in stride. Kind of like coming to Peace with everything that has surrounded your life this past year. Not a bad way to ring out the old year. Here is praying that the New Year will bring you many new possibilites and happiness. Enjoy the time with your Mum regardless of the outcome.

Maybe your previous evening is a positive sign of things to come.