Friday, November 06, 2009

Curiouser and curiouser.........

I have had the funniest, strangest day

I don't know what the fuck is going on here but it is all a bit too weird for me

I am being driven here

I am in the drivers seat but my hands are definitely not on the wheel


Hmmmmm again.

This morning I hand it all over yes?

All being various things but mostly one....

ThenI had a phone call this morning that made me quite happy, in a what am I , crazy??? kind of way.

We will see where that goes. I am not holding my breath however.

I finally got off my big butt and drove over to/from whoop whoop and had a lovely coffee and many cakes with my Natsy and her Mark, it's been far too long since that happened.

Then I went to the psychiatrist with my Shelli, who is cutting down meds and generally doing really well. This was a nice appointment and he was over the moon with her. That felt good.

I did boring stuff like visiting government departments and picking up school letters and so on.......

Then I had more coffee with my BFFFFFFF and HER Marc and was entertained by family squabbling and the war of the esky...I dunno who won

I also went to a Womens Meeting tonight, that was interesting, and insightful. I forgot how the 'madness' creeps up on you.....I also forgot how hard we can all be on ourselves. I sat there and listened to these women call themselves silly bitches and insane and other such stuff and you know what. I am not those things.

I refuse to call me them.

This reminded me of one of the reasons why I stopped going to meetings in the first place. The very labelling of oneself that makes these things I told them/me that I was actually a really fucking strong person who just needed a reminder of that thank you very much. I also told them that if they too, did what I did, which was pretty much just not pick up a drink or drug on a daily basis for a very long time that things would start to make sense to them too one day and their insanity would go up to a whole new level but that would be okay because they would be AWARE of it..........then I laughed a lot and thought about banging my head on the floor :)

Then I went with someone to a meditation group at this little church and was bored shitless for an hour or two. Was given totally conflicting spiritual messages an old lady who wouldn't put her hearing aids in and who told me I wear a mask like in Phantom of the Opera and that I need to tell the truth????

WTF???? Helloooooooooooooo......what is it I am all about here?

Actually the meditation was nice but the arm flapping old ladies were a little too much. However, I chalked it up to the end of a big day and let them flap away.

Ahhhh gawd.

Then I drove the 45 minutes home and got the message I have been waiting for in an email from Nat.

Now I am wired and yet not.

Time will tell.....

I am going to bed.

I forgot to buy my fishing rod :(

Maybe on Sunday......


Lisa said...

i now have my own esky and HOM packed it for me with goodies so I am right to go........i have checked him about his new attitude and he assures me it wont happen again.....

angela said...

WOW You had a big day. I hope it all gets a lot better for you

Michelle said...

BFFFF you are a spoiled brat!

Bogey said...

That's kinda sorta what happens when you let go and let God. I agree, there can be a sort of negative backlash by people who talk the talk but wobble the walk. They seem to forget that you have to still go out there and live. Or at least survive. All in all, it sounds like you had a full day and have a happy heart. Go with it. Oh, and I actually saw you smiling! I bet that didn't hurt a bit now did it?