Thursday, November 26, 2009

Forgiveness feels fine.....

Just when I thought I knew it all, along came you and showed me differently....

There are times, quite often, when I need my head pulling out of my butt

This is not one of them :)

You will just have to bear with me while I work through some stuff here.............

Writing from when I was away....

All I touch here is sadness

Walked a million miles with sand between my toes

I threw you to the wind

All those you’s

Each and every one of you

Who I have loved and left

When the disappointment of life got too much to bear

and you couldn’t carry me

and I didn’t want you to

I threw you all to the wind

But you, damn you

The wind just keeps blowing you back again

I watch the sea roil

And it matches my stomach now

I pick up shells and throw them away for not being perfect

Like I threw all of you,

like you have thrown me

Is that why I am walking here alone now?

I ache here

And I am full to the brim

I need to empty

And I don’t know how

Why don’t you come?

I write your name in the sand

Throwing you into the wind again

And ducking for cover this time

You, all you are is an idea, a concept, a wish....

Me, I gave you far too much power.....

all I touch here is sadness


Renee said...

I wish I could ease your pain dear friend. But no one can.

Like Angelique said to me when I was going through the worst. "When in hell march straight through."

Love Renee xoxo

Michelle said...

Yes....march straight through, like it!

Bogey said...

I wonder....if seeing your emotions in these words, brings you some kind of clarity? I wonder...

Michelle said...

Actually Bogey, yes it does, very much so. I have moved someplace else each time and am starting to think I might need to be journalling nightly with all of this for that very reason.

Liz said...


There is so much here to read -- this post and the ones below -- it will take me a little time to let all of your words sink in...

Oh, that image of the wind blowing the sand back...

And the line about giving someone far too much power --

very powerful words you lay down here.

Such a beautiful woman you are. How much I hope for you to find love and peace...