I am back
a little bit heart broken
a little sunburned, freshly washed in the sea, sand in strange places :D
eyes wide open now......
I have driven for miles and miles, not quite sure where to be.....not wanting to be home, not wanting to be there, not wanting to be anywhere I was really.....
I walked so many miles along the coastline yesterday that my legs just wouldn't go any
further this morning....
so beautiful there, so beautiful and quiet and clean
I swam, I fished, I saw eagles this morning......being chased by crows :D
I sang loudly to the wide open empty, I danced with a pelican in the sand :)
the rain fell
the sun broke through
I was left alone
I was held close tight
I feel more whole now
I wrote your name in the sand and let the tide take you back
I said goodbye to her in a way and realised I need to make amends, or at least to make sure I have done this as best I can, before she dies......whenever that may be
I have looked closely at myself and loved me just the way I am.....
I say to you, you must take me as I AM, or leave me the hell alone.....this needed to be said by me to ME.....
I have seen my own growth and seen where I am stuck.....I have unstuck me a little I think
I have made choices somewhere deep inside. .......to take life as it comes right now, to allow me to be held if I am lonely, to be held up if I am falling down, to fall down if my legs wont hold me, to get back up again, to seek help if I am confused, to say goodbye when I am not really wanted.
All hard, all necessary.......
eyes wide wide open
oh god, and so afraid
time to stop running now