I've just realized that I've been a bit quiet these past few days in blogland.
Its been a bit like that!
I have been doing lots of painting, a bit of reading, absorbing stuff about me and my life and pondering the direction in which I wish to head.
I seem to have come to a place inside of me where I am no longer concerned about the past, it doesn't consume any part of me, I don't dwell on it very often and I have forgiven myself, and others, for things that weren't well done.
Its a bit quiet inside.
So, now I feel like I am ready to move on to the next bit. I have spent 5 years dealing with the old bit, its time to take me back. And so I am. I don't have any idea where that will lead, or what that will look like but I cannot believe it will be a bad place. I have worked too damn hard.
I deserve this and I will have it. I want to do the things I am meant for.
I have decided to move forward.
I believe that in order to move forward we need to go back, but only to become aware of what needs to change. Its not to blame or to justify or to relive. Merely to notice and accept and intentionally release.
When we were with Robert last Saturday he said that I have been hiding in a'cloud' forever and that I needed to let the cloud go. To step out of my tree. So, I have just started a new painting that has me doing just that, coming out of my tree and stepping into my power. I truly believe that I have lived this life and chosen these lessons so that I do not abuse my power when I remember it. I have to trust that I will not, and I do.
I have been to my first full moon ritual tonight at the cottage and even though I am not a 'witch' so to speak, I certainly know that I have been one before! It was a lovely night, spent with some of my favorite people, and I will do it again. Often.
Its funny you know. I have avoided 'joining' any one path so far, I have been an observer in all that I have learnt on my spiritual journey, not felt the desire or the need to pursue one thing over another and I have come to see that I am ALL of those paths and ALL of those things and that to label myself as one or the other is to put myself in a box and cut myself off from the rest of who I am. I am a spiritual being and I want to experience myself in my fullest. To participate in everything that feels right and good. And I will.
I am grateful for my friends and especially to my mary who is helping me to become me.
I am that I am, whatever face that wears, I ACCEPT.......