Saturday, May 23, 2009
Well, I decided that quite a while ago but I am reinforcing that today.
My sister left today so life is back to 'normal', god I hate that word!
She didn't want to go...
I didn't want her to go...
Mum wishes we could all be here because every time she goes she doesn't know how many times she will see her again, so tears were shed this afternoon.
She will be back soon.
Chemo was done yesterday, they were concerned because her bloods were still very low, but they did it anyway.
We talked about chemo a bit, and we decided that we would ask for a staging after this lot and then seriously ask some questions of the new doctor about whether it is worth it, in the long run.
This is what is left of her life, she needs to feel she is living it!
I know she is doing the chemo because she thinks it is what we want, that she is scared to be really sick because it will be hard for ME.....fuck! I told her today that this is HER life, she needs to call the shots, I am just holding her hand!
So, we will see what the next few weeks brings and then, whatever she decides, will be what is.
I am also investigating some extra alternative stuff for her, aimed specifically at the lungs, because the bowel has, so far, responded very well to the B17 by not growing anywhere else!
I didn't get out for my walk yesterday, I didn't stand under a tree for me, but I felt good anyway, because it was only the rain that stopped me, and I chose not to get wet that day:)
I feel strong today.
I hope that lasts for a while.
I am listening to KD Lang. I like KD Lang, she's a bit sexy.
I feel strangely unburdened and well, free!
I feel like I am growing into me.
I needed to leave and I did.
I made the right choice.
I am strong.
Hear me roar!
Ummm, the post below was Shelli! Dobbing me in because she cut up the carrots and they were all over the floor! Can't get away with anything around here!